Hello - my first post!

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone,

I'm a 43 year old male, living in the UK and last week I had an initial consultation with a psychologist who told me I probably have Apsergers.

Even though I've has my suspicions for years, it's still a bit strange to hear that. It's difficult to know 'what to do' with this new information. So - finding a forum and writing this is the first step.

From 'the outside' I probably look reasonably 'normal', even 'successful' - e.g. married, parent, good job, nice home etc. However, I've always struggled socially (despite making enormous efforts) and had very focused/intense solo interests that I 'need' to engage in to feel like myself.

I suspect over the years I've worked hard to 'smooth out' these aspects of myself so that I can fit into the neuro-typical world. This makes the thought of sharing this 'new information' a difficult one, as I'm not sure how those I know will take it - e.g. I suspect my mum won't like it as it will challenge her idea of her 'successful son'. Perhaps it is also a challenge to my own idea of myself...

I told my wife yesterday I've always felt like I needed to 'come out' about something, and this is it. I need to stand in the light of who I really am. I'm comforted by the words of St Paul in the New Testament: 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind.' (FYI The New Testament, particularly the Gospels, is one of my 'intense interests'!)

Whilst I've read lots about AS, I haven't ever (knowingly) met/spoken to anyone with AS so I'm hoping that I might connect with a few people here.

For interest, my 'intense interests' include: cycling/bicycle maintenance/building... the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein... and, as previously mentioned, the Gospels. I also love reading and writing (philosophy/theology/poetry) and being outside, particularly by the sea or surrounded by mountains

If you've got this far, thanks for reading my post,

Robin

Hi and welcome. I've just joined too and it's enlightening to read that you're on the way to getting a diagnosis. That's what I'm hoping for myself but I don't know if it's possible. It's not easy telling people especially when you've tried hard to fit into their norms so I hope it goes well for you.

I draw a lot on the Bible too actually. I'm not religious but I am spiritual and believe the truth lies in many places. And I love nature.

I hope you get what you need here.

I didn't suspect that I might be Autistic until I was 64. And I got the diagnosis before my 65^th birthday. Then I bought champagne!

The diagnosis explained so much.

And, about telling people... I got my diagnosis shortly before the Pandemic started so me and my diagnosis haven't gotten out much. But, realistically, people that know me the best already think I'm a bit quirky (other, less polite terms might also apply).

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. We are a very diverse group of people.

Thanks for the replies! Nice to hear from you all.
If anyone has experience of balancing religious faith with AS I’d be interested in hearing from you.
Robin

What's your religion?

Welcome aboard. This is my 16,223rd post.

You're welcome. I am Catholic; have been all my life.

welcome, glad you are with us. Diagnosis came as such a relief, it changed my perspective on everything forever.

I am a Christian, though I don’t like that term to be honest. I love the gospels. Dislike St Paul and what seems unnecessary theology (incarnation etc).

I had the (wrong) idea that all AS people were science-types… but I see from this website that isn’t the case. Saying that, I guess I approach religion in a somewhat literal and critical way… I’m wondering if it is a different sort of thing than it is for an NT person? For me it’s more like an ‘intense interest’ as the phrase goes … but for NT people it’s something else that I don’t understand!

Welcome Roboshu…. Hope you find good contacts here … we seem to have quite a diverse selection of. People with
Aspie spectrum syndrome…. Enjoy your visits , I know we have at least one person , whose main interests included bicycle . Building repair and riding on a professional basis .

Hi Robin!

I'm new here too. I hope telling your family goes well for you. I tried to tell my family about my diagnosis when I was in my twenties, but they could not understand what Autism even was, so I let it go. I look normal on the outside too, and this can work against us in some ways, and for us in other ways. I am also interested in religion, philosophy and poetry. Just curious, who is your favorite English poet?

Welcome to wrongplanet!

FYI here on wp I have found some who share my Catholic faith some who do not and some who are positively antagonistic to anything Catholic or Christian- and feel quite righteous about it.

If someone attacks your identity as to Gender the wrongplanet moderators will come to your defence and might even ban the offender. If someone attacks your identity as to being a Child of God or Born Again you are on your own. Those are the rules here. Just to let you know. Much like Jews living in Babylon in the Old Testament.

Autism Spectrum and Asperger’s can be hard to understand. I am trained in Science and work as a professional Software Engineer - I am self trained in my Catholic faith and Theology. AS can be viewed as a genetic or neurological disorder (or difference with negative or positive or neutral connotations, depending). Catholic theology views the human condition as both physical AND spiritual so the question is how much does the physical affect the spiritual and in what way (and visa versa). Another question is how AS affects relationships - and how this affects Church in terms of the Body of Christ (not the building). COVID has been a grand experiment on how people being able to group together or not group together affects things - Church just one of them. AS also has to do with people being able to group together - that whole social skills / people skills thing and non-verbal communication and empathy. Also social anxiety.

A few other things come up: the “why me” question. I may not feel good about my AS some days (frankly for me being non-Neurotypical is a blessing and a curse). I may ask: “if God loves me why am I suffering” - the same question about cancer or deafness or blindness from birth.
There are many gifts but one Spirit that gives - why don’t I have the gifts I see others get?

The last question is one of strength or loss of faith - having (or being) AS may make me rethink many things - what if I sometimes feel I may be losing my faith and I don’t want to - or am questioning things and cannot find answers- or find too many answers and they all seem to disagree? Where do I turn? “Where can I run from your love? If I fly to the Heavens you are there”.

All I can say is I think on all of these things and have to keep on the journey. I might even explicitly ask Christ to walk a part of it with me. And it is ok to ask for Wisdom too.

If you ever want to talk you can PM (private message) me or start a post here.

Another forum you might like is

https://www.catholicforum.com/forums/forum.php

I don't belong to a religion but I don't discount any of them. I believe in God. I've had experiences that convinced me there's more to life than this. I believe the Bible is a metaphor so it's all true, just not literally true. My autism doesn't make it any easier or harder to have faith. I believe I'm the way I am for a reason and my severely autistic son is the way he is for some purpose too.