Lost my confidence since covid pandemic

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Before the pandemic I had more confidence when being out in public. Now since the pandemic, I've suddenly lost all my confidence again and I keep feeling agoraphobic and when I walk to work I feel everyone's scrutinizing me and noticing everything I do, and staring at me as they pass in the street.

I feel tortured by this and it makes me not want to be outside. When I pass people I suddenly become focused on where I'm looking and I avoid eye contact but I can feel them staring at me. I have good peripheral vision, so I can notice their heads turn towards me as they pass and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Also when I know they're looking at me it makes me become all conscious of my facial expressions and I don't know which facial expression to pull, since I don't want to make eye contact. It's mentally draining just to pass someone. I hate passing people but it can't always be avoided, as I live in a city.

I get anxious when walking out of stores in case the alarm goes off (it has a few times for no reason) and it usually happens when I'm on my own .
Things aren't so scary when I'm with someone, I feel like I'm stared at less, if at all, maybe because I don't focus on it as much.
When I'm on my own I avoid the self-service tills because I feel like everyone is staring at me and watching me do it. Like one time I couldn't find the slot where you put money in (I wasn't familiar with the machine) and I felt everyone was watching me and thinking "look at that stupid idiot, she doesn't even know where the slot is even though it's clearly marked!"

Is it all down to lack of confidence, depression and anxiety?

But I have no choice but to walk to work on my own. How do I make myself more perfect to stop all the unwanted stares? How can I stop feeling like I'm being scrutinized?

Regarding people looking at you:
I suggest you wear large sunglasses to obscure your facial expressions.
Then there is your body language that may be causing attention.
People may be picking up your anxiety.

What body language am I supposed to have, and why would looking anxious cause people to stare? And no, it doesn't make me look like a potential murderer. Usually murderers are shifty-looking males that skulk about and they actually stare at their victim, follow them, etc. The way I am dressed makes it obvious that I am just going to work and minding my own business.

Interesting response.
I am not sure why you said that.
I never considered people might think you were a murderer.

Well, something is going on, either from the outside or the inside.
Could you be misinterpreting what you are seeing?

It's usually the response I get on WP during these sorts of discussions, that NTs see anyone looking anxious as a potential murderer and are just staring at you to watch you don't pull a knife out of your purse or something. But surely NTs know that the chances of a timid but innocent-looking female that looks like she has social anxiety intending to stab a random stranger to death are very, very slim and isn't usually something that crosses your mind. All NTs I know who I talk about this to say that they don't fear everyone who doesn't look confident are murderers.

Well, because I don't look at people I don't fully know what they're doing but I can sense that someone is looking at me because I feel that "burning a hole in my face" feeling. I just thought that by not looking at them they won't look at me. I mean, why waste your time gawking at someone who isn't interested in gawking at me back?

I wouldn't think you're a "potential murderer." I wouldn't fear you. I would think you're just minding your own business while walking to your destination.

All this crap is frequently the product of suspicious minds who just see the negative in things.

I don't think it's as easy as "normal" = normal vs "strangeness" = murderer.
For me, I am quite clumsy and often trip on my feet or uneven walking surface, and sometimes I lose my balance a wee bit. It could easilly be interpreted as that I'm drunk or on some other substance.
I also don't really move my arms when walking, unless I conciously think about it.
And I walk extremely fast.
And people interpret my casual glance as a stare.
Not sure how those things are interpreted by others, but I can understand if they're caucious whithout thinking I'm a potential murderer.

/Mats

In New York City, you would just be considered "one of many."

There was a guy on the train yesterday ranting about killing white people.

My point is....if you're around a lot of people, you probably wouldn't stand out unless you were yelling in the street or something like that.

I live in a city where there's literally all sorts of people, from chav to snob, and all different nationalities too. So it's not easy to stand out unless you're dramatically doing something to attract attention like yelling in the street. We have homeless people and people that live in big mansions. And just the working class like myself. All sorts. So I should be "one of many".

I never noticed it when I was living in Stockholm, but now I live in a city of ~16 000 souls and work in a city of ~30 000.
All these places are quite diverse, so I think it has more to do with size.
But what do I know...

/Mats

If you aren't looking at them but feel they are "burning a hole in your face", I think your imagination is getting the better of you.
How could it be anything/k else?

I'm weird

I have my tickle but i get a grades at uni

go figure

I want to meet other weird humans

we all follow Joe but she won't speak to anybody