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Scrump
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Location: Somewhere in Oregon

28 Jan 2022, 12:27 am

I’m new here, as I made an account only seconds ago. I’m 14, and a freshman at a nearby high school. I’m kind of afraid that I have Asperger’s. As far as I can remember, I have hardly shown emotion, I’ve been told that I speak in a very monotone manner, I have few but strong interests, and I have never done well in social situations. I’m too scared of asking for help, but I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t. I know that my parents are there for me, it’s just that I can’t bear how uncomfortable I’m imagining it would feel. Please help me



enz
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28 Jan 2022, 12:41 am

*edit

What are your interests?



Scrump
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Location: Somewhere in Oregon

28 Jan 2022, 1:09 am

Greece, models, weapons, video games. I forgot to mention that my memory only works on random, mostly unimportant things, and that I always trail off topic when explaining something



ThisTimelessMoment
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28 Jan 2022, 1:15 am

Welcome! Read the threads here at WP and see if what people are saying resonates with you. If it does then sick around.


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enz
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28 Jan 2022, 1:46 am

Welcome Do you have a group of friends?



Scrump
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28 Jan 2022, 2:00 am

Kind of, I’m only around them when my cousin brings them towards where I am. I only know them through him. I can’t sustain friendships



enz
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28 Jan 2022, 2:07 am

Personally Over time I felt less and less strange and understood people better. I have a small group of friends now and for me that’s fine

It’s easier to talk with people and become friends with people who have some of the same interests as you. I’d recommend groups like meetup



Jakki
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28 Jan 2022, 2:28 am

Might consider , getting yourself tested through your school, idk if your school has counselors of any type, but you might try them.. Getting a diagnosis may unlock some understanding for you , as well as being on this site .
What caused you to look up this site .? Good luck on your journey of self discovery . :D


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auntblabby
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28 Jan 2022, 4:50 am

you're in the right place, Scrump :)



autisticelders
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28 Jan 2022, 7:14 am

welcome! take your time to sort it out, things will be clearer after a while. Use the search feature to look up previous conversations, ask questions.
You don't have to stampede into diagnosis, you can take time to collect and categorize your info and see how a diagnosis of autism might fit for you.
There are loads of books, websites, videos, blogs, forums, etc out there . I have very poor visual and audio processing for anything in "real life" interactions and find I do much better when I read things for information and I always write things down to remember them.
Sending best wishes. We are here to listen and support.


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SharonB
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28 Jan 2022, 8:56 am

Welcome.

Discovering yourself is hard and good. There are pros and cons to doing that at your age. Hang in there for the goodness of it.

I still would like to learn how to advocate for myself. I'd really like a class for that. I'm learning to calmly and briefly explain my situation -- "I really care about this [even though it's not showing because I'm doing everything I can to control myself] and will get back to you [most likely in written form which I can edit more easily]."

I hope your school has some good social-emotional resources. My daughter is likely on the spectrum (as am I) and I'm hopeful to get her into programs with more like-minded or understanding teachers, students and support. If not, I will look for resources outside of school. That is how I made it through adolescence - resources, resources... and resources. Once I even used a community college service when I didn't even go to that school, but it was open to the community. Right now I volunteer at a community service organization and use their resources also. Mutually beneficial that way and they are understanding (and supportive) of human differences.



Double Retired
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28 Jan 2022, 11:11 am

Welcome to WP! I hope you find it to be a friendly place—and if a thread gets too unfriendly, just leave the thread, not the "planet".

We can't diagnose you, of course, but you might get some insights from the following unofficial sites:
-=-- Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test
-=-- Aspie Quiz Registering is optional!

And remember the general wisdom: If you've met one Autistic you've met one Autistic.

That is we're all different! And so are you, whether you have Asperger's Syndrome, or not.

P.S. My official diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) but the Psychologist who diagnosed me noted that I also met the criteria formerly associated with Asperger's Syndrome. I got my diagnosis when I was 64 (yes, I'm old—I suspect I have a pair of shoes that are older than your parents!).

I pursued a diagnosis because I was curious. It helped me understand myself. But, at my age, it had little practical usefulness.


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TimS1980
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29 Jan 2022, 6:18 pm

Welcome!

It's ok to be worried, especially given the way some people talk about autism.

In time, you might find that some of them have the wrong idea - we're valid and full people just as we are, and plenty is possible for us.

I remember feeling very worried about raising this with my parents, and that still when I had 37 years of maturity, and the self-confidence which comes with that.

Have you, perhaps, taken a screener test?
The aspie quiz is the one I recommended for my friends because it is better aligned than some others, to modern conceptions of spectrum traits.

I have more I can say about dealing with parents. First I'll ask -

Have they said anything about autism or Asperger's that gives you an idea how they think about these conditions? How about mental health matters in general?

Have you done any assessments they organized?



starrytigress
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29 Jan 2022, 7:00 pm

Hello and welcome.
I can kinda understand what you mean by being scared. I was incredibly confused and upset when I was first diagnosed at 18. But it isn't anything to be afraid of. You're just different, sort of like you're a Mac in a world of PCs, or vice versa. I would encourage you to get tested as well, if for no other reason than having that piece of paper with a clinical diagnosis can be useful when you need some accommodations.
As for emotions, you might have alexithymia, it a condition where a person had difficulty recognizing not only their own emotions, but the emotions of others as well. There appears to be a high overlap between autism and alexithymia.
And your special interests can turn into a superpower. I work in a library and have since I was 17 (I'm now 31), and I have incidentally memorized the dewey decimal system, which is super useful whenever the catalog goes down, and in a lot of cases I'm way faster than someone searching the catalog, and I'm also able to tell when a book has been miscataloged under the wrong number.
And if you're still feeling upset about possibly having autism, this is something I tell a lot of people, Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of pokemon, is on the spectrum.
I do think you should discuss this with your parents. My parents were always supportive of me, even before the diagnosis, and even more so after. I know that I had always had a pervasive feeling of somehow not fitting in, like everyone got a decoder ring in their cereal box but me, and not I can't 'decode' the secret language everyone is speaking, even though they expect me to.
A formal diagnosis can also help with treatment, although currently the only treatment covered by insurance is ABA therapy (which does not have a good reputation in the autistic community) but you might need a different sort of therapy. I do CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) with a therapist that specializes in working with people with developmental disabilities.
Best of luck, and know that here you're among people who will understand.



Scrump
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Joined: 27 Jan 2022
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30 Jan 2022, 12:07 am

I’ve taken several of the autism tests, and all have told me that there is a high chance of me having Asperger’s. I don’t know if I should take those too seriously though



auntblabby
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30 Jan 2022, 12:39 am

the rests tell you that you should ask for a consult with an expert. give the expert your results. s/he will put them in perspective for you.