Confidence is bunk. Here's why.

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We've all at some point or another seen a short fat bald man walk up to women with all the confidence in the world and flirt with them. And the response is always: echww go away you creepy pervert.

But when a tall handsome man with a sports car does the exact same thing, it is sexy and romantic and the women love it.

People like to claim it's about having confidence, but that's utter bullsh!t. The man in the first scenario did not lack confidence.

Of course, after being consistently rejected hundreds of times, anyone's confidence will erode eventually. And then people show up after that and say og well the problem clearly is that you lack confidence. No, it's not.

A friend of mine whom I've known for close to 20 years has confirmed to me that I did not lack confidence in my undergrad years. Yet I still never could get a girlfriend even back then. My problems have nothing to do with a lack of confidence. Nobody wants me because I'm an unlovable autistic freak.

Im an autistic freak, too….so what?

And people who just go up to women out of the blue are usually scorned by women no matter how good-looking they are.

You’re stuck in an ideology. The only way to escape it is by forceful action against the ideology.

There’s other methods other than cold coming up to people.

Even animal males have to sometimes (literally) kiss butt in order to get sex.

None of those methods ever worked for me. They only work attractive men, and whenever unattractive men attempt them they're labeled creeps and perverts.

None of these methods ever worked for me, either. and I've been called a creep and pervert for trying those methods. I'm a 5 foot 4 3/4 inch guy who exudes nerdiness. When I exuded both neediness and nerdiness, women recoiled from me, and said (outwardly and inwardly), "ewwww!"

I had to find roundabout ways of finding love. Including being friends with someone first. Or writing poems to a woman on a subway train (unsuccessful). Or meeting someone at work (successful).

I think confidence is but one factor. But, to treat it as the end all be all is bunk.

When it comes to confidence yeah you can have it but at the end of the day it doesn't matter what you think of yourself. It matters what that interviewer at a potential job in front of you thinks of you.

I just feel better when I'm more confident in myself-----than when I'm less confident in myself.

When I am confident in myself, there is a basis for it-----but this basis is not etched in stone. When I am not confident in myself, I feel there is a basis for that, too----but this is not etched in stone, either.

Basically, I try to choose the "glass half-full" philosophy in my life. I might not have a total 'basis" for it----but there is, at least, a 3/4 basis for it.

This should not be a "black and white" thing. It's not like there's always a total basis for confidence, or that confidence is 100% "bunk."

My honest belief is that Dorkseid is going to be around a long time, not exactly satisfied with his life----like many of us.

He possesses an intensity of feeling in his mind-----and he has a perfectionist view of things in general. I hope he will be able to see the merits and the beauty of women who are 40 or older.

He's gone through stuff in the past. Like my mother, he hasn't totally gotten over the "stuff" as of yet.

Sometimes, it's hard for a person of a depressive mindset, perhaps exacerbated by chemical/biological things, to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Confidence isn't the be-all and end-all of dating. One can have adequate confidence, but still struggle with dating for other reasons.

Losing confidence after so much rejection and no success is to be expected. You shouldn't be blamed for your lack of confidence, or expected to flip a switch and become confident.

At the same time, lacking confidence is pretty much always going to make dating more difficult. While lacking confidence isn't to blame for your lack of success with women, it can only further hurt your chances. When you lack belief in your ability to appeal to women, you're going to be less inclined to risk rejection, understandably perceiving it as a forgone conclusion. A hesitancy to take risks or meet new people, and a vigilant avoidance of instances where one may be rejected, is going to hinder one's chances of finding a partner.

Ahhh. A fresh thread to chew on the gristle of life.