Is it my fault that I have few friends ?

Post Reply New Topic

I do seem to resent the fact that when I was at school I didn't always inter-grate with mainstream kids and I don't if that was because I had been to specialist primary school for other people with autism and had got used to being around more autistic kids than with those who didn't and that I wasn't used to trying to socialise with non-autistic children.

I do seem to remember as time went on I did become social with the mainstream but I still wouldn't meet up with anyone after school or go to their house or somewhere. I think I did get invites from some people but didn't go because I don't know if it was because doing something else out of the routine of being at school and that doing something because someone has invited me to do something out the usual routine of going home at the end of the day was daunting for me. I see people now who went to the same school as I did and think to myself ''Why didn't I make friends with them?'' ''Are they not interested in me because they don't know me and that I didn't make the effort to engage with them ?'' And so is it those reasons why they probably don't talk to me ?

I remember when everybody was going on the new phenomenon of social media, I joined it and tried to be friends with people I recognised from school. Some befriended but not all and I tried to make myself look interesting like other people were doing by posting photos but most of mine were not of going to parties and things, they were of my artwork, a concert I went, and some other places I went to. Eventually it became frustrating and I stopped it and then resorted to posting sometimes persistent negative statuses (eg: Sigh.... Having a bad day, Why won't people talk to me ? etc) or sending messages to people other than ''friends'' especially people from school who weren't friends of mine to get them to see how I was feeling and if they could relate to my feelings but would just get ignored, blocked or whatever and if they did message me back, they'd get annoyed or angry at me.

I feel they got fed up with me and disillusioned with me now that they now don't hardly respond to me now and I think it has given them the impression that I someone with serious issues or depression. I do blame myself for not being more social enough and then maybe I would have had close friends to go to a concert with or a drink somewhere. I also feel as though I'm angry at them for not being a friend of mine.

I cant say if its your fault cos I dont know you.

Youd have to ask someone who does interact with you like family.

I wouldn't ask that question on here if I were you, as the response will just imply that you're physically unattractive, which will hurt your confidence and self-esteem. I've already been told that here, even when I said I have had guys liking me, I was then told that it's because I look naive and vulnerable, not because I'm attractive.

So because of WP I now think that I'm ugly.

But I think the real reason behind why me and you don't have many friends is because we don't drink. Our culture seems to value drinking, and teetotal people like myself feel like an alien in this world.

I think the OP has the same sort of Asperger's personality type as me. We're both extremely high-functioning to the point of sometimes feeling NT, we overthink problems and overanalyze our lives, we desire friendships and normality and we worry that we're not succeeding like our NT peers. (I'm sorry if that isn't accurate for the OP, please do correct me if I'm wrong, as it is annoying when people make assumptions but I just get that feeling from your posts that you're so similar to me).

Some of us have the type of ''too socially skilled to know that we're socially awkward, too socially awkward to socially perform skillfully'' autism. To me it just feels like an untreatable social anxiety.