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Should I look for someone I'm more sexually compatible with?

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rse92
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24 Apr 2022, 7:13 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
rse92 wrote:
Did you ever think that the reasons why she, as a 21 year old girl, is into you, as a 37 year old man, are the same reasons she's not into being dominant in bed with you?

Actually, people in the kink world, whether dominant or submissive, tend to be less hung up on age than people in the vanilla world.

When I was in my mid-twenties and very active in the kink world, as a dominant, most of my partners were older, simply because the vast majority of people in the scene happened to be older.


Well, apparently (i) she is not in the kink world, or (ii) she is but she is not into it with him. Either way, my point stands.



Mona Pereth
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24 Apr 2022, 8:14 am

rse92 wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
rse92 wrote:
Did you ever think that the reasons why she, as a 21 year old girl, is into you, as a 37 year old man, are the same reasons she's not into being dominant in bed with you?

Actually, people in the kink world, whether dominant or submissive, tend to be less hung up on age than people in the vanilla world.

When I was in my mid-twenties and very active in the kink world, as a dominant, most of my partners were older, simply because the vast majority of people in the scene happened to be older.


Well, apparently (i) she is not in the kink world, or (ii) she is but she is not into it with him. Either way, my point stands.

Agreed that she is apparently not into the kink world. But my point is that you can't draw conclusions about this based just on their respective ages and nothing else.


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rse92
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24 Apr 2022, 4:47 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
rse92 wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
rse92 wrote:
Did you ever think that the reasons why she, as a 21 year old girl, is into you, as a 37 year old man, are the same reasons she's not into being dominant in bed with you?

Actually, people in the kink world, whether dominant or submissive, tend to be less hung up on age than people in the vanilla world.

When I was in my mid-twenties and very active in the kink world, as a dominant, most of my partners were older, simply because the vast majority of people in the scene happened to be older.


Well, apparently (i) she is not in the kink world, or (ii) she is but she is not into it with him. Either way, my point stands.

Agreed that she is apparently not into the kink world. But my point is that you can't draw conclusions about this based just on their respective ages and nothing else.


I didn’t draw conclusions. I merely suggested that he consider that, since she is dating a much older man who she seems to respect (as she, a manager, believes he is more valuable to her company than his compensation reflect), she doesn’t see him as a man she feels comfortable dominating.

I don’t think he should get another girlfriend. I think he should back off and enjoy the unicorn girlfriend he has. It’s his problem not hers. Is this really the hill he is willing to let this relationship to die on? That’s one man’s perspective but I doubt I’m alone.



ironpony
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24 Apr 2022, 6:29 pm

Oh it's not the hill I wanted to let the relationship die on, it's just whenever I brought up the problem before, online or with people I know, their response is to give up and go for someone else. I know not everyone is absolutely perfect for each other, but in order for a relationship to survive, do they have to be perfect for each other, and no relationship can work with compromises?

Plus when it was said that she doesn't feel comfortable dominating because she respects me, is this common in women that they only want to dominate women they do not respect? This could be why the only two dominatrix types I know, were not dating material and were not interested in a relationship?



Pepe
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24 Apr 2022, 7:20 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh it's not the hill I wanted to let the relationship die on, it's just whenever I brought up the problem before, online or with people I know, their response is to give up and go for someone else. I know not everyone is absolutely perfect for each other, but in order for a relationship to survive, do they have to be perfect for each other, and no relationship can work with compromises?


Seriously?
You actually think there are "perfect" relationships out there?

Excuse me for s second.
Show Spoiler
:lmao:

Ahem. <composed again> 8)

*Every* relationship is a compromise because every human being is the epitome of self-consuming self-interest.
This is not a criticism.
This is simply a statement of fact that has been created by the evolutionary process.

As my grandpappy skunk used to say:
"Even an altruist is "merely" satisfying their own inherent emotional needs." 8)



ironpony
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24 Apr 2022, 7:36 pm

No I don't think there are perfect relationships out there of course. It's just that others tell me the relationship will not work out if the sex part isn't fully compatible, or at least if that part is, if that's true?



rse92
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25 Apr 2022, 3:27 pm

ironpony wrote:
Oh it's not the hill I wanted to let the relationship die on, it's just whenever I brought up the problem before, online or with people I know, their response is to give up and go for someone else. I know not everyone is absolutely perfect for each other, but in order for a relationship to survive, do they have to be perfect for each other, and no relationship can work with compromises?

Plus when it was said that she doesn't feel comfortable dominating because she respects me, is this common in women that they only want to dominate women they do not respect? This could be why the only two dominatrix types I know, were not dating material and were not interested in a relationship?


STOP overthinking this.

Why do you ask if it is common? Do you want to find a woman -- who might be a knockout 21 year old valued manager at her company, or who might not be -- is unconditionally willing to dominate a man she respects?

You are going to grieve yourself out of this relationship. It is a wonder you haven't already.



Pepe
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25 Apr 2022, 10:25 pm

rse92 wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh it's not the hill I wanted to let the relationship die on, it's just whenever I brought up the problem before, online or with people I know, their response is to give up and go for someone else. I know not everyone is absolutely perfect for each other, but in order for a relationship to survive, do they have to be perfect for each other, and no relationship can work with compromises?

Plus when it was said that she doesn't feel comfortable dominating because she respects me, is this common in women that they only want to dominate women they do not respect? This could be why the only two dominatrix types I know, were not dating material and were not interested in a relationship?


STOP overthinking this.

Why do you ask if it is common? Do you want to find a woman -- who might be a knockout 21 year old valued manager at her company, or who might not be -- is unconditionally willing to dominate a man she respects?

You are going to grieve yourself out of this relationship. It is a wonder you haven't already.


Sometimes I feel that ironpony is simply boasting. 8)