Cognitive vs. Affective Empathy

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A person is upset --- I see and feel that upset possibly more strongly than they do (high affective), but are they upset b/c of the loud noises and/or their partner who turned away and/or something that happened last year on this date or their broken garage door? Beats me (low cognitive). Maybe that means my cognitive is high b/c I can imagine all the 1,000 possibilities, but I suck at narrowing it down.

Unreliable but sometimes effective cognitive, nascent affective. People tend to tell me things they don't often share.

Is affective empathy when you sense someone is down or upset? This happens to me often, I sense a colleague or friend is a bit depressed or low, but don't know why they're upset. I sense they're upset from their body language (e.g. posture), their tone of voice, how much they're talking, etc.

Or must you also feel their emotion too? If it is someone close to me, and they are depressed or upset, often I can feel the emotion inside me very strongly, like a physical pain in the chest. It can feel rather overwhelming and uncomfortable, and I don't know how to respond. Does this happen to other people too? Is that affective empathy?
Sometimes I feel I don't respond well to people when this happens (e.g. I try to cheer them up, but it doesn't really work), does that mean I have affective empathy but lack tact?

Regarding cognitive empathy, does that mean that you guess correctly WHY someone is upset or down? I can make a reasonably intelligent guess e.g. someone is upset in the evening after work, maybe something bad happened at work that day, or maybe their journey home was stressful, or they read something upsetting in the news? Is this cognitive empathy, making a reasonable guess? Surely my guess could often be wrong though?

Another thing that happens to me is that if I listen to news, sometimes I feel so badly for people (e.g. in warzones, etc.), that I am sad and upset for the whole day, and imagine vividly what it is like for those people, and feel sad. Is that empathy? Or sympathy?

It's a dynamic rather than static thing. I have felt emotional empathy for people who are vulnerable or helpless. Like this woman who was disabled in a wheelchair. I've felt emotion empathy for animals, if they are injured or hurt. But Cognitive empathy, I don't really do much of that. I think I can, but it doesn't come naturally. I don't think. Affective empathy, I take it you mean , an instinctual response. There is no thought there, no thinking required. It's all autonomic.

There's also times I feel nothing. Completely non-reactive. It's context. I can be slow to react to things .There is always a delay, it seems. My brain processes things over time. I'm definitely not the type to burst into tears or get hysterical in the moment. I can be very calm in bad situations. Paradoxically. Yet lose my s**t; my temper, my composure, over things other people consider trivial.

Cognitively, I recognize emotions in others, when they're sad, when they're happy. Why they might act that way, their reasons ,might maybe more difficult to understand.

Cognitive -- Unknown. Basics I can see it. Anything else beyond that is everyone's guess.

Affective -- Too sensitive. Do not want it. Therefore would attempt to behave contradictory to it. A liability and an internally conflicting factor.


Both -- inconsistent. Unreliable without a working executive function.
Mainly attention span, working memory and processing speed for the former, all sorts of regulation and monitoring whether it's emotional or sensory for the latter.

Anything else can apply to both and behaviorally.

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