Anyone got a magic 8 ball to shake??

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goldfish21
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23 Jan 2023, 11:01 pm

Was a good visit.. but ofc, the plot thickens.

Very emotional reunion for his grandmother. Good visit, though. Discussed the ongoing situation, relayed some critical info to him, gave him the social workers' phone numbers as he didn't have them and is awaiting a call to schedule a meeting but can call them himself if he wants etc. Dropped some knowledge he def needs to know.

Also, he told us that for all this time - 10/11 years - his foster mother has told him that the reason he only gets to see his grandparents once a month is that they say they're busy and don't want to see him more often. Whoa. She lies to everyone to minimize any work she might have to do, so it's no surprise she lied to him, too. His grandparents were floored by that one - they constantly tried to get additional visitation but had to deal with her rules and bs not knowing that her rules were NOT the government's rules AT ALL. Obviously some upset people by that revelation.

Agree with my aunt, he's gotten to know me and trust me now - which is good, because if he does come to live with me then he needs to know I'm not some psycho or violent or whatever. He's realizing his extended family all around here are all good decent people with educations, jobs, businesses etc not a bunch of scumbags or undesirable homes to live at or visit. Different situation for kids reluctant to leave a bad place because they might be getting sent somewhere worse so they stay with the evil they know.

Exchanged a couple more messages after I'd dropped him off near home and now no reply soooo dunno if he still has his phone. His message to me was that he got in and she said she "knows he went and ate with goldfish's-name." It's possible she suspected he might try to visit his family and was doing a little surveillance of her own. But she never mentioned his grandparents so doesn't know they were there, or didn't indicate it. I think he said something about her being mad and I said who cares ? Let her lose her mind, ignore her, contact your worker and talk to them etc. He only has to stay living there until he decides to demand change or leave, so we'll see what he decides to do.

My aunt, his grandmother, figures that woman will be steaming mad for a month. Good - sit and stew about it. How messed up is it that a teenager has to sneak around to visit his grandmother that he hasn't seen for a year because his "legal guardian," is an unpleasant woman who refuses to treat kids and their families properly? Just gross. Maybe this whole fiasco, reunion visit, and fallout will spark something in him to stop putting up with her bs & call his social worker to talk about changing things up.

So now I dunno if he still has his phone. She might have taken it from him to prevent any wifi communications with his family because she's just cruel like that. Whatever - I've already emailed him a handful of pertinent phone numbers and he can either check the email on his laptop or at school. She can Try to isolate him from his family 100% to protect her little revenue sources, but she's not all that internet savvy and can't stop emails or other messages that he can receive at school.

Time will tell what happens next and when. Hopefully it's not too much time, though. Hopefully things can change for the better for this kid and he can get outta there and see his family whenever he wants and wash his hands of her absurd rules. He's gotta be the one to make those decisions, though.


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FletcherArrow
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24 Jan 2023, 10:11 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Could really use some answers.

Like, if I choose option A, how's that going to turn out in the long run? For me, for others.

And if I choose option B, how's that going to turn out?

Or C/something in between, again, how's that going to turn out?

With no or crystal ball, or even just a magic 8 ball, it's all just pure guesswork and speculation. I could make what I think is a good decision and have it go to absolute s**t, or I could choose something else that's more of a gamble and it could turn out just fine.. or every other possible combination. And of course I'm talking about much more complicated human factor stuff than run of the mill purchase decisions or whatever. Just reeeeeeeallly wishing I had some way of knowing how things might play out if I made certain choices or others - would make the whole decision making process a heck of a lot easier.


You worry too much. There is no perfect choice. Just commit to a path and stop feeling as if you need to know the end result of a string of choices before you make that first choice.



goldfish21
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24 Jan 2023, 2:12 pm

FletcherArrow wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Could really use some answers.

Like, if I choose option A, how's that going to turn out in the long run? For me, for others.

And if I choose option B, how's that going to turn out?

Or C/something in between, again, how's that going to turn out?

With no or crystal ball, or even just a magic 8 ball, it's all just pure guesswork and speculation. I could make what I think is a good decision and have it go to absolute s**t, or I could choose something else that's more of a gamble and it could turn out just fine.. or every other possible combination. And of course I'm talking about much more complicated human factor stuff than run of the mill purchase decisions or whatever. Just reeeeeeeallly wishing I had some way of knowing how things might play out if I made certain choices or others - would make the whole decision making process a heck of a lot easier.


You worry too much. There is no perfect choice. Just commit to a path and stop feeling as if you need to know the end result of a string of choices before you make that first choice.

TLDR the thread, I see.

Going from single carefree guy with only myself to be responsible for to moving in with a type 1 diabetic 15 year old would be a huge change for both of us, so yeah, I’ve given a lot of thought to how I’ll manage this if it comes to fruition.

It’s been about a full year of this situation being in limbo. But yesterday was eventful and it’s inching ever closer to this actually happening - to the 15yo in question forcing it to happen so he can get away from where he’s living and be able to see his grandparents & cousins again etc.

Time will tell, but after yesterday, maybe not that much time anymore. Could be days/weeks vs months even. And then I’ll have to look for a place to rent and adjust my daily routine & life to Godfather mode when I’m not at work or the beach. Cooking, homework, life & work skills teaching, family visits, sports/outings etc - all the stuff people Should be doing for/with a 15yo while playing catch up on the things he’s been denied learning where he’s lived for 11 years.


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goldfish21
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02 Feb 2023, 8:51 pm

Hmm - kid didn’t know that I’m his and his sister’s and cousin’s Godfather until
I brought it up in a chat the other day. I guess it’s never been a relevant thing for his grandparents to bring up ever.

Still waiting on him to decide when he’s had enough of living there and make a
phone call and some demands for change - his call. But I think he’s inching closer to it.

Probably mostly just anxiety about change. He said so a bit before I dropped him off last. Been making an effort to let him know he can ask whatever questions he has about me/change etc to make it as smooth as it can be. Plus he knows he’ll be with family and get to see his family etc vs going to some unknown group home to potentially get smacked around or something. But still, it’s a big change for a 15yo who’s likely mildly on the spectrum and has only known his current home of the last 11 years.


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goldfish21
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10 Feb 2023, 1:16 pm

Chats with him have been progressive I think. I think he's getting more comfortable with the idea of change, accepting that it'll be a Lot all at once but then things will be fine - like transitioning from elementary school to high school.. anxiety, change, but then everything works out and life goes on. I've pointed those things out to him, and that all of this is for Him as I'm quite content to carry on with my comfortable life lol but I'll make the changes I have to For Him so that he has a better upbringing and future and gets to see his family whenever he wants. He knows all of this and is appreciative - I think he's just not Quite ready to either make a phone call and demands Or walk out the door just yet.. but, I think he's growing ever closer and it could be a matter of days/weeks vs. months. But who knows, up to Him and when he's ready. I think that time is growing sooner, though.

Just my luck he'll make a phone call and have a meeting and get the ball rolling right at a time when I'm extremely busy vs. slacking at home for sure. :lol: Luckily my parents and his grandparents are retired and will be able to assist with driving and such if there's no bus option to get to school on time until we're able to go rent a place within walking distance of his school. And then we may have to move a couple times - find anything available month to month, then find a long term place if there isn't one available when we're looking.

And who knows, maybe he'll ride out the rest of the school year - but I dunno - that's still like 5 months, damned near half a year of wasted time and opportunity. I'm gonna point that out to him as I have many other things. Maybe I'll flat out ask him if he's feeling ready for change yet ? If so, encourage him to make a phone call and leave a message for his worker sooner rather than later as he'll still have to wait for a meeting and other things to happen before he can leave via official channels. I've also stressed that if he wants out of there and they don't let him leave by their processes and paperwork ways, he has the option of just grabbing a few things and walking out the door and never going back. All of his worldly possessions can be replaced for a couple thousand dollars or so so whatever in the grand scheme of life if you don't want to keep living there it's your choice just leave - no kid that's ever run away from that foster home has ever been made to go back, including his sister. So, he knows it's His choice -> it's the whole leaving all he's ever known thing that has him hesitant. Of course I've assured him he's never going to a group home, he'll live with me and life will be fine vs. living with someone that might smack him around or something.

I think all of this is only a matter of time.. I encourage him to make his move if he's ready because for his sake sooner is better. But I'm also a bit concerned for the work it's going to take in the very beginning - mostly looking for a place to rent. That's such a giant pita here that people end up homeless. We won't, but it's still a b***h trying to rent a place to live.


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goldfish21
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25 Apr 2023, 6:41 pm

Situation is ongoing. His extended fam believes his best option is to peace out of the abusive home he's in and live with me, but he's too afraid of change to make the leap. He was more comfortable with it when we were visiting regularly a year ago, but his abuser has isolated him completely from his family for over a year now in order to make him uncomfortable with leaving.

His phone screen smashed so I messaged with him about getting in fixed + a case. Case arrived in the mail. Hoping he agrees to meetup sometime during the day very soon to take care of it as he wants his phone back working. That will be an opportunity to have a heart to heart convo with him about a whole bunch of things and give him a lot of info to think about. Might be able to meet up with his grandparents/aunt and others as well - maybe - if he's into it and they're all available to come meet up during the window he can get away for.

Wish this situation would just evolve and move forward so I *also* have some sort of certainty in what my life and living situation is going to be like vs. this perpetual holding pattern of maaaaaybe things are about to change. Creates some frustrations & stresses for me vs. knowing what's gonna go down or not. I'm sure the kid has his own thoughts on all this too. I'm Hoping that input from various family members gives him the courage to take the leap and make a change as I'd rather do the work to raise a teenager than know he's being raised by a cruel woman that is Not raising him properly nor treating him or his family acceptably.


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goldfish21
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27 Apr 2023, 5:34 pm

Going to see the kid tmw to take him to get his smashed cell phone screen repaired. I’ll have him with me for a couple hours, talk to him about this stuff and a bunch of family stuff and take him for a quick visit to see my parents as my father is dying and would like to see him as he’s seen other family and friends coming and going for visits.

From his few msgs, obvi he is not happy in his current living situation and lives in fear of her screaming and yelling and other cruel abusive things. I told him I have a bunch of written notes about things I wanna tell him/talk to him about so I don’t forget anything important that’s best said in person.

Cliff notes I’m encouraging him to make a move that changes his whole life for the better forever. He’s just afraid of change - big time - aspie trait for sure. Sad that he chooses abuse for familiarity’s sake.

Going to tell him about other family members who had difficulty leaving abusive situations in the past etc so we comprehend it’s not easy, but because of the laws the way they are, we can’t drag him away from a bad situation. He has to have the balls to free himself and then we got him from that point forward & forever if he needs - he could live with me for decades if he wants.

Anyways, good vibes/prayers and such appreciated. :)


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goldfish21
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28 Apr 2023, 12:27 pm

T-minus 30 mins to shave/shower & gtfo of here and pick up the kid from school to take him to get his phone fixed and talk family biz + bring him to see his aunt, my brother, his great aunt, maybe his grandmother if she's over, and my dad before he dies. Quick 5-10min visit tho as he wants to be back at school to finish a project And more importantly in time before the wicked woman he lives with finds out he's gone out as he knows she'll blow her top and scream and yell something awful if she knew he visited his family. One of many reasons we're trying to get him outta there.


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goldfish21
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28 Apr 2023, 4:27 pm

Meeting went about as good as possible. Plenty of good convos about the situation, his health/happiness, personal growth, life skills & future as well as family etc. He knows I/we are right and want what’s best for him it’s just hard to make decisions and do things especially when you’ve been conditioned Not to be empowered to make a n y decisions for yourself. But I think he’s there and as ready as he’s gonna be!

I think he’s had enough of the abuse & BS where he lives and will follow through with making phone calls in a couple weeks to get the ball rolling on leaving that place and living with me after the end of the school year.

We talked about a smooth gradual transition plan that he can tell his social workers he wants and they should work towards accommodating it. I also prepared him for the possibility that the cruel woman where he lives now might tell him to GTFO immediately once she learns he’s decided he wants to leave and live with family instead of being isolated to her cruelty and abuse - in which case, grab your clothes and insulin and laptop etc and leave. Would be a bit of an abrupt change vs mature adults being cooperative, but if she forces things to be that way, then it is what it is just do it.

I told him I’ll follow up with him about him making a couple phone calls to get the ball rolling before the last minute as it’s gonna take workers time to arrange meetings and conduct their background checks and home visits etc. He said he’ll call in two weeks. That’s plenty of time to sleep on it, think about it, talk it over with your close friends or counsellor etc and then do it. And I know just like school work or anything else people have 2 weeks to do you won’t do much until the last minute then I’ll bug ya just tp get on with it and get it done. He knows that’s how it’ll go, too.

He also decided that he IS going to come to his cousin’s 16th birthday party next month. He’s missed out on a lot of family occasions, including his brother’s wedding, over the last year and he’s done with missing everyone and everything. Says he’ll walk out of the house that day and text me for a ride - easier to just Do in the moment vs that cruel woman having advanced notice because then she’ll rant and rave and scream and yell and be nasty as well as make sure they go to her little trailer on a lake an hour and a bit drive away just to be cruel and make sure he can’t go to his cousin’s birthday. (If they happen to be at the lake, I’ll drive there and pick him up if he’s determined to come see his cousin & he knows it - his grandmother would, too.)


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goldfish21
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30 Apr 2023, 3:35 am

One thing he said is he'd prefer we had our own place vs. roommates. But looking at rentals available that might not be possible to get what I/we want/need. 2 bedroom bsmt suites in the area have gone from $1600 to $2200-2300 over the last year or so - but entire houses are still renting for a similar price as last year. I don't want just a bsmt suite, ideally, because I need garage space for tools/sporting goods/motorcycle etc. In order to get that you have to rent a house.. and then the odds of finding a full house for rent with a 2nd kitchen in order to have 2 separate living quarters is very, very, slim in that neighbourhood.

IMO, the most important part is that he's out of his current living arrangement this Summer and with me or his grandmother or between the two of us for the Summer etc and I'm Hoping he then becomes a little flexible on living arrangements and is cool with having another couple people share a kitchen with us. If It's a roomie situation, everyone has to pass Ministry of Family and Social Services background checks (interview, criminal background check) to ensure there are no violent/sex crime criminals living with kids in care, so at least there would be no convicted dirtbags. Plus we could interview people and find the right fit - maybe a couple quiet students, maybe a single father, maybe a couple single working guys etc. I'm just really hoping that he's flexible on that and agrees that it'd be okay living with others so long as they're the Right Fit (and if they're not I kick them out and interview someone else) and he gets Most of the things he wants: Peace and quiet, no yelling, no idiots/criminal types etc. Hell, maybe we'll get some foreign students that are super quiet studying types - they come here to learn English and get Canadian educations and are typically extremely respectful tenants/roommates that come from good families.

Basement suite with no garage no parking no laundry is like $2200, but a 4 bedroom house is $3500 and sometimes you can get a 5 bedroom house for $3500-3800 (+ utilities) w/ 2 car garage etc etc. Get a couple roomies at approx $1100 including utilities and now for less than the price of a basement suite we get the garage space, deck, parking, laundry etc.

I guess one of the first things I may have to teach him is about compromises, sacrifices, economics, rent hacking etc.. heh something like that. He's 15 - I know he WANTS our own space, but I think he'll understand if we have to share it with other humans in order to make things work. At least we can work together on the criteria for roomies and get a couple that are practically ghosts.. which is why I think maybe foreign students might be our best bet. MOST of them are so super quiet - all they do is study for the most part, barely make a sound, never cause problems or have loud music or parties or get wasted drunk etc. Just respectful people quietly doing their thing and you almost don't know they're even there.

- no one's reading this, but sometimes it's just beneficial to get something off my mind and "onto paper," just to think it through and clear my head and be able to sleep/move on etc sooo, my diary I guess.


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30 Apr 2023, 4:42 am

All the best - hope it all works out relatively smoothly. The sooner he doesn't need to see that abusive old woman's face the better.


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goldfish21
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30 Apr 2023, 10:42 am

envirozentinel wrote:
All the best - hope it all works out relatively smoothly. The sooner he doesn't need to see that abusive old woman's face the better.

Thanks & yes, agreed. Not see her face nor hear her voice or fear her wrath when she loses it over whatever - something as simple as the kid wanting to visit his grandmother.

It's a Million little things I can't quite put my finger on and neither of us can identify because we don't know what we don't know.. it's those Million little things that will change that'll add up to BIG changes in him and the rest of his life.

Over a year ago when we were having visits because he was going to come live with me, we got to conversations over dinner where he'd start asking questions like "Is this normal?" and give an example.. umm, no - no it isn't. Most people's families and homes don't operate like that. Just every little thing that she has Complete Control over in these kids' lives that results in their development being stunted and the kids unable to make decisions for themselves about anything because they've never been told they're allowed to - only conditioned to know what she let them know about anything.

One specific example was that I commented that he was awfully quiet at the dinner table.. - oh - because they're not allowed to speak while they eat, ever, because the woman is a germophobe and if a child speaks they might spit in her food.. so it's forbidden. Ummm, that's not normal.. I explained that the world over people have busy lives with work and school and maybe business or farm work or volunteering or whatever but when it comes time for an evening meal, people tend to gather together, eat, drink, and talk about their day, maybe about their plans for tmw etc - people have conversations during meals vs. an expectation to eat in silence or be yelled at. Wtf.

Was also glad I asked him if he talks about any of this stuff with any close friends - yes - a couple of them.. and what do they say? Sounds like you're happy and healthy and should stay exactly where you are ? "No." So what do they say? "That I should leave." There ya go bud, your friends that care about you recognize that this isn't good for you and realize from what you tell them that you have a better option and are telling you to go for it, too. I've never met these kids, but clearly they're not stupid and have his best interests in mind when responding to him about this stuff - which is good. (Kid's sister met one of them, said he's nice, bright kid maybe a bit of a nerd lol but that's a good thing. Don't need trouble maker friends. Same same for the kid's cousin who's about to turn 16 - he saw enough real gangster s**t with his mom's life before she passed away.. glad he's a straight A student gunning for scholarships instead of a s**t head! Will be good to have these kids together - take them hiking, biking, snowboarding, to concerts etc.)


Yadda yadda maybe we'll all get lucky and her number comes up on God's *smiting* list real soon.. *smite smite* o noes, something bad couldn't have happened to a better person.. guess we don't have to deal with her anymo'. Heh.

Anywho, for his sake, I hope this all happens on the timeline he says he's comfortable with & I look forward to the next time I see the Indigenous social worker at BC Children's Hospital who's name I forget right now so that I can remind him what I told him about this whole thing over a year ago: "She will learn; I am Very persistent.[/u]"


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goldfish21
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22 Jun 2023, 5:06 pm

Still an ongoing situation with no particular resolution yet.. but my aunt told me about an indication that this one may have already made a decision that he's leaving his crappy home life sometime after the end of the school year - so could happen in a couple weeks or so. Time will tell.

Interesting plot twist: Seems I may end up with TWO teenagers soon.. this one's first cousin, as well, who just turned 16 and is also one of my Godsons. He's been staying at my aunt's, his grandmothers, for a couple weeks as his a-hole dad is a jerk of an alcoholic, makes it known he never wanted another kid, and punched him in the face a couple weeks back. So, we told him he doesn't have to go back there. He can stay at his grandmothers or aunt's and quite likely with me and his cousin long term.

At least if things go that route they'll BOTH have better lives and if I have to make some time sacrifices it's twice as worth it to give two kids good lives at the same time vs. one. Ain't much harder to cook for 3 than it is for 2 kinda deal. Plus the slightly older one is very mature and hella smart (straight A student) and it'd enable me to go out a bit more for a bit longer and not worry about not having another human around to monitor blood sugars of the diabetic one.


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23 Jun 2023, 5:51 pm

For the slightly older just turned 16yo one that's now in the mix:

My aunt, his grandmother, asked if I would take my truck and go with him to his dad's place to get a few things to move out of there - longboard, bike, clothes, nicknacks, picutres, blanket etc while his dad's at work. Yeah, no problem. Updated request - grab his bed frame.. ok - but not the new just delivered mattress.. umm why? It's HIS mattress and his dad sent a text saying that His bed had arrived = written evidence that it belongs to the kid, so, we're taking it, too.

My mom asked me if I'm comfortable going there doing that while he's at work - we'll have 3 hours or so and should be done in less than half the time especially if I enlist another pair of hands. Of course I'm fine with it.. I told her if he shows up I'll tell him if he touches me he's going to jail, and if he touches him I'll break his f*****g legs. 8) He won't do s**t To ME. He's over 50 years old and has recently had his knees replaced and recovered from that. He's fairly fit - plumber, works out etc - but like any bully he's going to bully down, he's not going to tangle with someone that could f**k him up.

Just gotta arrange either a second pickup truck OR rent a larger moving truck and get the logistics sorted out so we can do a quick grab & move midday before the jerk gets home.


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24 Jun 2023, 1:41 pm

My aunt told me the younger one got yelled at by the nasty horrible woman for sneaking out to visit his family a couple Saturday’s ago but he said he didn’t care. I don’t Think he said he didn’t care just because it was worth it to see his family, I Think he didn’t care because he’s just so done with her and is likely to decide to leave soon - that’s the hope, anyways.

She had asked me about moving, renting a place etc as the other one wants to know if I’m actually gonna do it. (Big changes, big money.. it’s going to cost me about $10k to rent a house.) I told her if I’m gonna go rent a house in the other one’s neighbourhood then it hinges on him leaving the witches’ place and he doesn’t communicate much so dunno for sure on that.

She told me she texted with him and he said they’re going camping for the July long wknd (first wknd) and she told him to take the plunge and move with us and that we need a decision so we can shop for a home and that she wants to know his decision after the long wknd.

So, time will tell if he’s ready to leave. Maybe he will because his cousin is doing the same thing. I don’t think he fully grasps that lives are up in the air nor how expensive and difficult it is to find a place to rent and that it could take months to even find an appropriate place.. and if his cousin is moving we gotta know which school to register him in etc etc. I really don’t think he grasps that his indecisiveness is putting lives on hold and that we Need to know if he’s gonna leave so we can all make plans and moves.

I Know he’s not happy there, so I Hope he decides to leave and Hope that his cousin doing similar gives him the push to do it. I get the sense he may be ready if he didn’t care about getting yelled at.. because he hates yelling and if he was gonna stay there another few years he’d care that she was mad and yelling as he’d be anxious about it continuing. IMO, but I’m no mind reader and don’t know what he’ll decide when for sure.


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31 Jul 2023, 11:27 am

Not the outcomes anyone in the family wanted:

The main subject of this thread has apparently decided to stay in the very strange neglectful home he was raised in until he's at least finished high school - which is nuts. If I were him I would be so angry at that woman for destroying his childhood and preventing him from knowing his family/cousins etc that I might just light the place on fire on my way out the door. He says she says she won't scream and yell for days if he visits his family so he's okay with staying there.. which is bs - she's a manipulative control freak and bs'ing him so he doesn't leave during summer break. I explained to him months ago that she's isolating him from his family in classic abuser style so he no longer feels comfortable leaving - and apparently it's worked. Now all we can hope for is that her 4-5 pack/day smoking habit kills her in her sleep or something.




The other one is a pretty smart kid, but, lately has shown he can be a real a-hole and super humanly LAZY *and* has decided to make some sh***y decisions. He hung up on me the last time we spoke because I told him I wouldn't go look at a motorcycle for sale with him because he's not ready for one yet.. he only has about half the required budget, doesn't have riding lessons or a licence or safety gear, a place to park it etc. I told him it's nice to be excited about a goal, but he's got to work towards it and have more $ on hand than is minimally required so he's not flat broke after paying for a bike, taxes, gear, lessons, insurance etc because tires cost $800/pair, maintenance costs $150/hr for a typical cost of $900-1100 for a full service tune up.. etc. He hasn't spoken to me since but has "reacted," to a couple memes I sent.

He's been staying at his grandparents for a couple months. His grandmother told me I didn't Have To uproot my life to look after him, that she would keep him there, and I could take him for a weekend or week here and there so no one gets too overwhelmed. That would work - especially since the only way I could do it would be by taking on an immense amount of responsibility by renting a whole house, moving, subletting rooms to international students or something to make ends meet and managing an entire household, bills, tenants etc because rent prices have shot up astronomically lately. So I'd have to take on a bunch of other roles just to make it feasible - on top of Godfather duties of raising a teenager, plus work/life etc.

He f****d off for a few days last week, no calls/texts. Did it again the past few days and when he contacted his grandmother he said his friend's parents said he can live with them until he finishes high school. That's tbd. Reason? He's too lazy to walk anywhere, take a bus, clean his own room or bathroom so wants to live somewhere where there's a housewife mother that dotes on her kid. Apparently he had to walk several blocks to a grocery store and said he was never doing it again. And if he doesn't get approved for registration in a different high school he refuses to take a city bus to school daily. Like wtf ? This is not a part of the world with slaves & servants. Get off your ass and take a walk, hop a bus, ride your mountain bike or bmx (he has both), and do what you have to do until you earn and can afford more convenient transportation. Acting like a total spoiled brat.

Apparently he played the sympathy card at his friend's place.. my died, dad's a drunk wah wah I'm depressed. Ok, those things happened. It's been years. Move on. Appreciate what you have, don't dwell on what you don't. But ya apparently he played that stuff up for his friend's mom, neglecting to tell her the reason he wants to live there is so he can get away with doing as little as humanly possible, get driven around, and never have to lift a finger to help out cleaning or cooking etc. Lazy to the extreme - NOT like his mom. (So lazy he won't cook himself anything to eat and has been burning through money ordering uber eats at like $50/meal delivered.)

I predict that if he moves to his friend's place he'll wear out his welcome and end up back at his grandparents, hopefully next time with a better attitude and willingness to listen and learn. I REALLY hope that his moving around and burning bridges doesn't f**k up his grades - that's one thing he's put an effort into and is on track to do quite well with. Thing is we'd have encouraged him to use his brain, not threatened and forced him to like his dad did.



*sigh* Stupid kids don't know what they're throwing away in their decisions tbh. Next chance I get I'll be telling each of them that as much as I can without having either of them get upset and never speak to me again. They're both mildly on the spectrum like the rest of that side of the family and thus it's a part of their immature decision making processes.

Ah well, in the meantime I had a half a year off work, back into things a bit now, gonna spend some time kiteboarding before the end of the season.. and then I think this fall/winter I'm gonna double down on doing as much work as I can to make some $ again while still living cheap. These two will have to make their own mistakes and live by them. At least, for now, I don't have to have the anxiety of wondering if my life and living situation is about to change up big time. I can just do my thing and be a text away if they wanna talk.


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No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.