Why Am I Uncomfortable Hanging Out Outside of School?

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 8 May 2022
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Posts: 1
Location: Connecticut, USA

08 May 2022, 7:31 pm

Since I dropped my toxic friends in 2019, I haven’t been able to stay comfortable while hanging out with any of my new friends. Prior to 2019, I was only friends with two other girls at a time, and the people would change (this happened once) but it would always be me and two other girls and we were all friends. Now I have mainly guy and non-binary amab friends and I’m okay talking over discord but I will not hang out with them in person outside of school. And my two new girl friends that I’m not as close with I feel MORE uncomfortable being around them. My therapist believes it’s because I don’t like unpredictability, but I don’t know if that explains every aspect of the feeling. To be more descriptive, the discomfort I feel is the same someone might feel if they thought they were being objectified or being hit on but you don’t know for sure so you don’t say anything. I don’t know if I just get so uncomfortable around girls now because of what happened to me in 2019 and prior when I was friends with my old toxic girlfriends or what


User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 82,728
Location: Queens, NYC

22 May 2022, 9:02 am

You HAVE friends….isn’t that what’s important?

You’ve done a lot better than me at age 17.


Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 575
Location: Cardiff, Wales

22 May 2022, 10:35 am

It depends what happened w/the toxic friends. I noticed recently that I have a nonsensical aversion to people who resemble those who have abused me in the past.