Would you rather be right or keep a friend ?

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kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2022, 7:53 am

It’s difficult to really offer suitable advice without the existence of specific context.

What are you “right” about?

aghogday
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03 Mar 2022, 11:52 am

Fnord wrote:

Truth is both absolute and constant; friends are not.

Yawn, SO CALLED FACTS AND TRUTH
OF SCIENCE Are PROVEN IRREFUTABLY

FALSE, OVER AND OVER AGAIN; Hmm,

A SUGGESTION THAT TRUTH IS BOTH
ABSOLUTE AND CONSTANT IS AS SENSICAL

AS SUGGESTING

CHANGE ISN'T THE
REALITY OF EXISTENCE NOW.

For Instance, 'Mr. Engineer', i Am
Reminded of Your Previous Statements
of Belief that A Man Actually Arose From
The Dead And Is Actually God Incarnate;

Well, It's True, i Don't See Any Need for
The Dead to Come Back to Life As We
Seem to Be Part of All that is Eternally

Now; Begotten From the Origin of All
That is, At Least, According to Scientific
Observations, Hypotheses, And Fact Finding

Missions, So Far; So, So Far, in 'This Sense' We Exist Forevermore now...

As Scientist Carl Sagan, So Poetically Spoke, We aRe the Cosmos Unto Itself; And It's

True This Excites me So Much; ALL That is Real and True As Far As Science Shows Now

At Least, i Wanna

Go Out like Scientist

'Neil deGrasse Tyson' And

Shake UP the Consciousness of
Folks More Wide Awake Exclaiming

"HAVE YOU HEARD THIS!" Good News!

oF All ToGeTHeRNeSS NoW; God Yes, For Real

NoW, We ALL Arise From Star Dust Atoms of Various
Star Systems Now, and the Iron that Flows Through
Our Blood and At Core of Earth Construction comes

From the Gaseous
Star Dust Left-Overs
From Super Nova Explosions;

Yet It's True, When i Speak this Particular
So-Called Truth So Far; It Doesn't Ring True

To those Who Find THeir Truths in Some other
Narrative of Thousands of Year-Old Stories in Another

Big
Black
or Other
Coloring Life Book....

Change Now is 'All
That Is' (God) Absolute Truth

So Far at Least With SMiLES; Yes,

Like Carl Sagan Suggested, the
Only Thing that Makes Life Really
Worth Living is Our Connections to Others;

So, i don't Stand Up in Church And Tell the Truth so Far;

i Just Replace

All the Non-Sense

With Love And Make
Some Folks SMiLe with
What they may Suggest is an
Angelic Sounding Dancing Singing Voice
from the Back Pew Row; When in 'Rome' Ya

Blend in Enough
With the 'Truth
of the Day' to

Survive and
Still Thrive;
Or Perhaps, Ya
Carry A Sour Frown
of What Ya Believe is the Truth,
Until Minutes Before Death ProvideS A Wish of a More Loving Life....

Of Course, it Depends on the So-Called Truth of the Existing Make and Model
And Mileage of
Being Human...

Some Days,

The Best

So-Called
Truths are Truly
Lies When it Comes to Success at least
For the Overall Human Condition For Real Now...

Yawn, i Keep my 'Campaigner' in my Left Shirt
Pocket and 'Diplomat' in my Right 'Shorts' Pocket;
True, There are No Pants in my World Since 2013;
Some of my Muslim Female FRiEnDS Have Shown
Distaste For Seeing my Legs; The Easy Solution is
Their Truth of Covering Up Remains Along with my 'Bear' Legs, hehe...

No Different than Church Really; Some Elderly Ladies Have Remarked
my Voice is So Deep and Sexy; While Others Have "Right Said Fred, You

Should Be Ashamed
Of Showing Off
Your Tan
Hairy Legs,"
In the Dead
of THeiR Winter;"
As It's Always Spring
For me Within Still Close to 62, With SMiLes;

Like i Dance And Sing, Mileage Varies Depending
on Make and Model of Being Human And Other 'Stars' too;

Or Similarly Like the Sociology of Aging Master's Level Teacher
At University Told me then; She Had Never Heard of 'Jack LaLanne'
And She Scoffed When i Said i Would Retain my Strength at age 23
Through Age 60; She Said It Just Wasn't Possible; Yawn, Fortunately,
i Didn't Specialize in Just one Field of Study; 3 Different Degrees Earned
in A Triple Major All
At Once,
Did Help
Lead to the
Empirically Measurable
Fact of Leg Pressing Up to
1520 Pounds Now; And Yes, 3 Times
Stronger Than the 500 Pounds, i Leg Pressed at age 23;
Yawn, It took me All the Way Until Age 53, to Start to Increase
That Feat That the Master's Level Sociology of Aging Teacher
Said was Scientifically Impossible then; Many of Our So-Called Truths

Are Still Also Based
on the So-Called
Science of What
Our Cultures Dictate
Of Human Limitations Still Now;
Some of Us Break Through the
Current Falsehoods Called Truth; Others do not.

There Are Different Ways to 'Move Mountains', With Belief or Not.

_________________
KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

Gravatar is one of the coolest things ever!! !

http://en.gravatar.com/katiemiafrederick

jimmyjazzuk
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03 Mar 2022, 1:28 pm

I did want generalised, intellectual answers for curiosity so thanks.

My particular situation is pretty mundane, not a debate or anything.

A friend and her sister ganged up on me and embarrassed me in 'public'. This is denied and I'm told not to take things too seriously. I am sensitive.

This got me frustrated to the point where I pretty much ended the friendship by stubbornly and, in hindsight, too aggressively asserting I was right. She is never wrong and never concedes an inch so I lost my cool.

I could have just left it and kept the friendship.

I was interested in what autistic people value more.

For me, I think it's integrity like someone mentioned. It's why I have very few friends!

jimmyjazzuk
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03 Mar 2022, 1:48 pm

Pepe wrote:

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Something I'm faced with at the moment!

But consider:
You can be both right and maintain a friendship by simply holding your council.
If you *must* force a perceived Truth on someone else, I question your own emotional development.

E.G.
Why is it so important you force a Truth on someone who may not be ready to accept it?
Are you engaging in a pattern of dominance to service your own selfish emotional needs?
Or do you lack an intrinsic self-confidence that causes you to doggedly defend your perception regardless of the emotional needs of the other person?

Because you haven't given a specific context, it is impossible to determine if my analysis has "hit the mark".

I don't know if you hit the mark with me, you can decide, but you definitely hit the mark with my brother and his political views!

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 9:23 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Pepe wrote:

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Something I'm faced with at the moment!

I don't know if you hit the mark with me, you can decide, but you definitely hit the mark with my brother and his political views!

I went with the "shotgun" approach.
I was sure to hit something.

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 9:27 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Most people don't admit when they are wrong.
*I* am not "most people".
Thankfully, I rarely do make a mistake. :mrgreen:

Regarding your ex-friend.
Is it possible for you to apologise for overreacting, even if she was in the wrong?
How long has it been?

jimmyjazzuk
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03 Mar 2022, 9:46 pm

I apologised for overreacting to her because I was upset and then she said I shouldn't have been upset and that I hurt her feelings and then we argued again and now we don't talk for a day or two. Last time this happened it took about 4 months to talk. Acted like nothing happened haha

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 10:05 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Give her a small present with a note saying "Sorry".
What do you think about that? :scratch:

auntblabby
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03 Mar 2022, 10:26 pm

keep the friend, far more precious than "being right." compared to the infinite truth, "being right" is akin to being "almost pregnant." friends are hard to come by in this hellworld.

auntblabby
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03 Mar 2022, 10:29 pm

i re-read what you said [speaking to OP here] about how your "friends" "ganged up" on you, and true friends [outside of an "intervention" do NOT "gang up" on innocents, so i am wondering if certain "friends" are really even friends, or more like "frenemies" which are less valuable.

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 11:00 pm

auntblabby wrote:

It is human nature to gang up on someone.
I should know.

AprilR
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03 Mar 2022, 11:08 pm

I don't know, i am going through a similar thing. Apparently i hurt their feelings or whatever because i refused to take a side in their fight.

Truth is not subjective, people's feelings about it are. And if they can't admit they are being immature when faced with the truth, it just makes them look childish.

jimmyjazzuk
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03 Mar 2022, 11:22 pm

They're sisters so they're going to naturally close ranks on me. I'm frustrated because they really embarrassed and humiliated me and then invalidated my feelings about it afterwards and even when I offer an olive branch of saying sorry for overreacting i get more invalidation and not even the slightest concession of wrong doing.

I feel pretty negatively about them but It's the first time they both come at me like that so I might leave it for a few weeks and if I feel any different about them I'll just come back like nothing happened.

Last edited by jimmyjazzuk on 03 Mar 2022, 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 11:24 pm

AprilR wrote:

For most NTs, personal/emotional support is more important than the Truth.

But I see the same thing happening on autistic websites also, perhaps not to the same degree.
I wasn't expecting that when I initially joined.

I am "The Oracle of Truth", so you can see my dilemma. :mrgreen:

Pepe
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03 Mar 2022, 11:29 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:

Give them the flick or perhaps make sure you relate with them one at a time so they can't gang up.

I had a similar problem with family members at one time.
Always 2 against one (me).
I eventually simply avoided them.
They didn't understand why and thought *I* was the bad one. lol

jimmyjazzuk
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03 Mar 2022, 11:31 pm

I'm running out of friends Pepe! :lol:

I may focus my energies elsewhere though

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