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Feeling like I'll miss out if a don't go to a festival

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chris1989
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30 Apr 2022, 2:12 pm

In my local area there is a festival going on which had postponed for two years and is back on again. A part of me wants to go just because of the carnival atmosphere and still take my mask(s) just in case. But another part of me is telling me don't go because in the past when these festivals I've at times felt self-conscious of myself and thinking I'm the only one on my own down there wandering around the sights when there are other people my age or younger with friends, girlfriends, and boyfriends having a good time and laughing and drinking. I always seemed to think that if you haven't a bunch of friends who like to have a good time having lots to drink and getting drunk yourself then it's like you haven't ''lived life''. I've never got drunk even when I went at out once around the pubs in my local area.



klanka
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30 Apr 2022, 5:28 pm

An autistic person going to a festival..... how do you think that's going to work out?

Go if you wish, but if it doesn't go well then ye know why



PhosphorusDecree
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30 Apr 2022, 5:52 pm

From my own experience of this kind of situation, I'd suggest just visiting the festival for an hour or two. Long enough for you to enjoy the atmosphere and fun, but not long enough to get too overstimulated or overwhelmed by feelings of exclusion.


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klanka
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01 May 2022, 2:58 am

I was in a bad mood when I posted the above comment. I agree with phosphorus decree though



beady
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01 May 2022, 3:13 am

There are probably others at the festival who are solo visitors. It is true that most people only like to go with others and the singles may be hard to pick out.
If you truly enjoy the festival then plan ahead what you want to see or do - then go, but have an exit plan in mind if you start to feel uncomfortable.
Its not a good idea to drink much though, as you dont have someone to watch out for you. Not sure if you're saying you've never gotten drunk ever, because thats easy enough to experiment with on your own at home.
Hope its a fun event for you! :)



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01 May 2022, 6:21 am

I think you should try and go there. You can always decide to leave if you are too uncomfortable.

If you don't go, you may keep regretting and thinking about it later. I always try to take action if I am not sure what to do. That way at least I can find out the consequences and learn from it.



chris1989
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01 May 2022, 10:57 am

temp1234 wrote:
I think you should try and go there. You can always decide to leave if you are too uncomfortable.

If you don't go, you may keep regretting and thinking about it later. I always try to take action if I am not sure what to do. That way at least I can find out the consequences and learn from it.


I did go there but didn't go to see the parades or have a look round the fair because I felt I had seen it all before and feelings of awkwardness and envy were starting to kick especially when I've lots of other young people going down there presumably just to hang around and get a drink and so on and were with friends and partners and so on. I ended up going down to edges of the streets where it was all going on and then decided to turn back home. I also maybe felt like I wasn't keen on wandering around with lots of people jamming the streets especially as covid is still around but obviously not as terrible as it was before and I even felt bad because it is as though I didn't ''live'' or ''learn to live'' because the virus isn't going anywhere.



Joe90
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01 May 2022, 1:41 pm

chris1989 wrote:
In my local area there is a festival going on which had postponed for two years and is back on again. A part of me wants to go just because of the carnival atmosphere and still take my mask(s) just in case. But another part of me is telling me don't go because in the past when these festivals I've at times felt self-conscious of myself and thinking I'm the only one on my own down there wandering around the sights when there are other people my age or younger with friends, girlfriends, and boyfriends having a good time and laughing and drinking. I always seemed to think that if you haven't a bunch of friends who like to have a good time having lots to drink and getting drunk yourself then it's like you haven't ''lived life''. I've never got drunk even when I went at out once around the pubs in my local area.


A lot of people go to these events as families. Couldn't you have gone with your parents or siblings or other family, or didn't they want to go?

I've never, ever been drunk in my life either. I don't drink at all. I only drink soft drinks. Each time I go to a pub I get a coke with ice and lemon.
I'm surrounded by people that do drink and do talk about drinking. It does make me feel like an alien at times.


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beady
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05 May 2022, 10:54 pm

chris1989 wrote:
temp1234 wrote:
I think you should try and go there. You can always decide to leave if you are too uncomfortable.

If you don't go, you may keep regretting and thinking about it later. I always try to take action if I am not sure what to do. That way at least I can find out the consequences and learn from it.


I did go there but didn't go to see the parades or have a look round the fair because I felt I had seen it all before and feelings of awkwardness and envy were starting to kick especially when I've lots of other young people going down there presumably just to hang around and get a drink and so on and were with friends and partners and so on. I ended up going down to edges of the streets where it was all going on and then decided to turn back home. I also maybe felt like I wasn't keen on wandering around with lots of people jamming the streets especially as covid is still around but obviously not as terrible as it was before and I even felt bad because it is as though I didn't ''live'' or ''learn to live'' because the virus isn't going anywhere.


That was brave of you. I' m quite worried about covid still so I still wear a mask but I'm sure that would be harder for younger people.
I try not to care much what people might think. Old(er) people get to wallow in weirdness just a tiny bit more easily than younger adults.