Can a couple have a baby without living together?

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Joe90
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14 Apr 2022, 11:18 am

I was going to write a story about a family; a mother with 3 young children, who has a boyfriend with a young child, but they don't live together. I want a new baby to add to the family but I don't want the boyfriend to move in with the mum, as it won't fit with the plot I'm intending to write.
But I don't want the story to be about a disfunctional family, as the boyfriend is supposed to be a decent guy and the mother too (the real dad of the kids will supposed to have died from a terminal illness).

Is it acceptable for a boyfriend and a girlfriend to have a baby even though they're not living in the same house? I want my story to be realistic.


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funeralxempire
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14 Apr 2022, 11:23 am

It happens, so it's acceptable and realistic as narrative. Not everyone's relationship will match what society expects.


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Fnord
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14 Apr 2022, 11:33 am

That seems like a great idea, Joe!  Some possible explanations:

• The boyfriend is gay (or bi), loves kids (nothing weird or illegal), likes being called "daddy", but enjoys his "wild and carefree" lifestyle with other men.

• The boyfriend is some kind of celebrity, and cannot risk being associated with a "commoner", but he dearly loves the woman and her children because they give him the kind of "normal" life he has always dreamed of.

• The boyfriend is the late husband's brother, a paroled ex-con trying to get his life back together, but his former associates will do anything to drag him back into a life of crime.

• The man is Thomas Jefferson, and even though his mistress has birthed his children, custom and law dictate that she live in separate quarters because she is also his (most cherished) slave.



naturalplastic
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14 Apr 2022, 12:44 pm

Yes. It happens.

My boss sired a child by a lady friend one time employee of the store while he was engaged to someone else. She brought the baby into the store to show him once. He wasnt public about it, but ...he was public about it. Kept asking "wasnt that a cute baby...wasnt that a cute baby". Even an aspie like me was able to figure it out. :roll:

And there can be other scenarios. The guy could be incarcerated.

Maybe she is married to a 90 year old rich sugar daddy, but a young guy her own age was the one who actually knocked her up (after she spends time on the Lyin side of town) but everyone pretends the kid is the Sugar daddy's. Listen to the Eagles' song "Lyin Eyes" to get some inspiration. Lol!



Kitty4670
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14 Apr 2022, 5:12 pm

Anything can happen in today world. I used to write children stories.


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Apr 2022, 11:42 am

Yes of course they can. Couples can even be married without choosing to live together.



hurtloam
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16 Apr 2022, 1:41 pm

Yes, I was at a friend of a friend's house having a cup of tea. She had just had a baby and the Dad who didn't live with her popped in to say hello and see how she was doing. Turns out I went to school with him.

They definitely weren't living together, but we're on good terms.



Fireblossom
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17 Apr 2022, 4:55 am

Yes? My parents weren't living together when my older sister was born, and they didn't move in together until mom was expecting me (my sister and I are a year and half apart in age.) The reason was that mom didn't want to live under the same roof with grandma and grandpa, so she moved in once the in laws moved out. :D

For a story like yours, a good explanation for not living together would be that neither person's place is big enough for both them and all the kids, and/or they don't want to change either person's kids life too much by having them move. Or something. Of course, simply wanting to live apart without any specific reason is perfectly valid too and while it's rare, it does happen in real life, too.



PhosphorusDecree
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17 Apr 2022, 5:04 am

Definitely a lot of ways this can and does happen.

The boyfriend may have to live and work in another town, or even another country.

She may have got pregant unexpectedly, while they were still living apart. Her home may be too cramped to fit anough adult as well as a new baby, and they may have trouble finding somewhere bigger they can afford.

He may actually be an ex-boyfriend who's still on good terms with her- one of my friends was kicked out by his girlfriend when their baby was 2, but patched things up enough to have regular access to the child.

So, it's a plausible situation, and could be interesting to write about.


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HighLlama
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17 Apr 2022, 6:04 am

They can have a baby without even liking each other :P

Seriously, I think that's an interesting, dramatic idea. You should explore it.



Joe90
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17 Apr 2022, 3:55 pm

Just to elaborate my story, it's going to mostly revolve around a 7-year-old boy who lives with all girls (his mum and older sister and younger sister), and the mum's boyfriend has a 7-year-old daughter who the little boy doesn't get on with. The mum has a baby halfway through the story, another little girl. When I write a story I have to be able to picture the house they live in so the reason why I didn't want to have the boyfriend and his daughter moving in too is because there's no room (the house I'm using in my story is actually an existing house my uncle lives in).

I try to put as little fantasy in my stories as possible, as I'm more of a drama type of writer and I like things to be like mundane life and not too far-fetched.


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Earthbound_Alien
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18 Apr 2022, 1:05 am

yes sweetheart

it happens all the time xx

I used to write but it was poetry..won 3 competitions.

not written in years though :?



Earthbound_Alien
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18 Apr 2022, 1:05 am

other than that I wrote essays or funny stuff



Earthbound_Alien
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18 Apr 2022, 1:10 am

my other claims to fame are:

was hypnotised by Paul McKenna before he was famous (at Butlins) and my dad was one of the First national hunt jockies to be helped by the injured jockies fund...adrian ambrose major...he is on jockeypedia 2.

i be the Cheryl

I also be a bit piddlywinked lol



Last edited by Earthbound_Alien on 18 Apr 2022, 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Earthbound_Alien
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18 Apr 2022, 1:12 am

my dad was autistic too

I inherited it along with me mums intellect...makes for a quirky combination



IsabellaLinton
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18 Apr 2022, 1:44 am

Ross and Rachel had Emma without living together, on Friends.

Just an example that I thought of.