How is your relationship with your father?

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Could have been better. I don't really mind though (I let go of these things in the end). I had to accept the fact that he doesn't care about me, and I mean that in a way where there's zero actual ability to feel; even if I care still, as he's my father and did provide (to be fair, my mother kinda was the one behind much of it in the end, the brains). He had/has Autism.

I just dislike how he treated my mother.

Honestly basically non-existent. Same with the rest of my immediate family members.

My dad was a good dad, all in all. He has his faults, but he cared about us, and he did his best. He spent a lot of time at work, but I knew when he came home that everything was going to be alright. He was always happy to see us, and he loved spending time with us. Even though he is shy by nature, he protected me from the more problematic adults in my life. Sometimes he even protected me from Mom. Most of the time though he was just a thoughtful and comforting presence in the house. If I was anxious about something he always knew how to calm me down: he'd take me for a long walk or a bike ride, or bring me somewhere I could climb something. Once he took me to a big pile of sand near a construction site and let me play in it with some other random kids. He was the steady parent in my life.

Good but distant or in a pause.

Not his fault.

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As a kid my relationship with him was weird. He and I have always gotten on well, but he was absent for a lot of my childhood. He left me in pretty bad situation with my mom and he knew how bad it was, but he was off doing his own thing. He'd show up and pay the bills once a month, hang out with me a bit, fight with my mom a bit, then leave again for a month. I had a hard time seeing him as a parent, but also a hard time seeing him as a bad guy because of how awful my mom was. He was a saint next to her and as I said before, he and I always got on well, so he was a likeable saint.

These days my relationship with my dad is great. He's a different person now and feels bad for how he was when I was a kid. We still get along really well. I still like the guy. He's smart, funny, nonjudgmental, easy going, and really seems to care about others. He's my go to person if I need a sounding board or advice. I respect his opinions and trust his judgement. Plus, he's easy for me to talk to and that's a rare thing in my actual life. I'm not sure if I interact with him like he's a dad. I still struggle with seeing him as a parent. He's more like a friend than a father, and I'm okay with that because he's become a damn good friend to me. It works.

Our relationship was…..interesting. I was close to him when younger but he was an alcoholic that got worse with age. My parents ended up splitting. The “fun times” I remember was him taking me to bars as a toddler. As awful as it sounds I remember it as fun because I didn’t know any better. I remember sitting at the bar propped up on phone books eating mozzarella sticks or a brownie sundae. He also took me to local parks on days out. Sometimes I’ll hear an 80s song by Journey or Billy Joel or something and it brings me back to the bar. It’s very odd because I get very angry with him at times, but at the same time, there’s a bond that can’t be broken

My family is weird because I'm adopted on my dad's side and in contact with my biological father. My adopted dad was great when I was little, but we had more conflicts as I grew up. I don't feel like we have a lot in common.

My biological father didn't raise me, so I don't know what kind of dad he would have been. Maybe a bad one. But we have a good relationship now, as adults.

Good. He had to work away a lot when I was growing up so I wouldn't be as close as I am with my mum though.

He always encouraged us academically growing up , it could get a bit much at times.

He's always been very patient and level headed, and he'd need to be for the work he does. But I get frustrated with his overly optimistic thinking at times. An everything will work out in the end' sort of approach to life.

I always got the feeling he was hoping I'd one day just grow out of being awkward,shy and weird. And that because I studied so much I'd of course go on to get a good job. Now I'm nearly 30, still at home with a s**t job and it wasn't a bit of 'shyness' or 'being a bit distractible', it was autism and ADHD. So I'm a little bitter and about that, could I have got help sooner if hadn't kept saying things were ok when they weren't?.

Aside from that we get on fine. I recently learned to drive and he spent ages teaching me, and being my sponser driver when I had to get up early for work every day.

We never bonded. He tried, and gave me what he had wanted, but didn't know what I needed. I did pick up some of his habits, though, like not repeating things, and being very handy.

There is none, he's long been dead.

My relationship with his memory is complicated.

None, as he’s been gone almost 4 decades.

While he was alive, I was his scapegoat. He had no use for musicians.He would put me down every chance he got. The worst was my senior year in high school. I was one of 2 featured soloists in the high school band’s night of music (the other soloist was my cousin.)Anyhow, the music starts, and the next thing I see out in the auditorium is dad making a jackass out of me. You can guess who forgot his solo, since everything was done from memory. This king of bullsh!t continued all through college and graduate school.

When I got my first job, post college, it was with the same company he worked for. I was not only his scapegoat, I also ended up being his slave, since he managed a convenience store. Any other employee could get away with murder, but let me screw up in the slightest, and the threats of termination and eviction from HIS would flow freely, since, to him, I was no-good, lazy, rotten sonofabeeyotch. I had no social life because I was on call 24/7/365 and had 2 minutes to report for work or be fired. It was only after I accepted a job offer for a major library automation firm outside of Chicago, that he showed me any kind of respect. He died 9 months after I took that position from cancer of the liver, 2 weeks before his 51st birthday.

Bad then good. He is the only person that i dont have to mask around as he is also an aspie. I am so glad to have him as my dad.

My father was a farmers son and an architect and a sailor. What he didn't know he could figure out.
I think that perhaps he favoured me to my 5 years younger brother.
Maybe because he brought me to do stuff, and my brother got jelous so he took him to a similar experience with a less good experience for both of them.
He taught me surviving in the wild, eg digging into the snow to survive a blizzard high up in the mountains.
He taught me sailing (he had sailed on a schooner across the Atlantic when ~16 yo, so not just the basics).
He taught me long distance ice skating and how to judge the ice conditions (important skill when you're 10 km away from shore).
He taught me woodworking at a basic level (he could get things done, but wasn't a cabinet maker).
He tried to teach me driving cars, forklifts and bulldozers, but didn't push it when I showed no interest.
When I instead showed interest in drawing (something he couldn't do, except for blueprints of buildings) he encouraged me.
He trusted me to near stupid extent.
I remember once, we were canoeing (he had built the canoe) in some rapids and put me up front in charge of steering away from dangerous rocks.
He encouraged me to climb mountains and ships riggs without any safety equipment.
He loved sports, but sacrificed one of the most popular weekly events to take me swimming since there would be less people there then.
And soo much more...
He passed in 1999, a month after my mother.
I miss them both, but I have to say I miss him more.

/Mats

Good I guess. My dad was an eccentric scientist. He's a hands off kind of parents and I was an independent kid. Sometimes we do fun things together like friends. He's not authoritative or preachy in anyway. He asked for my input in all important decisions. Of course he's autistic as well so maybe that's why he adored me. I know I was the only person he trusted, other than himself.

There is probably a major difference in paternal relationships according to which parent had the AS. In my case, it was mother, and father never understood why we didn't react as expected. After she left, I became unwelcome at 17. I tracked him down five years later, and he was busy that day but seemed happy enough to invite me back soon. He then died suddenly. When I got the news, I went right back to what I was doing.

Complex. My dad was never present much, my mum is dead. My mum never showed me any love. My dad is a typical man born in 1939, self aborbed, deeply bigoted and hard to talk to. We have a good relationship because I work on it, because I am all he has