Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Is This Toxic Content? Down To Earth/Girl Next Door

Page 5 of 7 [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

28 Apr 2022, 7:54 pm

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
. . . women I dated later tried to contact me on social media and disclosed they had me on ice (so to speak) so if things didn't work out I was somebody they could come back to and marry when they were in their 30s. To be honest I was too naive at the time and should have known better.
I have always suspected that the “Friend Zone” was where women put men whom they might marry if nothing better came along, or whom they might marry once they had finished having fun with “Bad Boys” and wanted to marry, settle down, and raise families of their own.


Yes...



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 Apr 2022, 8:25 pm

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i suppose friendzone is still better than creepzone.


Not really. I felt used and sexually frustrated.

having been in the creepzone for my lifetime so far, i would say that you have outperformed me by leagues.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

28 Apr 2022, 8:49 pm

auntblabby wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i suppose friendzone is still better than creepzone.


Not really. I felt used and sexually frustrated.

having been in the creepzone for my lifetime so far, i would say that you have outperformed me by leagues.


It's not a competition Blabs. I suspect we both went through mental anguish.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

29 Apr 2022, 12:20 am

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
Not all of them. I'm, apparently, above average and I can't stand alpha males.
Shush, the "logic" of this narrative is: if someone is successful in dating, it means he's "alpha", so only the "alpha" guys get dates :P
So . . .

• A man is successful in dating because he is an "Alpha".

. . . and . . .

• A man is an "Alpha" because he is successful in dating.

. . . seems perfectly circular to me.

That's exactly what I mean :mrgreen:


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

29 Apr 2022, 12:24 am

cyberdad wrote:
Interesting my Polish friend back in the 1990s said dating in Poland was changing. The traditional marriage minded girl in Poland was also changing with the times.

The experience of me and my friends is: if you're looking for hookup, you can find hookup. If you're looking for someone marriage-oriented, you can find someone marriage-oriented. Applies to both genders and the two are largely separate. Friendship-first is the norm in my social circles.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

29 Apr 2022, 1:51 am

magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Interesting my Polish friend back in the 1990s said dating in Poland was changing. The traditional marriage minded girl in Poland was also changing with the times.

The experience of me and my friends is: if you're looking for hookup, you can find hookup. If you're looking for someone marriage-oriented, you can find someone marriage-oriented. Applies to both genders and the two are largely separate. Friendship-first is the norm in my social circles.


Hopefully Polish men find it easier to find a life partner than us poor saps in the west.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

03 May 2022, 9:41 am

Well I find that most men go for average looking women anyway, and so this whole models are bad influence thing, is not really anything to worry about since most men don't seem to fall for it anyway?



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

03 May 2022, 7:05 pm

ironpony wrote:
Well I find that most men go for average looking women anyway, and so this whole models are bad influence thing, is not really anything to worry about since most men don't seem to fall for it anyway?


Yeah I get what you mean. It assumes that men have a choice :lol:



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

04 May 2022, 12:49 am

cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well I find that most men go for average looking women anyway, and so this whole models are bad influence thing, is not really anything to worry about since most men don't seem to fall for it anyway?
Yeah I get what you mean. It assumes that men have a choice :lol:
You seem very unhapy with your romantic live but don't project it on everyone.
Most people are averagely attractive and pair up with other averagely attractive people.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

04 May 2022, 12:54 am

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i suppose friendzone is still better than creepzone.


Not really. I felt used and sexually frustrated.

having been in the creepzone for my lifetime so far, i would say that you have outperformed me by leagues.


It's not a competition Blabs. I suspect we both went through mental anguish.


Try being a skunk. 8)



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

04 May 2022, 1:15 am

Well it seems to me that this would be more toxic for women then men, because men go for average women all the time, but women I know seem to really be effected by it more, and one woman I know is all about being skinny and not eatting much, wanting to look like a model as much as possible, etc.

But most men go for average women, so women should know that, and not be so pressured therefore perhaps?



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,739
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 May 2022, 1:17 am

it would be nicer if more women didn't torture themselves so. life is too short for that, really.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 5,590
Location: canada

04 May 2022, 2:06 am

Oh yeah for sure, I concur.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

04 May 2022, 6:29 am

magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Well I find that most men go for average looking women anyway, and so this whole models are bad influence thing, is not really anything to worry about since most men don't seem to fall for it anyway?
Yeah I get what you mean. It assumes that men have a choice :lol:
You seem very unhapy with your romantic live but don't project it on everyone.
Most people are averagely attractive and pair up with other averagely attractive people.


Just an observation (apparently not I'm not allowed to have opinions here now?) the dating market is getting harder than when I was around, I was talking about my struggles in my 20s rather than my current situation. Just acknowledging those who are searching.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

04 May 2022, 6:32 am

cyberdad wrote:
Just an observation (apparently not I'm not allowed to have opinions here now?) the dating market is getting harder than when I was around, I was talking about my struggles in my 20s rather than my current situation. Just acknowledging those who are searching.
I "love" this language.
"Dating market" where you want to "have choice".
Are you aware of the fact that we are human beings, not lifestock on auction?


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,284

04 May 2022, 6:34 am

magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Just an observation (apparently not I'm not allowed to have opinions here now?) the dating market is getting harder than when I was around, I was talking about my struggles in my 20s rather than my current situation. Just acknowledging those who are searching.
I "love" this language.
"Dating market" where you want to "have choice".
Are you aware of the fact that we are human beings, not lifestock on auction?


Should I be following newspeak? The term "dating market" is used quite often, even in journals feel free to google it.

And in case you think I am making things up
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/arch ... th/606982/