What was your developmental history like?

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LisaM1031
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20 Jan 2022, 5:26 pm

I’ve posted on here before because while not diagnosed with ASD, I strongly suspect I’m on the spectrum (like 99% chance).
I also have a son who’s currently 2.5 and has a language delay. I know that this in and of itself doesn’t imply ASD. However, he has about 5-10 words he says at any given time and his vocabulary is not growing. It always stays about the same and he seems to lose words he previously had. He also can only say one syllable words with the end consonant cut off (like Fa for fan). No two syllable words or short sentences.
He also has an obsession with fans and can stare at a moving fan for hours. There are some of the trade mark mannerisms as well like toe walking and hand flapping on a regular basis.

I have not pursued a diagnosis for my son yet because he’s still young but I think there’s a strong chance he may qualify. Have any of you had a similar developmental history? Where you had trouble with language early on and turned out to be high functioning? I’m just trying to get general idea of what his future functioning may be.

Like I said, I suspect I may be on the spectrum myself but I was more of a “little professor” type who had good language but social impairments and a flat affect.



ToughDiamond
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20 Jan 2022, 5:58 pm

No, I was another little professor. Quite the child prodigy till I was about 9. Though some of it would have been down to my father's foresight in teaching my my letters and numbers before I started school at 5 years old, and that would have given me a head start in our working-class district where in those days most parents had never heard of such a gambit. Being very likely an Aspie himself, he was able to make it interesting to me. Once I knew my letters, I was soon decyphering simple words before I even started school, while the other kids mostly had to do it all from scratch.

The only signs I recall that there might be anything "wrong" with me in those days were that I had "tantrums" at a very early age, which my disciplinarian mother pretty much frightened me out of (and I doubt they were that severe in the first place or she'd never have been able to achieve that), and such intense hyperfocus on my activities at home that I'd keep wetting myself rather than visit the toilet. There was nothing that made my parents think there was anything clinically wrong, AFAIK. I was the first and only one to suspect that, around the age of 12 when everything got much more difficult at school and socially.



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20 Jan 2022, 7:43 pm

Hi Lisa - my youngest son was diagnosed at the age of 5yrs, and was severely autistic. He too lost words and regressed(due to the school environment … I wound up needing to home educate him, after trying public and private school settings.) He’s now living independently, composes, sings, plays piano/guitar etc and plays in bars etc, is in 3rd Year of University studies, has been in films, acted live on stage, and has come so far, I can’t even begin to tell you. My thoughts on your path ahead, are that there is every possibility that your son will amaze you in what he can do and achieve, with your love and support.



Elgee
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21 Jan 2022, 1:33 pm

LisaM1031 wrote:
He also has an obsession with fans and can stare at a moving fan for hours. There are some of the trade mark mannerisms as well like toe walking and hand flapping on a regular basis.


STRONGLY indicative of ASD. I last saw my niece when she was 3; wasn't talking the way a 3 year old should. Always Hand flapped when at table waiting for food. Often jumped in playpen repetitively for prolonged periods. I've had no contact with my brother since (estrangement from whole family). These behaviors were under their radar, though

Maybe things are now more obvious, but at any rate, in your son's case, what jumps out at me is the fan obsession. Autistic children are known for being fascinated with spinning objects.

Like you I haven't been evaluted but suspect Aspie. As for my own young development, I grew up when HFA wasn't a known thing; only the severe stereotypes were known. In retrospect, though, the signes were there. Several oddball interests at a young age. Little professor curious nature about things. Aptitude for drawing at age 5; playing piano at age 6. Collecting seashells and rocks. Social introversion. Started first grade at 5.



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21 Jan 2022, 2:08 pm

My mom said I was talking pretty well at 3, though an assessment for Kindergarten at 6 says otherwise, and that I still had issues with articulating words and being understood by others.

I also toe walked as a kid (I still do half the time lol) and used to like watching our ceiling fan for prolonged periods of time. I don't know if I hand flapped as a kid, but I had a lot of other motor stims.

I think that if you seek a diagnosis and your son does have ASD that it wouldn't hurt to have speech therapy and other resources available to you, if he needs them.



LisaM1031
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21 Jan 2022, 2:18 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
My mom said I was talking pretty well at 3, though an assessment for Kindergarten at 6 says otherwise, and that I still had issues with articulating words and being understood by others.

I also toe walked as a kid (I still do half the time lol) and used to like watching our ceiling fan for prolonged periods of time. I don't know if I hand flapped as a kid, but I had a lot of other motor stims.

I think that if you seek a diagnosis and your son does have ASD that it wouldn't hurt to have speech therapy and other resources available to you, if he needs them.


He’s actually in speech therapy now due to the speech delay. He’s only considered speech delayed now and hasn’t been formally assessed for autism at this point. I think a lot of kids improve in their speech between 2 and 3 so they didn’t want to jump to a label right away. He does show a lot of ASD “red flags” though that a speech teacher may not necessarily pick up on.



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21 Jan 2022, 3:17 pm

Nothing seems off until school age. Nothing very apparent.
Not even my language learning issues.
Not even to things that drawn me into a special interest because seem socially acceptable or very inaccessibly inexpressible.

It only became more apparent at later childhood and teenage years.


Won't get into details on behaviors and upbringing.

Making a long story short --
Didn't dealt with intolerances so it didn't translate to behaviors associated with overwhelm. That only started to happen right before I first burned out in high school.

Nothing to aspire to. No inspiration or idols. No stable or reliable formal structures or systems.
No direction except to be free. Not even special interests gives that direction well yet.
Just random input and having to sort it myself manually. And still trying to sort which or what.

No nastiness to deal like abuse and discrimination.
Except petty childhood bullying, which I dealt very violently because telling on them won't work. And so many constraints mainly related to financial issues as a child.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 21 Jan 2022, 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Elgee
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21 Jan 2022, 3:18 pm

How's his eye contact with people outside the family?



LisaM1031
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21 Jan 2022, 3:42 pm

Elgee wrote:
How's his eye contact with people outside the family?


Not completely absent but a bit inconsistent. There have been times where another child has tried to get his attention and he was completely oblivious. He also seems more focused on objects than on faces at times.



AprilR
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21 Jan 2022, 3:57 pm

My language development was normal as well, although there was a period that my parents thought i had a hearing problem since i wasn't answering questions.



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22 Jan 2022, 4:35 pm

Everyone is different but <link>. For best effect, read at least paragraphs 1–3.


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LisaM1031
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22 Jan 2022, 6:22 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Everyone is different but <link>. For best effect, read at least paragraphs 1–3.


I get that everyone’s different and there’s always a chance my son could grow up to be an “eccentric genius.” This is quite possible given my husband’s and my gene pool. It’s been bothering me a bit lately though because I’ve seen YouTube videos of children who have been diagnosed with autism who seem to be be more verbal than My son is so I wonder, what if he’s not a level 1 but moderate to severe? Was I just being naive thinking “I don’t know if he’s autistic but if so it’s not that bad.”



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22 Jan 2022, 9:42 pm

I'm in the Autism is a difference camp. For some it is a terrible disability, for some (such as myself) if is a terrible inconvenience because it is so different from what everyone else expects. If you've met one Autistic you've met one Autistic. Time will tell.

I can tell you what my Dad told me recently. He said he and my Mom realized I was doing strange things but they decided I wasn't being bad, I was just like that, so they "decided not to punish me." I am so glad.


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sesame
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22 Jan 2022, 10:36 pm

Definitely in the "little professor" camp myself, but there were definitely other signs in early childhood... I developed major sensory issues around clothes/food aversions/sleep issues (again, due to sensory problems) in toddlerhood. I also started stimming around this time, nothing "obvious" like hand flapping or rocking but did spin and compulsively pull on my eyelashes/nails.

I've grown into a definitely-autistic but fairly functional self-employed adult, growing out of some of my old behaviors and developing others. I've always been somewhat hyperlingual but did and still have an atypical functional vocabulary- my grasp on spoken word is great, but the vocabulary I use and have always used in conversation can come off as somewhat stilted, dated, or otherwise odd.
My eye contact (or lack thereof) seems to get worse every year.

As other posters have mentioned, regardless of whether your son "is" or "is not", and regardless of what diagnostic criteria he ends up fitting (if any)... Let him engage in his interests, and continue getting him gentle help for the things he's struggling with. I don't think you can go too wrong that way.



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23 Jan 2022, 4:28 am

My 1st school in Bangkok(my father worked at the British embassy there) picked up on certain things to the extent they suggested to my parents they should be checked out. The 'S' word was mentioned.C1963 I was assessed at Gt Ormond street. S was dismissed as a possibility,and other possibilities weren't explored.

Things started to fall apart,in terms of being a 'normal' child on starting prep school at 8. For the first 3 years I regularly wet the bed, but there was no bed wetting at home. The wheels completely fell off the wagon when I went to public school at the age of 13. I was bullied a lot.



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23 Jan 2022, 7:04 am

Primary school was relatively problem free for me. I could meet the basic and limited social demands well enough to be accepted and to have friends and not be bullied. I was fortunate to go to a very friendly and accepting primary school, and there were people with far more serious issues than me in my class that kept my teachers hands full.

I was well supported by my family too and had minimal stress. As I understand it, this all fits in fine with the current research, as to how I never manifested any obvious signs of Autism at this stage of my life. Plus it was the 1970s in the heart of rural Mid Wales. Nobody there had even heard of Autism at that point!

High school was more difficult, got bullied etc, and struggled more. Small classes with friends were fine at times and I did well. 6th from was hard, but it was at Uni when things totally unravelled. I ended up having some kind of nervous breakdown due to all the stresses and strains, and I've never been the same since.

It's taken me so long to be able to find a way of stabilising myself and discovering my inner resilience and a positive problem solving approach to my difficulties. This was all during my long period of furlough during the first major lock down of 2020. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Since then I have attended 16 weeks of CBT for my social anxiety. It didn't solve my problem by any means, but one of the main ways it has helped is that it has helped nudge me towards discovering that I think I'm very likely to be on the spectrum. With my therapists constant questioning of all my issues, this lead to me being receptive, at just the right time, when I watched the latest show that Chris Packham did on his Asperger's, and everything kind of clicked. This is the only time I have ever had a use for the word "serendipity" but those set of circumstances definitely feel like that's what it has been.

It's been one hell of a journey. With a big emphasis on a great deal of personal hell.

@Fire Monkey, what is the "S word"?