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Kitty4670
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15 Jan 2022, 7:45 pm

Is it very hard for Aspergers to let things go?


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AquaineBay
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15 Jan 2022, 8:39 pm

That depends on the person. Some people with Aspergers don't have trouble letting things go, others do have a hard time letting stuff go. I noticed though from my personal experience that those on the spectrum have a harder time letting things go than not. Could be our obsession, could be low self-esteem, could be self-consciousness, but whatever it is it seems that more on the spectrum have a harder time letting things go than not. That is my experience though maybe others may think otherwise.



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15 Jan 2022, 9:31 pm

I have a lot of trouble with it. If I've misplaced something, it bugs me like mad till I find it. If I notice a question, I find it hard to let go of the urge to answer it properly. If I see something that seems wrong to me, it's hard for me to just let it go, I feel the need to either put it right or at least vent my spleen about it in a clear way. If I see a challenge to my abilities that's anything like feasible (and I tend to have an eye for outrageously ambitious possibilities), I'm powerfully tempted to do my utmost to meet the challenge. If I've taken on a task, I can barely rest till I've performed it. I guess I just hate abandoning anything.

I do let things go, because I have to be practical, but it often stings. Still, the bad feeling usually soon dissipates.



UncannyDanny
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15 Jan 2022, 9:55 pm

Being a Vietnam War veteran, my grandfather suffered from SO MUCH hell that it's really nearly impossible for him to let things go, and move on.

Maybe it really DOES run in the family. 8O


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Jakki
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15 Jan 2022, 10:14 pm

Can identify with not letting things go...!


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theprisoner
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15 Jan 2022, 10:18 pm

Image


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shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jan 2022, 11:03 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:
Being a Vietnam War veteran, my grandfather suffered from SO MUCH hell that it's really nearly impossible for him to let things go, and move on.

Maybe it really DOES run in the family. 8O


Habituation versus desensitization

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My letting things go skills much worse than almost everyone I have ever interacted with

Especially about social situations

And academic accomplishments

Every slightest thing, several years minimum to obsess over

Obsessive compulsive disorder



Kitty4670
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15 Jan 2022, 11:57 pm

That explans alot. A week ago my apartment building owner decided to remove the security door from people apartments, I cannot leave my door open anymore! I sooo angry.


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EEngineer75
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16 Jan 2022, 12:10 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Is it very hard for Aspergers to let things go?


Do you mean like mild or worse OCD about certain, particular thoughts & routines?

Or are you asking about ... holding a grudge? Or fixating on something of interest?

Or something else?


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Jakki
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16 Jan 2022, 4:09 am

All the Above ....... :roll:


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16 Jan 2022, 4:00 pm

I have a very hard time letting things go. I held a grudge against someone that I went to college with for years because he hurt me so much. It wasn't until last spring that I felt I was ready to forgive him and be friends with him once more. I was searching for him on the Internet. That's when I found out that he passed away, in the late December of 2020.


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Jakki
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16 Jan 2022, 4:58 pm

Sure wish dome of the people that did me and my family very critically wrong. Would pass on into whereever the universe wants to put them , hopefully some place that is equivolent to the deeds
they have done. :|


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Nemesis2k7
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18 Jan 2022, 3:40 am

I would have to say yes. Because it explains my life on this planet. It has been very hard for me , in the past, to let things go. and just "forget" about it and "move on" as people say. Now days, i "move on" and "forgive" but i honestly, cannot forget. I do try to. but its there. stuck, like a splinter in my mind. I don't think i will ever be fully able to let go. But at least, i am learning how to "act" differently, and not show that things bother me. I get the impression, that people just don't care.



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18 Jan 2022, 10:32 am

If it's holding a grudge you mean, and not just generalised tenacity, I've been known to, but I don't think I do it any more than the next man. I don't often completely forget it when an individual has been nasty to me or a loved one, and if anything triggers the memory I'll probably feel a ripple of resentment towards them, but I don't hang onto it for long. I don't feel it's quite right when somebody gets away with rotten behaviour. I even feel that about certain politicians and business leaders who never seem to get brought to justice for their obvious dirty tricks and attacks on ordinary people. Frankly very little of their behaviour has affected my lifestyle very much, but I still feel like punching them. I think that's a good thing. I don't approve of too much forbearance. If everybody felt like I do, sociopaths would be more afraid of hurting people and sucking their blood.



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19 Jan 2022, 7:45 am

do a search for " autistic perseveration".
lots of good info comes up. It is one of the things that is used to diagnose autism, having to do with repetition and continual behavior patterns of many sorts.


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