Funny, corny joke thread

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Posts: 109,998
Location: the island of defective toy santas

11 May 2022, 4:15 am

How old are you???

1972: Long hair
2022: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high
2022: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG
2022: EKG

1972: Acid rock
2022: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2022: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot
2022: Growing pot belly

1972: Seeds and stems
2022: Fiber

1972: Popping pills, smoking joints
2022: Popping joints

1972: Killer weed
2022: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW
2022: Hoping for a BM

1972: The Grateful Dead
2022: The grateful aspiring to be dead in Switzerland, Germany, the Netherlands, and in the US states of Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Hawaii, Vermont, Montana, Washington, D.C., Maine (Starting January 1, 2020), New Jersey, and California.

1972: Going to a hip new joint
2022: Receiving a new hip joint

1972: Rolling Stones
2022: Kidney Stones

1972: Being called into the principal's office
2022: Calling the principal's office

1972: Screw the system
2022: Upgrade the system

1972: Disco
2022: Costco

1972: Taking acid
2022: Taking antacid

1972: Whatever
2022: Depends

lostonearth35
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11 May 2022, 1:18 pm

During the surgery, I heard the doctor use a four letter word that really offended me... "Oops!"

Rexi
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11 May 2022, 3:02 pm

auntblabby wrote:

I think Romania hasn't moved forward yet from 1972. :duh:

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auntblabby
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12 May 2022, 1:07 am

Rexi wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

I think Romania hasn't moved forward yet from 1972. :duh:

which part is stuck in 1972?

Matrix Glitch
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12 May 2022, 7:50 am

Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield?

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auntblabby
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12 May 2022, 8:59 am

^^^ :wtg:

naturalplastic
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13 May 2022, 12:41 am

Good.

And certainly "corny"!

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13 May 2022, 12:58 am

What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Don't look now, but between you and me, something smells."

Matrix Glitch
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15 May 2022, 12:43 am

What do you call an optometrist in the bering strait?

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auntblabby
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15 May 2022, 5:05 pm

i've started investing in stocks - beef, chicken and vegetable... one day i hope to be a bouillonaire.

lostonearth35
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15 May 2022, 5:11 pm

How much do sailors pay for corn?

A buck an ear. (buccaneer)

auntblabby
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16 May 2022, 12:10 am

An optimist falls off a 10 story building. As he passes the 5th floor he is heard to say "so far so good."

naturalplastic
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16 May 2022, 1:42 am

When the teacher asked what parents did for a living I told the class that they were "in the iron and steel business".

My mother irons.

My father steals!

auntblabby
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16 May 2022, 1:57 am