Why this « never give up » culture?

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In my opinion, some people here obviously can’t have a relationship, they have way many things that make it impossible (ie health problems, age, life circumstances, poverty…etc). They’re simply… not capable for winning in dating nor having a relationship.

And some of those are on the edge of giving up and accepting it, yet members here are like insisting on them to never give up, and keep telling them success stories they know… etc.

Why this « never give up on finding love » culture? It is really creating unnecessary pressure on those people, why not instead advising them how to *give up* in a *healthy way*, meaning for them to accept that they’re not made for dating/relationships but to find a different purpose in life to enjoy the rest of it. And no, I don’t mean by that as « love can find you when you are not looking » kind of bs advice.

If someone has a horrible crow-like voice wanting so much to become a singer star and yet keeps getting rejected by the jury, is it wise to keep telling them « don’t give up, you’ll get it there »? NO! This advice will eventually destroy them and will make them waste their life away over something they can never achieve.

And no, confidence doesn’t solve anything, how many candidates in programs like the Voice got destroyed and mocked in public because they were SO confident (delusional) about their singing skills, and then the reality hit them hard in their first audition?

Sometimes, it is OK to give up, even more, sometimes it the right thing to do.

I know I've shared my stories of success on here, but only to chime in on other aspects of dating and relationships.

I definitely understand what you mean though.

For some, I can imagine it's like pouring salt in the wound, especially the unnecessary pressure that finding love can bring down on to people.

Would it be a good idea to setup a sticky thread for those trying to find love within themselves and healthier and happier things for them to enjoy?

^ that’s a good idea.

Think about all the men you've seen posting here about their perpetual inability to ever gain any kind of traction in the dating world. How many of those men do you think would be receptive to the idea of never getting to experience any kind of romantic relationship or sex?

It would seem to me that most would rather commit suicide than accept life-long romantic and sexual loneliness. Most of us are biologically programmed to intensely desire those kinds of experiences with members of the opposite sex, and the idea that we do not get to have those experiences, but must live in a world where we are constantly exposed to everyone else getting to have those experiences is infuriating.

You've mentioned that you're likely to give up if your current relationship doesn't work out. I would say giving up after having your fair share of romantic and sexual experiences is significantly more palatable than being told to give up despite never getting to have those experiences at all.

Why would someone who has an extremely intense desire to experience romantic and sexual interactions, who is extremely frustrated and depressed about their inability to do so, want to continue living when romantic and sexual experiences are off the table for them? Nobody wants to continue feeling that way, and essentially being forced against their will to give up on having the experiences they value more than anything doesn't stop them from feeling that way.

This isn't the problem. The real problem is the enabling. Some just whine, and others pacify them. There's a difference between the discussion of a problem vs a behavioral pattern. Some are just leeching on the compassion.

Some people just get screwed over in the dating game through no fault of their own.

I know a guy who's a perfectly nice and easy going fellow but I doubt he's ever going to get married, have a family, or even have a girlfriend. He's a legitimate 2/10 on the lookscale; grossly overweight, very ugly face, and honestly looks "special". He's autistic and works full time as a dishwasher.

Saying things like, ”Either you should never give up, or you should learn to live with being single and celibate” has put me on at least one person’s List of Detractors.

What else can be said to people who have given up trying to improve themselves, who have nothing to bring in to a relationship, who cannot form meaningful relationships, and who cannot stop complaining about it?

I find that most people who feel they’re ugly—-actually aren’t all that ugly.

My mother made me think I was a fat slob when I was a child. I was actually only slightly chubby.

Boo is not one to talk. He has an attractive girlfriend now. I find it would be ridiculous if he gave up should his relationship not be successful. His only drawback is his height. My drawback is my height, too. And I’m sort of nerdy and old-looking.

No sirree! I don’t believe in giving up. I believe is not letting the pursuit of a partner be an all-encompassing thing.

if men worked on building a life that made them happy women would be the ones having to pursue

Sometimes *hope* feels better than *resignation* in the short term, even if it is just *false hope*

"If you work hard you can be anything you want to be when you grow up". That's part of the *"never give up" culture.*. Wrong Planet posters did not invent the *"never give up" culture*.

Sometimes something appears impossible and it is not impossible

Sometimes something appears impossible and it *is* impossible

Things are not always the way they appear

In some situations it is a good strategy to give up

Every situation different
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Having said that:

Everything I try to accomplish is like "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"

You can't "prove" it is impossible to do something, but that doesn't mean that it is worth the time cash and energy wasted trying

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The story of my "life"