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I Hate My Life!!

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Kitty4670
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14 Jan 2022, 9:33 pm

I wish I was dead. I’m at the low point in my life, I’m not very responsible, I am failure! I fail me, I fail my cat. I used to be more responsible, I was very good with my money, I was sooo good with saving money, I been good at it since I was a teenager, when I was living with my mom, I saved $2,000, I bought my desktop computer with the money I was saving, I loved that computer, I don’t have it anymore, I don’t remember what happened to it, I remember my keyboard got ruined by rats. Anyway, my money in the trust fund that my mom left, is going to run out this year, my sister told me the money will be gone in a couple of months, she should have told me earlier, I could have saved more money, but NOOOO! My stupid sister had to be sooo controlling. Now I’m so scared. My sister is selling her house, the house is an investment, but I don’t know how much money will come from the house & how much she will give me, I wish I had another sister, a MUCH MUCH BETTER sister. I’m happy the SSI increase their money, but it still not alot. I still have my mom life insurance checks, I don’t know how long for, the checks are under $200. I ordered groceries today, almost every person that delivered the groceries, I asked them if they could come in & put them on the kitchen floor for me, if i go on my porch, my anxiety will be sooo worse & I will have more trouble breathing too. I have a table near my front door, the guy couldn’t come in, so he put them inside near the front door, he put my water on the table, it was 24 pack of water bottles, I moved them to the kitchen, it was heavy, I had sooooo much trouble handling them, my heart was beating fast, I had anxiety, I had trouble breathing too, I ended up crying, cuz I cannot do anything right. I’m NO GOOD, I’m worthless! I hate my life soooo much, I wish I was dead. It doesn’t matter if I’m talking to a guy on Skype, I told him about my Cerebral Pasly & Aspergers, he’s still interested in me, this morning, he said ‘hello sexy’ What’s wrong with him. I’m no good!



lvpin
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15 Jan 2022, 7:56 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
I wish I was dead. I’m at the low point in my life, I’m not very responsible, I am failure! I fail me, I fail my cat. I used to be more responsible, I was very good with my money, I was sooo good with saving money, I been good at it since I was a teenager, when I was living with my mom, I saved $2,000, I bought my desktop computer with the money I was saving, I loved that computer, I don’t have it anymore, I don’t remember what happened to it, I remember my keyboard got ruined by rats. Anyway, my money in the trust fund that my mom left, is going to run out this year, my sister told me the money will be gone in a couple of months, she should have told me earlier, I could have saved more money, but NOOOO! My stupid sister had to be sooo controlling. Now I’m so scared. My sister is selling her house, the house is an investment, but I don’t know how much money will come from the house & how much she will give me, I wish I had another sister, a MUCH MUCH BETTER sister. I’m happy the SSI increase their money, but it still not alot. I still have my mom life insurance checks, I don’t know how long for, the checks are under $200. I ordered groceries today, almost every person that delivered the groceries, I asked them if they could come in & put them on the kitchen floor for me, if i go on my porch, my anxiety will be sooo worse & I will have more trouble breathing too. I have a table near my front door, the guy couldn’t come in, so he put them inside near the front door, he put my water on the table, it was 24 pack of water bottles, I moved them to the kitchen, it was heavy, I had sooooo much trouble handling them, my heart was beating fast, I had anxiety, I had trouble breathing too, I ended up crying, cuz I cannot do anything right. I’m NO GOOD, I’m worthless! I hate my life soooo much, I wish I was dead. It doesn’t matter if I’m talking to a guy on Skype, I told him about my Cerebral Pasly & Aspergers, he’s still interested in me, this morning, he said ‘hello sexy’ What’s wrong with him. I’m no good!


I'm so sorry you are feeling like this Kitty. Your sister should have really told you earlier but you shouldn't beat yourself up. This problem came from a misunderstanding and from now on you know to be more cautious. It's not your fault for believing she would be better to you. As for your feeling of not being any good, that seems to be quite harsh. You have worth and while your only proof shouldn't be what others say, clearly he can see good things about you too. I hope you feel better soon and your anxiety sounds really hard, I hope you can cope with it more in teh future :heart: