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firemonkey
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12 May 2022, 4:15 am

That reads tweets from autistic people and finds themself doubting their dx. It seems to be full of autistic people having the worst sensory etc symptoms you could imagine while still doing very well achievement wise.



autisticelders
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12 May 2022, 6:11 am

I don't do twitter, but I do "do" facebook. I belong to several groups.

In each group, just like this one, there are people who are struggling to get by and struggling to do even the most basic things in life successfully, many are not able to live independently. I also see highly paid professional people, successful athletes , successful artists and musicians, and I see a whole lot of people who have lived very difficult lives in one way or another and are "in between" the range of performance.

I learned long ago not to compare myself with others. There is always somebody more beautiful, richer, more successful socially or financially, better dressed, smarter, more skilled, etc. I was always sad and frustrated, why could I not be more like those folks?

Then I learned that if I look the other way, there are others with infinitely more struggles than me. Worse health, worse living conditions, worse physical appearance, worse social struggles, worse everything.

We are who we are and there is no point in comparing ourselves and our situations with others.

There will always be those doing better and always be those doing worse no matter who or where we are.

Be the best you that you can be (and I know you work to do this every day. I look for your thought provoking posts and your answers and responses to others on this board.) Sending best wishes and admiration.


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firemonkey
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12 May 2022, 9:45 am

I think it's the combination that has me questioning things, rather than the intensity of symptoms and high achievement taken separately.
Taken separately there's nothing overly unusual about them.

It's certainly not a case of being overawed by the level of intelligence on display. Except when imposter syndrome raises its head above the water. For a number of reasons to do with life experiences and personal shortcomings I've not made good use of a reasonably good mind. 'Reasonably good' in that I have entries here and here.

I've never been good looking. That was first made clear by monkey chants directed at me by other boys while waiting for a class to start. I've never been good socially. In both cases I'm nearer to the last on the list than to the first. As you rightly say there are always who are doing better or worse than us though.

Physically I'm not in tip top shape, but could be a lot worse. It's taken quite a while since the falls last October, and partial hip replacement last December, to walk without use of a frame. I've only felt able to do so in the last month or so.



Sigi
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12 May 2022, 10:54 am

Sometimes I feel a little jealous of the ones who can mask well enough to get good jobs.

Like I know how exhausting it is, but even when I try my hardest to fit in and seem normal I'm always 'off' or can't sustain it for very long. So when I read tweets and stuff from autistic people who say 'you wouldn't know there was anything wrong with me' I'm just a bit like, damn, I wish that were me. And to do well in life despite the overload they must feel at times is impressive, so kudos.

But autisticelders said, there are a lot of people far worse off than me. Some who will probably never have job or do much independently.



Radish
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12 May 2022, 12:18 pm

Don't compare yourself to others, we are all different. I've had a lifetime of learning to adapt and how to react to people and what to say and not to say to fit in. I'm so high functioning people think I'm normal until they get to really know me then they just think I'm a bit weird and obsessive about some topics. I do have the occasional meltdown or low functioning moment every now and then though. Only the other day in the supermarket an announcement was made that they were going to test the fire alarm system. I gritted my teeth and waited for the inevitable siren. Instead they just kept repeating the same announcement every 20 seconds. I got so stressed out that after five minutes of this I had to abandon my shopping trolley and leave the store. I was left trembling and with a headache for an hour afterwards.


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kraftiekortie
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12 May 2022, 12:22 pm

That's right.

The only solution to this if for you to be you......and for those so-called "high-functioning" people to be them.

There are people here who are much more accomplished in certain things than I am. If I were to get upset at this all the time, I wouldn't feel like bothering to post here.

I post here because I have a right to post here-----because I have an equal right to post here over somebody who has a PhD, and who makes genius posts all the time.

Yes, I have envy----but I also realize I might have virtues that this other person doesn't have.

I understand why you lament about things, Firemonkey. But you have virtues, too. And people, like your stepdaughter and those kids in your picture, know this, too.



firemonkey
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12 May 2022, 1:15 pm

I don't think I've ever deliberately masked. I just don't have what's needed to process things IRT and adjust accordingly. Sometimes I see autistic twitter as being like an 'achievement' version of Monty Python's '4 Yorkshiremen sketch' 'I got a first class degree while experiencing intense sensory symptoms','That's nothing. I was catatonic but got a PhD in astrophysics ' OK - an exaggeration, but I hope you can get where I'm coming from.

KraftieKortie you have an admirable attitude about things. I'm on several high IQ FB groups that have extremely gifted members, and I'm constantly questioning whether I should leave because I'm not good enough. Nobody's ever said 'You're not good enough to be on the group' to me .