saying the opposite of what you want when mad

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27 Apr 2022, 4:41 pm

For instance I’ll be very hungry and when it’s taking way too long and I get impatient I’ll say “you know I don’t think I’m hungry” instead of “I’m getting more hungry and just want to to eat now!” Or if we have to cancel my psychologist appointment and Am told I have to wait until next week I’ll be like “I don’t want to go next week either” instead of “I wish a could have gone today.” Does anyone else have this habit when angry or frustrated?

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Aspie1
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28 May 2022, 11:08 am

That's actually pretty brilliant. There's nothing NTs enjoy more than dangling something desired just out of an aspie's reach and watching him/her beg. Think about how therapists have a solution they can give you, but withhold it from you "for your own good" :roll: . Soooo..., saying the opposite of what you want when mad/frustrated is actually a very bad-ass social skill. It's like a masochist telling a sadist "don't hurt me!" in order to get him/her to do the opposite .

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29 May 2022, 7:39 am

I don't need to get mad for that to happen.

It happens more often if I'm angry or if I did not slow down myself enough to say something as I intended.
Usually when I'm too stressed, too overwhelmed with anything whether it's positive or negative.

I'd skip and/or switch words -- this includes skipping negations, substituting wrong synonyms, forgetting synonyms and "describe the meaning", misnaming and a lot of mispronouncing.

I'm just not naturally concise with words.

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KitLily
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29 May 2022, 11:10 am

Aspie1 wrote:

That's actually pretty brilliant. There's nothing NTs enjoy more than dangling something desired just out of an aspie's reach and watching him/her beg.

Now that explains a lot. I have an email friend, she will answer my emails with incomprehensible sentences. I'll reply 'what? I don't understand what you mean?' She'll reply 'are you confused, again?' I'll reply 'yes, what do you mean?' She'll reply 'don't you understand?' And it would go on like that. But now I just stop replying to her when she gets into one of those weird phases. I don't reply much to her at all now :lol:

NTs can be pretty sadistic, I've noticed it a lot. As if we're being unreasonable asking for something we need, when we're just being straightforward. Once I just went to the table and started eating because I was fed up with them laying the food out and saying no one could sit down to eat til they said so. Weird.

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Aspie1
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29 May 2022, 12:54 pm

KitLily wrote:

The email lady sounds like a sorry excuse for a human being! If I were you, I'd tell her to never contact me again, send her a warning that you'll go to go to the police if she does, then block her.

The food/table thing is more of a gray area. Did the host tell everyone they couldn't sit down or just you? If everyone, then you committed a faux pas, because the host wanted the table to look a certain way before letting the guests dig in. After all, if the other guests at the party were "cool"/"normal", then the delay in eating wasn't a ploy to mess with them or you personally. Any time you come to a dinner party, you should have room for a full meal, but not be unpleasantly hungry. In fact, I always eat a granola bar, a banana, and/or a string cheese stick right before coming to any dinner party.

But if it was just you who couldn't start eating, then your actions were well within your rights. The hosts are rotten garbage for singling you out like that, so nonverbally telling them "**** [copulate] you!" at least shows toughness on your part. If a host did that to me and just me, I'd stay for an hour or so, be all nice, then clog the toilet right before leaving their home.

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30 May 2022, 8:55 am

Aspie1 wrote:

No, no the email lady is nice 99% of the time, she just gets into weird moods sometimes when I ask a straightforward question. And English isn't her first language so there is that. But I don't contact her much.

The food/table thing was a lunch, they were telling everyone not to go to the table, but I don't care if they thought it was a faux pas with the food, they should be more aware.

I have many food intolerances, I find it hard to find anything to eat at all. For example, I can't eat a granola bar, a banana, or a string cheese. The hosts knew that. And the others were tucking into 'pre lunch food/ snacks and nibbles' right in front of me, things I couldn't eat, while I was sitting hungrily waiting, unable to eat anything.

They let it drag on and on til 2pm when I was nearly collapsing with hunger. I had to rush to the table and eat, I more or less collapsed at the table. Luckily my niece was there and ran to me, she put food on my plate and helped me. She said she also gets weak with low blood sugar sometimes so she understood. The hosts didn't notice what happened, they ignored the fact my niece had to help me. I'm not going there again.

People (I don't mean you because you don't know me, but general people) seem to think it's a joke when others struggle with variable blood sugar, but it is no joke, believe me.

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