Feel that being a boss would make me feel content ?

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chris1989
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03 Apr 2022, 11:07 am

I don't know why but I seem to feel that if was in a position of a job as a manager or supervisor etc it would make me feel happy, satisfied and content with the job and that I'm in charge and know what I'm doing. But a part of me feels like telling me that I can't do that level because it might be too much for me to handle. But I really can't understand why I have got this issue with people and their age because of their occupation of a job or career that they are in like for example a leader of a team of people who is in his or her 20s. I know this is ridiculous and that it is irrelevant how old they are but I think its just because of the fact that I haven't got the skills they have and the stage of career that are at already because it just makes me feel why wasn't I like them or at that stage ? I do hope this is not sounding like someone has an over inflated ego or something and I'm sorry to people if its sounds like it is coming across that way but I just can't understand what is going on here.



luckystrike.es
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29 Apr 2022, 10:27 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I don't know why but I seem to feel that if was in a position of a job as a manager or supervisor etc it would make me feel happy, satisfied and content with the job and that I'm in charge and know what I'm doing. But a part of me feels like telling me that I can't do that level because it might be too much for me to handle. But I really can't understand why I have got this issue with people and their age because of their occupation of a job or career that they are in like for example a leader of a team of people who is in his or her 20s. I know this is ridiculous and that it is irrelevant how old they are but I think its just because of the fact that I haven't got the skills they have and the stage of career that are at already because it just makes me feel why wasn't I like them or at that stage ? I do hope this is not sounding like someone has an over inflated ego or something and I'm sorry to people if its sounds like it is coming across that way but I just can't understand what is going on here.

In my experience, when the primary role is managing people some autistic features actually help you to be a better manager. Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you feel like you've got what it takes, prove how well you know what you're doing to whomever has the power to move you up in the ranks.


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Polynechramorph
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09 May 2022, 2:58 am

Job skills have very little to do with managing skills.

This is the achilles heel of most organisations as skilled workers are expected to be promoted into management jobs which more often than not becomes a disaster.

Skilled workers should be promoted but not into management.

A good manager /boss has a very specific set of skills which depending on the company culture may be radically different from company to company.

It is very difficult to assess if this might be a good idea for you or not without knowing more about your specific skills and how that aligns with the culture of the company you are working for.


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Joe90
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09 May 2022, 11:18 am

In my experience I find that bosses seem to be grumpy and absent-minded, like they're stressed and overworked. I think a lot of people just do it for the power and the money. From the vibes I pick up from bosses, they seem like they're under a lot of stress and have a lot to think about. So if I were you I'd just carry on doing what you're doing and be glad and thankful you're in employment.

I would never be able to be a boss, because of ADHD. I have a hard time managing things and being in power, and if NT people can find it stressful and they become forgetful then I wouldn't stand a chance! I'm better off just keeping to low-profile jobs where I'm out of the way and not in charge of business.


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funeralxempire
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09 May 2022, 11:26 am

Being a boss is great until the hero shows up to kick your ass. :nerdy:


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Polynechramorph
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09 May 2022, 2:00 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Being a boss is great until the hero shows up to kick your ass. :nerdy:


Yes very true unless the boss is able to admit he was wrong which in my opinion garners more respect than anything. Good ideas should always trump ego.


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Fnord
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09 May 2022, 2:16 pm

Don't be a boss; be a leader.

Leaders develop talent.
Bosses ignore talent.

Leaders earn their employees respect.
Bosses earn their employees' fear.

Leaders get involved.
Bosses stay on the sidelines.

Leaders lead by example.
Bosses give orders.

Leaders listen, then speak.
Bosses speak, then ignore.

Leaders motivate their employees.
Bosses push their employees.

Leaders offer sound advice in privacy.
Bosses scold and threaten publicly.

Leaders treat employees equally.
Bosses have favorite employees.



kraftiekortie
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09 May 2022, 2:29 pm

I've never been a boss----and I'm pretty content on my job.

It can be very stressful to be a boss----and, especially in retail or fast food, they don't make much more money than the "regular" workers.



funeralxempire
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09 May 2022, 3:17 pm

Polynechramorph wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Being a boss is great until the hero shows up to kick your ass. :nerdy:


Yes very true unless the boss is able to admit he was wrong which in my opinion garners more respect than anything. Good ideas should always trump ego.


I'm still waiting for a game where you show up to beat the boss and they just concede that they're probably being a jerk.

Ah, sorry Mario, here's the Princess back.


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Polynechramorph
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10 May 2022, 2:57 am

Fnord wrote:
Don't be a boss; be a leader.

Leaders develop talent.
Bosses ignore talent.

Leaders earn their employees respect.
Bosses earn their employees' fear.

Leaders get involved.
Bosses stay on the sidelines.

Leaders lead by example.
Bosses give orders.

Leaders listen, then speak.
Bosses speak, then ignore.

Leaders motivate their employees.
Bosses push their employees.

Leaders offer sound advice in privacy.
Bosses scold and threaten publicly.

Leaders treat employees equally.
Bosses have favorite employees.


Couldn't have said it any better. :D :salut:


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MissChess
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10 May 2022, 9:41 am

I was promoted into a management/supervisory position, and loathed it. I've never been a team player, except in those instances where the team really needed someone who did truly exceptional work when they left her alone and let her get on with it. The last five years at work were a nightmare for me, because I supervised 12-15 people and I swear there were days when it seemed as if every last one of them needed permission, diagrams, and direct supervision to blow their noses.

I was immensely grateful for that last year of work-from-home, and when the organization announced we'd all be returning to the office soon - I took early retirement rather than facing that nonsense again.

Being a boss, sadly, doesn't mean you're not saddled with someone else's ideas. It often just means that you're now responsible for their ideas. :roll:


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Fnord
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10 May 2022, 9:52 am

Polynechramorph wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Don't be a boss; be a leader.

Leaders develop talent.
Bosses ignore talent.

Leaders earn their employees respect.
Bosses earn their employees' fear.

Leaders get involved.
Bosses stay on the sidelines.

Leaders lead by example.
Bosses give orders.

Leaders listen, then speak.
Bosses speak, then ignore.

Leaders motivate their employees.
Bosses push their employees.

Leaders offer sound advice in privacy.
Bosses scold and threaten publicly.

Leaders treat employees equally.
Bosses have favorite employees.
Couldn't have said it any better.
While not a direct verbatim quote, these are the lessons I learned (the hard way) as a Navy NCO.



Polynechramorph
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10 May 2022, 10:09 am

They are the exact lessons I've learned from being an entrepreneur for 30 years. :D
Well said. I copied them down for reference. It just sums it all up so nicely.


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hmk66
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24 Jun 2022, 4:38 am

Fnord wrote:
Don't be a boss; be a leader.

Leaders develop talent.
Bosses ignore talent.

[...]

Leaders treat employees equally.
Bosses have favorite employees.


Well said! About a year ago I had a course Executive Secretary. This course (whose diploma I have) has several modules. Management & Organisation is one of the modules. It taught me how to deal with employees when you are a leader.

I think a leader needs some characteristics, management skills and soft skills, at least a very good ability to "read" people. The result of the procedures must meet the goals in the operational management, and it is up to the employees how to achieve that. There are several types of leadership: situational leadership (looking at someone's skills and motivation), transactional and transformal leadership. Several things I learned from the course. An Executive Secretary must have some management skills to help her boss to arrange things with employees.

A leader (a boss) is a part of an organisation, and also has higher bosses. In the school where I work there are several bosses between me and the principal.

Am I able to be a leader? I don't know. I never tested my ability to be a leader. My current and my previous boss explicitly don't want me to be a leader ever and to develop into a skillful employee, because of the autism stigma. I think I am social enough to actually listen to employees and have social skills, I think. Maybe they have very good ideas I didn't think of, yet. I would not ever make any difference between autistic employees and NT employees. There skills are things that matter to me, not whether they are autistic. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.