If you could make the rules, what would they be?

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Mona Pereth
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13 Jan 2022, 6:40 pm

Suppose you were somehow in a position to decide the culture and social customs of some large group of people.

What would be the rules of dating/courtship/whatever, in your ideal world? How would they be similar to and different from the rules in today's world (insofar as you can figure out what the latter rules are, at least)?

For now, this question is a purely theoretical exercise.

However, at some point in the future, if and whenever the organized autistic community (subculture) becomes a lot bigger and better-organized than it is now, it may become possible for us to do some serious subculture engineering, if enough of us agree to it.

Social rules are not infinitely malleable, but they are, to a large extent, culture-dependent, and have changed many times in the past. They can change again.

It's worth starting a conversation about it now.

We can't instantly change the world, but hopefully some of will be inspired to get to work on laying the foundations of a new world where more of us can feel at home.


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theprisoner
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13 Jan 2022, 6:44 pm

For lack of a better idea at the moment. I would incorporate a neo-native american style culture. A society that is in harmony with nature. But still utilizing technology. I'm not a Luddite.


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txfz1
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13 Jan 2022, 7:00 pm

Aspie global domination would be the perfect world. We are the normal ones and NTs are marginalized, not really, as they will see the utopia of aspie, absorb the traits, and lying will become non-existent.

Think of the talent, imagine the advances in the arts and sciences.

Disclaimer: It would probably turn out like H.G Wells "Time Machine" with Elois and Morlocks.



Mona Pereth
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14 Jan 2022, 3:03 am

In your ideal world, how would the rules around dating/courtship be different from today's world?


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Sweetleaf
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14 Jan 2022, 3:37 am

I would never want to be in such a position or accept one, that is for people that aren't me. I am not good at making the rules or regulations, but I can follow them if they make sense. But for instance no smoking pot didn't sit well so damn well back years ago I did sighn the petition for legal weed in Colorado, I didn't think anything would come of it at the time...

But hell now it's just regular to go to the dispensary and get weed, don't gotta wait hours for the dealer to get around to finally delivering that weed, you can just go to the nearest dispensary and get it on the spot. Also probably makes it easier for new people who don't know of a 'connection' to get weed from. Unfortunatly still gotta find connections for shrooms though, granted maybe they will spread the decriminalization in Denver to the rest of the state especially with that study they did that implied they did not see any increase in criminal or disruptive behavior with the decriminalization of shrooms. So basically, statistically legalizing shrooms has no real detriment to socitey so I hope that could mean legalization for the whole state. I mean honestly if I trip shrooms I get like a 30 day afterglow where my mental health feels better than usual and I can handle more...I feel one of my problems is I should do shrooms once a month but it is hard to get them often enough to do that. But yeah I think at least one trip per month would be helpful for my mental state but its not garanteed to get a dose of shrooms every month because its illegal and risky to do. I don't know why...like shrooms are great but illegal in most of the country so one has to be careful.

Anyways that was awfully long winded but If I could make at least one rule it would be...let people eat psychedelic mushrooms, it shouldn't be a crime.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Jan 2022, 4:17 am

Like having some magical powers to make people act the way you want? This can turn out twisted quickly.
In my horny moments I may use this "power" to make some gal or more to behave nymphomaniacally toward me, and make it a social standard to be so. :lol:

Power corrupts.



Mona Pereth
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14 Jan 2022, 7:22 am

Let's re-word the question, which was really intended to be about your ideal world, not about personal power.

If you had a choice of alternate universes that you could easily step into, and if the main difference between them was differences in dating/courtship customs, what sort of world would you choose, assuming that one of the available alternate universes was ideal for you in this regard?


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Fnord
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14 Jan 2022, 9:35 am

Casual dating (i.e., "Hey, I'm goin' for some coffee.  Y'wanna come along?") would still be the same; but serious dating would first require an interview/screening process, much the same as would a job hunt, complete with dating history and embarrassing questions (i.e., "What did you find attractive?", "What were your activities?", "Why did you break up?", and "Where do you see yourself five years from now?").

Background checks and credit histories would have to be exchanged, as well.

Polygraph examinations would be optional; but refusing to take one would be grounds for rejecting the application.



txfz1
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14 Jan 2022, 9:41 am

So with respect to dating, since lying is not tolerated in aspieworld, it is returned to the moral codes. When two people decide to date, there is a prerequisite that all intentions must be made available to each. Say it’s a blog or app that defines what you are looking for or expect from a relationship. Cheat or lie and the system puts you in time out, harm someone and go to jail.



Fnord
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14 Jan 2022, 9:55 am

Fnord wrote:
Casual dating (i.e., "Hey, I'm goin' for some coffee.  Y'wanna come along?") would still be the same; but serious dating would first require an interview/screening process, much the same as would a job hunt, complete with dating history and embarrassing questions (i.e., "What did you find attractive?", "What were your activities?", "Why did you break up?", and "Where do you see yourself five years from now?").  Background checks and credit histories would have to be exchanged, as well.  Polygraph examinations would be optional; but refusing to take one would be grounds for rejecting the application.
txfz1 wrote:
So with respect to dating, since lying is not tolerated in aspieworld, it is returned to the moral codes. When two people decide to date, there is a prerequisite that all intentions must be made available to each. Say it’s a blog or app that defines what you are looking for or expect from a relationship. Cheat or lie and the system puts you in time out, harm someone and go to jail.
It seems we are in general agreement.



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14 Jan 2022, 9:58 am

Broken clock is correct twice every day. :D



Fnord
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14 Jan 2022, 10:05 am

:D I was referring to the near-mandatory requirement for openness and honesty from both parties before any "courtship" could take place.

Heck, do away with the "near" part, and require complete openness and total honesty from the git-go!



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14 Jan 2022, 10:48 am

Women are attracted to short men, the shorter the better.



Fnord
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14 Jan 2022, 12:48 pm

Another rule: People do not rely on only ONE aspect of themselves to attract others, but develop as many attractive traits as possible to avoid a lifetime of singleness.



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15 Jan 2022, 4:33 pm

I don't know, but like what FB just posted here; do not become powerful.

Power (regardless of the context of a relationship) will corrupt.

As for me (and my NT woman), we may have to come up with rules
in order to make sure nothing awkward happens between her and my mom.


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Mona Pereth
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16 Jan 2022, 1:43 pm

As I said, this thread wasn't intended to be about power, but about the dating/courtship customs of your ideal world.


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