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HeroOfHyrule
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16 May 2022, 9:02 pm

My therapist said that I should disclose my autism to my manager, but I don't have a formal diagnosis so I don't know if I should (or even can) do that. She suggested that I do that because I've been getting burnt out over work, and it's negatively affecting my self esteem since I'm expected to fit allistic standards of productivity and socialization, which I can't do, and is leaving me feeling completely inept and like a burden on my coworkers.

Should I disclose my autism to my manager, even without a diagnosis? Can she ask me to provide proof of diagnosis? I don't even expect to get any specific accommodations, but I think it would be less frustrating for everyone involved if my manager was aware that I'm not just choosing to not meet the productivity quota (my issues with processing and coordination are preventing me from getting past 60% of the quota), and not just choosing to have issues socializing with her and my coworkers. Everyone's finally starting to get frustrated at me and I feel terrible because I'm not being difficult on purpose.



IsabellaLinton
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16 May 2022, 9:09 pm

If you did have a diagnosis then I tend to believe disclosure is OK. It's sad that you're already dealing with burnout and you aren't getting any type of support or accommodation. Chances are, you would benefit from just a few simple changes to your day and it wouldn't be an inconvenience for anyone.

Given you don't have a diagnosis you could still consider getting a doctor's note to explain individual needs. Doctors' notes for accommodation don't need to give a formal diagnosis for any condition but they can still make specific recommendations. Your doctor could say that you need a break every ________ , you need noise-cancelling headphones, you need access to a chair, etc. They don't need to say why, or at least they don't where I live.

Your doctor knows you have ADHD and in my opinion that's reason enough for a lot of accommodations. You can't be expected to keep a train of thought without breaks. You might get overwhelmed by sensory input. All of that can be related to ADHD, if push comes to shove about your reasons for accommodation.



SpaceMartian
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17 May 2022, 4:39 pm

That depends on how your manager and company is like. It could be a bad idea and change stuff for the worse, could have no effect or it could make things better for you. Now, from my perspective, if you are having a hard time coping and you don't see yourself or want to stay there for a long time, or have no real aspiration to climb the ladder within the company, then disclose. If it goes better, good on you. If it's the same... it's the same. If it goes worse, quit and find something else.
Nothing prevents you from looking for a better job already, maybe see what other options you have, then disclose, and if it doesn't work, jump to something else.
Pilots are told a very important lesson for flying planes: be patient but if the thing is going down and whatever you are doing isn't working... do something different.
It makes sense, worse case you die the same, best case, you save the day. Is it worth trying? That's up to you.



WarpedWing
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24 May 2022, 11:52 am

I recently disclosed to my employer that I am on the autistic spectrum without an official diagnosis. I honestly believe that if you are truly are ND and are trying your hardest to do a good job at work and your employer isn't total garbage that they will understand and be willing to help. If you're floundering at work, you may as well tell them. If you don't get the accommodation you need, your time there is numbered anyway.



Joe90
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24 May 2022, 12:44 pm

It depends on how your autism affects you. It doesn't really affect me where I work, but it affected me at my previous job a bit, because it was at a care home and I found talking to deaf patients exhausting, and dealing with angry patients terrifying, even though I knew they couldn't help it and I knew they weren't targeting me personally. But I was still too sensitive to emotions and actions, and I'd often have panic attacks when I was forced to work on a wing I wasn't comfortable with. I also have a fear of virus germs like norovirus, which often circulated the care home and it was so easy to catch even if you wore PPE and washed your hands regularly. Also there were other viruses there that were less easy to catch but still made me anxious. I don't think that's much to do with autism but I did feel anxious and under pressure there.

My current job is different and very Aspie/ADHD-friendly by nature, but no-one knows I have either (well some might get the gist that I have ADHD but definitely not autism). At my previous job they did know about both diagnoses but they still made me do things that made me uncomfortable and anxious even though there were plenty of things to do that were more suitable for me. They just did it to be awkward, then accused me of being awkward. I suppose having ASD or ADHD can make you awkward but I wasn't being awkward on purpose, I just had anxiety attacks and I couldn't handle some things that others could.


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kraftiekortie
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24 May 2022, 1:06 pm

It depends on the employer.

In most cases, though, I wouldn't disclose.

If you worked in computers/IT, then I might consider it. In a blue collar situation, certainly not.

On my job, no way would I disclose.



Joe90
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24 May 2022, 2:14 pm

Well the main reason I don't disclose is because I feel embarrassed about it and I don't like people knowing I have a label.

Sometimes people who know I have it bring it up in conversations and I hate hearing the word or being reminded that I'm the one with it. I'm free of all that at work. At school and college I was seen as a word instead of a person, (from the ages of about 8 to 17), then at my previous job they had to know because I had a job coach who helped me get the job so obviously they had to know.

At my current job (no job coach were involved when I got this job, as I cut off from them completely because I felt I didn't need them any more), it's so nice to be perceived as NT and treated like one. Yes I may be a bit quirky or absent-minded but they can believe what they want, as long as nobody knows about my terrible shame.

I still worry to this day that the employer at my previous job might have exposed the ASD to my current employer when giving a reference. I heard they're not supposed to pass on confidential information like that, but I also know that what people should do and what people do do can be two different things.
And because I was so used to the words "...and she has Asperger's syndrome" being added to any descriptions of me from one person to another when I was growing up, it makes me worry that everyone knows without me knowing that they know, like it has to be mentioned.


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Fnord
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24 May 2022, 2:22 pm

Disclosing a condition for which you have no official diagnosis can get you fired for malingering.

You may be better off to tell your therapist you need an official diagnosis in writing before you risk disclosure.

If you disclose, and you have an official diagnosis, you may have reason to take legal action against your employer if you get fired.



rse92
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25 May 2022, 2:38 pm

Your therapist is derelict in his or her duties to you. Rather than work with you on developing coping mechanisms or avenues for reducing stress and anxiety in your life, the therapist would have you disclose to your employer, leave you to the mercies of the employer, and risk your job.



Moloko
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03 Jul 2022, 11:31 am

Hey there. Here's my perspective as a lawyer and former ADA coordinator. First, you don't have to disclose anything, it's up to you. One thing about Autism is it can make cause us to be a too trusting, too optimistic that the "logical" events will follow from an event, so I have personally gotten myself in trouble by being too earnest and honest when I haven't thought out the "illogical," emotion-driven and bias-driven responses of allistics. So, it's good that you are asking for second options and thinking it out before you act.

If you have ANY diagnosis and need an accommodation, you can work with your physician to ask for an ADA accomodation under American and State law. Your employer can require a letter from a doctor but cannnot require information about your specific diagnosis. If their ADA form asks for a diagnosis, politely decline to answer that question. Even if you think your request is more related to autism, it shouldn't make a difference in the ADA process. I am going to ask for an ADA accommodation under my diagnosis for bipolar (which I'm convinced is a misdiagnosis, but it's on the books!) and sensory processing disorder (a sub-set of an autism diagnosis, but sufficient to ask for dimmer lights and quiet breaks). You have legal protections once you make an ADA request. BUT employers can do the wrong and illegal thing and discriminate against you anyway, so you need to judge the entire situation and decide what is worth it to you.

Disclosing without making an ADA request puts you in a more vulnerable situation because you have no strong legal protection. Employers can make up many excuses to fire or harass a person. Check out the strength of your HR department and ask others in the organization who have made ADA accommodations how it went, if you are aware of such people. I've chosen to work in government, in large part because protections are stronger and more respected.

You can think about a "soft disclosure." Instead of saying, "I am autistic and it means . . ." you can say, "I have strengths in x, y, and z. I have trouble with ___ and it would help me be most successful if _______." This is a common thing for employers to discuss with their managers and doesn't "out" you or associate you with a whole lot of baggage, falsehoods, and bias associated with the term autistic. My "soft disclosure" would say something like, "I am very organized and able to focus on a task intensely in order to complete projects quickly and accurately. In order to work with those strengths, though, I need to minimize distractions for certain periods of time. Is it ok if I have office hours and set appointments to work collaboratively instead of having people pop in all day long, with exceptions for truly urgent business?"

Good luck!



hmk66
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05 Jul 2022, 3:33 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It depends on the employer.

In most cases, though, I wouldn't disclose.

If you worked in computers/IT, then I might consider it. In a blue collar situation, certainly not.

On my job, no way would I disclose.


Not disclosing is a good idea. I trusted my boss a bit too much, and I notice that he treats me like a child with low intellect and a learning disorder. It isn't easy for me to get a better job, but I think I will demand him to stop manipulation, gaslighting and discriminiation, or I will take him to the court, also accusing him of fraud, corruption and slander. My boss diagnosed me with a learning disorder behind my back and the doctor that should diagnose me agrees with him, so I have a learning disorder. I myself never saw him. I will demand him to give a proof that I have a learning disorder (and that I had a meeting with him; I know there is no proof). There are a lot of things that I have to find out! I am not ready with him, not by a long shot.



Nades
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05 Jul 2022, 4:09 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It depends on the employer.

In most cases, though, I wouldn't disclose.

If you worked in computers/IT, then I might consider it. In a blue collar situation, certainly not.

On my job, no way would I disclose.


I would never disclose in general. We all know the stigma surrounding the public perception of autism sadly.

I work in blue collar and if I disclosed, I doubt much will actually happen but it's a roll of the dice regardless of where you work.



rse92
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05 Jul 2022, 3:31 pm

I am a lawyer myself (not an ADA lawyer). I am five to eight years from retirement, though my firm is in no ways in a hurry for me to leave and will like need to hire 1.5 lawyers to fill my role. I have handled legal matters throughout the United States and North America as well as well as in several European and Asian countries and in South America. My experience is wide ranging and includes advising troubled companies. You'd recognize the names of a number of my present and past clients, financial institutions, businesses and individuals.

I would NEVER disclose to my law firm. After I retire yes. Until then, I live with it.



stratozyck
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06 Jul 2022, 11:27 am

My vote is no.

A therapist is going to be biased and think everyone is accomodating and understanding.

They are not.

They will see it as making excuses, and immediately think you are setting grounds for a lawsuit if they fire you.

What they will do is put you on a personal improvement plan that specifically mentions autism accomodations, get you to sign off on it (thereby covering their ass) and if you fail to meet up to it, you are gone.

Instead, ask for specific things that could help. Like “I need more instructions in writing.”



chealy5
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08 Jul 2022, 7:07 am

I echo the seeming consensus against disclosure. An ADA request is not a guarantee that you will get the accommodations you request. The employer is only bound by the “reasonable” criterion, so if it would not be reasonable for the business, they don’t have to grant it. Further, if the request you make is related to not being able to execute a core function of your job, they do not have to grant the request.

I don’t want to impugn the therapist, so I am going to assume naïveté rather than incompetence. But I don’t understand why they would not go ahead and move to a formal diagnosis. But maybe I misunderstand the situation.

I think unfortunately if you are only able to achieve 60% quota in a production job, it is probably better to look for another job as soon as possible while you are still in your current role.