It’s hard to get people to do stuff with me

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A common occurrence of the recent past for me has been not having anyone to go to places with that I wanna go to, despite now having 4 different clusters of friends. I have been able to get people to do some things with me, most notably go to a place here in Iowa called Adventureland and got another friend to go to the state fair with me last summer. But there’s other places I want to go to with friends, such as:

Mall Of America in Minnesota

The Wisconsin Dells

Go see Cubs, Bulls and Bears games in Chicago or when they go play in other big cities in the Midwest.

I want to go to concerts, like Bon Jovi, who’s gonna be on tour this year.

I went to see Bon Jovi with my mom 4 years ago and I went to a couple Cubs games and a Bulls game with my dad this past year, but as I get older I don’t want to have to keep relying on them for company to big events like that. Back in September I sent a text to one of the group chats I’m in about going to see a Bears or Bulls game and I got left on read. I wouldn’t be mad at people for not being able to afford that but I will feel annoyed when I don’t get any responses. Regarding the other things, I just don’t have a good feeling about getting pretty much any of my friends to do any of that with me.

Recently, a cool venue that has bowling, escape rooms and really cool arcade games(including virtual reality stuff)recently opened in my town and is definitely much cheaper than those other things. I sent a text to the same group chat that ignored me back in September; and I got ignored again!

No one in another group chat showed any interest in going there. My cousin hasn’t responded. Another friend of mine somehow thinks that he won’t be able to go there until summer because He likes to focus on school and do way too much homework/studying than I’m sure he needs to.

I feel especially bothered that it’s hard for me to get friends to go to local places! Let alone places in different states. I feel like I’m missing out on those things bc of it. Having a girlfriend could help with that as well.

I've never had “four clusters” of friends in my entire life.

Sorry you’re having trouble getting people to go places with you. I can relate to the frustration.

But, really, you’re not doing too bad at all.

Better than me, in fact.

Travel is a big commitment. That's something you do with the closest of friends.

Most social circles of more than a few people have both semi-public and fully private events. That is, they'll have parties or other gatherings where they'll post notice someplace, and anyone is welcome to show up. Mostly it will only be people in the circle who are interested, but no matter how loosely you are associated, or how you found them, if you are in the circle, you are welcome to show up. But the private events, the ones that members arrange in private conversations, will be open to you only if you are privy to these conversations. That is, if you are a close friend to them.

I'm always excluded from those private gatherings.

If I wanted to have even just a conversation with someone, there are just a few people on the whole f*****g planet who wouldn't feel imposed upon, and only about three people who would actually appreciate the call. Only one of whom appreciate it enough to initiate it more than rarely.