Anyone got a magic 8 ball to shake??

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^ I echo the sentiments.

Thx! Ya, will do. Healthy diet, exercise, sleep etc. I'll figure it out and be alright. I've made it through other challenges. Business school, trade school, sales jobs, working in Tech management now.. sports & stuff - snowboarding, mountain biking, kiteboarding, motorcycling.. etc - new day, new challenge & next chapter kind of stuff rinse and repeat and do the best you can with what you've got.

It's going to be wildly different, yeah, but I/we will manage. Plus my AS is treated and under control so my capacity to deal with things is greatly improved compared to what it was a decade ago.

I tried out the online 8 Ball, and judging from its answers, we are royally screwed.

At least we're gettin' some.

I remember now once having a magic 8 ball app on my phone.

I gave it four shakes....

Yip. Figured/pretty much.. that's the waaaaay she goes.

Snafu: After the first call the old woman decided she wanted to do counselling and then have him back. Since she’s legal guardian, she calls the shots.

There were a couple inspections of her home by social workers, then another conference call where all this was discussed.

Bottom line, I’m going to have him for 6 months and have conference call meetings every 4-6 weeks and then a decision.

His choice is to live with me - and I don’t blame him. It’s a very.. different life in her household.

Fortunately for us she said a handful of stupid things on the call and will likely do the same during counselling and future calls and will bury herself. Also, 6 months is long enough that her and her husband may simply choose to relinquish control and give him up. My aunt is fairly confident that one or the other will happen and 6 months will transition into permanent - and that that’s why the Ministry recommended 6 months.. aiming for the end objective of him being in my care instead.

I just wish I knew it was more permanent so I could go sign a lease somewhere instead of having to figure out temporary housing - especially since our real estate market is absolutely nuts. We’ll figure something out - maybe impose on my other aunt for longer if necessary, maybe rent some crappy place for 3-4 months before a more permanent decision and then go sign a lease somewhere better. That’s going to be the part that sucks the most.

This woman is just awful.
She's being mean and controlling just to be mean and controlling.

His grandmother and I are making efforts to get him out of the house he lives in as much as possible right now before background checks and such are complete and he can come stay with me for at least 6 months. His legal guardian denied his grandmother taking him out yesterday or today for Family Day Long Weekend simply to be controlling - not because she had any plans. She stated her intent was to tell him he could stay in his room. I texted and asked if I could take him out with his cousin yesterday to play video games, bbq lunch, and go visit my father who's in failing health - no reply so I stopped by there with his cousin and they were outside just getting in a vehicle to run some errand and she told me he has plans to do chores. Which was an obvious lie, she's just trying to be mean to him because she's upset that she's losing control of things. This woman is seriously cartoonishly mean and controlling like Cinderella's stepmother or something.

We're not sure if she'll settle down and do the right thing by him and sign him back into Ministry care so he can live with me, or if she'll insist he come back to her home after she completes half a year of counselling. If the latter, and I Know he won't want to be there (I wouldn't either) because she runs her house like it's a jail for kids, then I can foresee a scenario where things will end up in family court in order to have him removed from her care -> which she may realize would look bad for her foster care record so might not force that move I dunno. No matter what though, this woman is not going to make any of this a simple easy process just for the sake of sabre rattling to declare "who's boss and who calls the shots and decide's what's what." The worst part of all of that is the stress it's putting on him - he's 14, this has been his home for a decade and was supposed to be his family.. but now he realizes her relationship with him is very transactional (money coming in!) and has heard her state she doesn't want him living there anymore.

This woman might just dig in her heels and make moves to cost the rest of us time and money for no good reason other than being an awful human being. My hope is that when the dust settles, whether it's in weeks or several months from now, that he comes to live with me And this woman has her foster-jail shut down in a forced retirement move. All of those kids deserve better.

This cartoonishly mean woman now won’t allow him to come and live with me for 6 months while she gets counselling. She also won’t allow him to see his grandmother or me.

I still have diabetes care training scheduled at the childrens hospital next week. He should be attending with me on the 2nd day and we can actually talk then.

This woman is doing this to be controlling & to punish him and also his grandmother and myself. I can foresee a situation where things may end up escalating to family court.

She’s used to dealing with people who give up and give in to her controlling ways. She’s about to learn a few lessons about me and his grandmother.

On the bright side, she may have just saved everyone 6 months’ time by forcing this situation half a year sooner - so that’s potentially a win.

I just saw this whole thread. I hope it turns out well for you and the child.

I spent about six years raising a child not my own, and the custody/guardianship battles were gut wrenching for me. That said, raising her for six years brought tremendous joy into my life.

I hope he brings you joy as well.

I’m sure it’ll work out something similar over here for us. Just a matter of time & whatever process has to happen.

His legal guardian changed her mind and won't allow him to stay with me for 6 months while she gets counselling. (Which changed from take him permanently asap or she's dropping him off at the hospital and leaving him there.)

And now she's actively preventing him from seeing me and his grandmother. Moments ago she told his grandmother to come pick him up - she can't, she has other plans and the woman didn't reply to her or I days ago except to say No we couldn't see him. So it was relayed to me to go pick him up - no problem. I texted, she said no they have plans - which I know for a fact that they do not.

She doesn't want him to see me because she knows I'm not stupid and know damned well that the way she's operating her foster household is straight up abusive/illegal. She's about to learn how persistent I am. Time to do some legal reading and then file formal complaints about child protection - and then will likely come a swift investigation and HOPEFULLY a child removal so we don't have to play her BS games for months. And in a perfect world the other foster kids she has will be removed as well - they deserve better, too.

Just spent 42 minute on the phone with child protection services telling them everything I know about what’s wrong in that household and how he and other kids are being treated.

Best case he doesn’t have to live there anymore. Bare minimum he’s going to have a better life because social workers will ensure he has communication and visitation with his extended family that’s been denied for 10+ years - and especially the last few weeks 100% cutoff and isolated from all of his biological family.

I really hope that this unpleasant woman decides she doesn’t want to interact with his family even at an arms length and decides to just retire. Time will tell what happens.

She’s still being an atrocious witch and not allowing any family visitation at all. Birthdays, Easter, movie, Canucks game, Mothers Day etc - “No. All visits cancelled for a while sorry” is approx what she says every time.

With reports that have been filed I’m sure she’s being investigated & there’s still a good chance that sometime this summer I’ll be moving & have a teenaged roommate to keep alive while
he finishes high school. I don’t see how the ministry can allow her to carry on mistreating children and their families - so kinda get the sense they may force her into retirement soon. That’s the hope, anyways.

Here we are 5 months later and this cruel woman still hasn't allowed him to see his grandmother or any family at all for the last 5 months. I messaged her today for the first time in a few weeks to invite him to one of our aunts' 90th birthday parties next weekend where almost all of the family will be gathering. She replied and said he'll be at camp - different than her standard "sorry, all visits have been cancelled for a while." He says he hasn't heard about any camping trip, so it Could be that they're going to her cabin/trailer at a lake Or more likely she's just lying so I won't ask again about it. So crazy.

We Think that social workers are investigating her foster home and are likely to shut her money making operation down sometime this Summer. We hope so, anyways. Timing wise it'd make sense.. no kids in school to disrupt the school year etc. Shut down the $$$$ maker kids and then she won't have the financial incentive to hang onto him and be cruel to his family anymore, then maybe she'll let him go.

Their 6 months of counselling is almost up, too. If she talks to counsellors like she did to social workers then she might fail the counselling sessions and be deemed unfit to raise kids. Dunno/time will tell.

He'd 14 now and old enough to advocate for himself and tell them what he wants and they have to listen. We're not sure if he IS advocating for himself or if he's too afraid to do so because she has him so controlled and manipulated, he worries about her getting mad. Very sure part of why she won't let him see family is because she knows we'll tell him he can advocate for himself and get what he wants. Really, who cares if she gets mad ?? you won't live there anymore, kid.. so you won't be there to hear her yell, rant & rave about whatever crazy BS she has going on in her 71 year old cruel old lady mind.

We're truly hoping that all of this is merely a matter of time, and hopefully a short time vs. long time.. that this transition happens this Summer, before the beginning of the next school year.. that he comes to live with me temporarily where I live now until we can find a place to rent near his high school - which we'd move to the MUCH NICER area on the other side of his high school to where he lives now.. where homes are nicer, there's nicer parks and a huge forested area for hiking & biking - one of my all time favourite neighbourhoods in the entire region. I used to live there once for 13 months and would gladly go sign a lease for a basement suite there 1/2 way between the school and the park - just has to have in suite laundry and 2 bedrooms; everything else is fluff.

The more time that passes and the more I realize just how atrocious this woman is the more I'm looking forward to a massive change in living situation & lifestyle - because I KNOW that I can do faaaaaaar better for him. He'll have a life, go places, see things, do things, learn skills, see family etc vs. the extremely strict and sheltered conditions he's living under now. C'mmmoooooon social workers.. work your magic and make the rest of this process happen already so we can all move one!