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Sweetleaf
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28 Jan 2022, 3:20 am

F**ck its hard, freaking hell it's hard and it just freaking sucks, but you have to do it and it sucks and it sucks, but you still have to do it. I mean when you think about it like how the hell do we end up able to do that...it sucks and it sucks and yet you somehow find it in yourself to keep going every day...but f*ck what a freaking effort that is. And if you think that is bad you even have to push past that and half the time you feel you're about to lose your mind but you just have to push past that to. And then what you make some money....then you die so at the end of the day whats the point but your alive now so you wanna enjoy it before your gone and money helps with that. Idk everything is just a disaster and it sucks no matter how much you convince yourself you're doing ok.

Alright well end of rant just felt like saying that.


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autisticelders
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28 Jan 2022, 7:23 am

all true! Sounds like you need some self care.
You are important and deserving of fulfilling your needs, and worthy of rest, respect, comfort, and caring.
Self care always first or there isn't enough left in you to do that stinking adult stuff. Sending thoughts of peace, safety, and warm feelings of rest.

Cheering you on, you are not alone!


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cabowm02
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30 Jan 2022, 4:03 am

Capitalism and humans are animals. Yeah Only in capitalism can someone make 80,000 in Human Resources to head a team growing a plant like Marijuana in one state while others make $11 an hour before taxes in a subservient hard working job.



HighLlama
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30 Jan 2022, 4:54 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
F**ck its hard, freaking hell it's hard and it just freaking sucks, but you have to do it and it sucks and it sucks, but you still have to do it. I mean when you think about it like how the hell do we end up able to do that...it sucks and it sucks and yet you somehow find it in yourself to keep going every day...but f*ck what a freaking effort that is. And if you think that is bad you even have to push past that and half the time you feel you're about to lose your mind but you just have to push past that to. And then what you make some money....then you die so at the end of the day whats the point but your alive now so you wanna enjoy it before your gone and money helps with that. Idk everything is just a disaster and it sucks no matter how much you convince yourself you're doing ok.

Alright well end of rant just felt like saying that.


I agree with all that you're saying, but I personally love growing old. There is strength and comfort in learning to endure; in realizing life has no meaning except in our minds, and that we are no one--to let go of expectation, and accept all feeling. Even, and especially, when things can't get worse. But, yes, most days I would love to turn into a tempest.



babybird
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30 Jan 2022, 1:32 pm

It is really hard to be an adult. I still struggle but somehow I manage to survive.

I think my worst/hardest years were between 20 and 30.



Ilovehorses29
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03 Feb 2022, 9:09 pm

I find adulting challenging as well. Although right now I'm on a winning streak. Self-care and being kind to oneself is vitally important. Also, allowing yourself to just chill and listen to music, or watch netflix is completely fine. I was talking with my Aunt who's an NT and even she was telling me that chilling and watching netflix is completely fine.



Edna3362
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03 Feb 2022, 9:20 pm

It's also hard for me.
Not the outwardly stuff like chores, managing money or even talking to people. They're all easier for me.
Flexible and unpredictable schedules are even the least of my worries.

I have a very neglected aspect of self care however.

Some I have no issues with like relaxing and exercise.
Some are in progress like losing unhealthy habits or certain socially acceptable addictions.

But there's the not possible until either financially more well off enough or lucky.

Like affording to get a doctor to finally check if I'm coping with some illness all this time.
Or buying a reliable transportation so I don't have to walk an hour long to go to work and home.


I can work hard. But already I'm working too hard before I even go to work.
And for how long?..


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auntblabby
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04 Feb 2022, 4:38 am

aging is a b!+<h. plain and simple. each day gets harder. capacities, cognitions/EF and senses ['cept for pain/stiffness] lessen to a dispiriting degree. having to take pills daily to survive gets less and less appealing. not even being able to reliably walk [sans cane] more than a few feet is the most depressing thing. similarly having to take heroic measures to get it up and get it off. used to be that at least i could do THAT reliably and without drama. now it takes a GD act of congress. lordy i miss those days of relatively carefree yore. :cry: