autisticelders wrote:
I suspect that many of us have developed these sorts of skills when we find being direct and honest does not work in many situations. Particularly when we are children and at the absolute mercy of so many others who do not have good intentions toward us. Survival in real terms especially during our childhood might depend on how well we do this.
Great point, and one I really relate to.
I think NTs also rarely understand or even think there could be different social skills/values for autistic people. If we're considerate then we're told we're "too polite," but the alternative is that we have no manners. If we're direct then it's bad because NTs don't like it. It never occurs to them that it may be helpful, and different, for us. We're constantly told we lack empathy, as very different people tell us what we think and feel, instead of listening. And we're told we're selfish while being pressured to make sure our behavior always pleases NTs. This can only lead to odd, unhealthy coping mechanisms.