Is it stupid to be in love with someone if they aren't.....?

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Is it stupid to be in love with someone if they aren't in love with you too?

Its not "stupid" per se. Happens to me all of the time, myself.

Whats counter productive is being willfully blind to the fact that they dont reciprocate the feeling. Stay aware that they arent in love with you, and to the possibiity that they may never return the emotion. Move on, if necessary to someone else.

@naturalplastic
@Fnord

I appreciate the advice!

That's the way I feel about it, too.....

This happened to me once when I was young and it was really tough on me for a few months because I really felt like I was in love. The way I got over with it is I kept telling my brain that it was being duped and that it's not worth loving someone who doesn't love you back, and you're being fooled, brain...

Eventually I just fell out of love and after telling myself that and it worked. Not sure if that's good advice, but I hope it helps.

not stupid as in you've done something wrong, but stupid as in it's painful

No, because you can’t help how you feel and vise versa. I have had romantic feelings for a few guys who I had crushes on who didn’t feel that way back. While it hurts that they don’t like you back, you have to let it flow

In letting go, it may also help to ask yourself what love is. Do they see something you don't, and thus look elsewhere? Or do you pine for them because the fantasy is attractive, and feels better than a real relationship?

Also, many unhealthy people function well together, through a common goal. I'm not sure many relationships last based on just love.

Being in love with someone who is not in love with you is not stupid. Love is a feeling & feelings are NOT stupid. However in some sever cases it can be related to the delusional disorder, Erotomania if the person in love believes that the other loves them when the object of their affection clearly does not. Erotomania can also involve the person in love knowing that their affection is not reciprocated but they come up with crazy dangerous plans believing that they can get the object of their affection to fall in love with them. It can lead to things like stalking, kidnapping, violence, & threatening & such.
Being in love with someone who does not love you can also be related to an OCD obsession & Aspie special interests but being in love in general even when it's reciprocated can be related to those things. When love is not reciprocated in some cases it can lead to depression.
If you don't lose your grip on reality & keep your head about you, being in love with someone who does not love you may majorly hurt but you'll turn out OK. I know about this because of some personal experience but very luckily I realized how crazy I was & the LAST thing I ever want to do is hurt someone I love so I never actually tried anything.

There is another reason to consider how long you've known them. If you've not known them very long then it might be a case of they don't love you yet. In that case, don't scare them off!

Personally, there have been some gals who wanted me but the feeling wasn't mutual, and there were some gals I wanted...and the feeling wasn't mutual. It took me a very long time to find a gal who wanted me and where the feeling was mutual. (And I'm an Autie and "Romance" is not an area where I'm skilled—so I was very lucky. And it is possible I was oblivious to some good matches I met earlier in life, but my bride would definitely object to me regretting that!)