Why SHOULD you have a child sooner rather than later ?

Post Reply New Topic

Well it is said in a general sense that women biologically tend to mature faster than men. But if this is true, why do so many women, even ones I know, wait till they are close to 40 before they decide to settle down and want kids, compared to more men I know, who seem to want to earlier, almost as if perhaps more men know when to quit while they are ahead and cash out.

Unless that is incorrect in most cases?

Most women these days stay in school for graduate programs.
They have busy careers.
They work long enough to have benefits and maternity leave.
They'll need a big enough home for raising children, in a good area of town.
They know they might end up being a single parent, so they need to be financially secure.

Bringing a baby into the world is a huge responsibility.
Women want to have the right partner, or money to adopt / use IVF on their own.
They want to travel and enjoy their lives before making such a big commitment.

Not all women are career-minded but if not, they will have even less money saved.

Some women just don't feel mature enough to raise a child until they're older.

* This includes trans men.

I see, but it seems that the whole system is not very friendly to women being the healthiest to have kids when they are in their 20s. So couldn't some sort of arrangments be made, where they don't have to wait so long?

it would be better if our nation would be compassionate like the nordic nations which give new mothers good gov't benefits.

Involuntary childlessness is a big problem in the Nordic countries, too, for two reasons: 1) women are waiting too long to have children (this is despite having a very solid social security system with plenty of benefits and support. Few need to save money to have children, unless the purpose is to keep up with the baby Joneses), and 2) men's sperm quality is worsening. Some studies say that the number of sperm cells in a typical sample has decreased by 50% over the last 40 years, and nobody knows why. Add to that the gradual worsening of sperm quality as men grow older, and you can see why age matters in this respect too.

Because they want to live life, just like men want to live life.

Having a kid is a gigantic responsibility.

But they want to live life and have kids later even though it means it's more difficult later?

That's the whole point: through life experience, raising children becomes easier.

Why is it that people here believe that being in their 30s constitutes "old age"?

I've known people in their 40s who have more energy than when they were in their 20s.

^^^i wish i was one of those energetic folks.

You are, in your own way.

What’s preventing you from seeming energetic is your back.

I'm so sorry to hear that!

Well if age is not a problem and women can have kids at 40 with today's technology for example, then why do women I know complain about how they should have gotten married and have kids when they were younger, and how they now regret not doing that, now that they are in their late 30s? I have 3 women friends who are all like this at this age, and wonder, why do they regret it, if they can still do with today's technology, even in a few years?

the "technology" at least in amuuurica is only for the wealthier among us, and by no means surefire.

That makes sense. How come in high school for example they don't teach students for example that there is a wall on age and sexual and fertile market value, and they should capitalize on that and aim for children in their 20s rather than waiting till 40?