Being late to find out about your Aspergers Syndrome

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Noamx
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18 May 2022, 1:17 am

Well, I thought to talk to you about being late to find out about your Aspergers Syndrome. Or even if you have a different problem, if you were late to find out about it or not.

For me, I was quite late. Not very late, but quite late. I mean, only about age 25 I started to realize my symptoms matched Aspergers Syndrome symptoms. I also had no idea why I struggle to make new friends, and why all the girlfriends I had have left me so fast. They disappeared so fast, like a car driving at 100 mph. Yeah, it was so fast, I couldnt notice it coming. In fact, many of my girlfriends I used to have have never even got laid with me, they just left after the first date. Those who stayed until the third or maybe even 4th date, have left right after. I dont know why I suck at dating, but I guess the Syndrome is part of the problem. And yeah, I was late to find out about it because the symptoms are not clear enough. If I am interested in something, others could too, so my interests didnt appear special at all. Also, if I speak differently, they think I might be tired or something, not necessarily have Aspergers Syndrome. And so on.



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18 May 2022, 9:12 am

I was 64 before I thought to even wonder if I was Autistic. I got diagnosed a few days before my 65th birthday.

And there are people here who were diagnosed later than I was.

I figure if you aren't detected as a child than you must be doing something right. (But, nonetheless, whether we knew it, or not, we were on the Spectrum so I guess it's safe to assume were weren't doing everything "right".)


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autisticelders
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18 May 2022, 4:28 pm

I began to suspect I might be autistic about age 64 and was professionally diagnosed at age 68, I am 70 now and so have had just 2 years to sort the previous 68. Something tells me I have acquired a lifelong hobby(special interest).
Knowing about my autism after all these years has really helped me understand the problems and pains of the years before. I have been able to forgive myself for so many failures over the years and forgive others for blaming me for the constant failures... nobody knew autism was working behind the scenes. Diagnosis has been healing but best of all was finding out I am not alone. There are plenty of others "out there" and "here" who understand and who have lots of lived autistic experience, insights and ideas to share. I have no regrets about getting diagnosis even at this late age. It has been a huge relief to learn everything was not , after all, "all my fault". Best wishes!


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PassingThrough
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31 May 2022, 10:26 am

I was in my mid forties when I started seriously thinking I had Aspergers. A couple of years ago, my psychologist brought it up. It didn't take long for us to mutually agree that I had it. I haven't been formally diagnosed, because I don't think it would matter at this point. Between my psychologist's input, the online tests I've taken and research I've done, and how well it explains that lingering feeling of "falling a bit short" that I've always had, I'm certain that I have it.



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31 May 2022, 10:49 am

I was diagnosed at the age of 56, so I'd already made my own adjustments without having a name for whatever it was that I'd had to adjust to. I'd just seen it as growing up. So I suppose I had to go the long way round in developing coping strategies. There hasn't been any help since I was diagnosed, except for the adjustments my employer made with my job, which helped to stop me worrying so much about it, though I still did at times.

I guess the late realisation encouraged me to see myself as normal and perhaps stopped me from identifying myself too strongly as an Aspie - I know I have ASD but I also have a strong sense that it's not all I am.



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31 May 2022, 11:13 am

I wish I was diagnosed later, if I had to be diagnosed at all. I'm one of those standard "autism traits noticed when started school, got statemented and help at school, officially received diagnosis before age 9" type, like I was a severely non-verbal type of autistic when in actual fact I'm on the extremely high-functioning end of the spectrum, had no delays with speech but wasn't a little professor. I was just a normal kid but with anxiety and behaviour problems.


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Suzyb
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31 May 2022, 2:49 pm

I was 44 when diagnosed. Looking back, I was obviously autistic as a child and it was missed. Huge failing because school was awful for me. Children and especially adults loved to point out all my differences both physically and behaviour wise so I knew I was different, I just didn't know why. We have 3 generations so far with autism so none of us see anyone as different within the family.

Do I wish I had found out earlier? Absolutely, yes! My children would have been diagnosed earlier too and so would my nieces and nephews.



kraftiekortie
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31 May 2022, 2:55 pm

I probably benefited from being diagnosed very young.....back in the mid 1960s, 30 years before even the concept of a "Spectrum" was conceived.



Ultrarunner_Steve
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15 Jun 2022, 1:12 pm

I was diagnosed about 2 months ago at the age of 47.

It's really explained a lot about why I've felt 'out of place' my whole life along with some of my behaviours and the accompanying depression and anxiety. I'm still very much finding my way with all this and it's been a tough couple of months as there's no/minimal support for someone of my age who's just been diagnosed.

Either way I'm still glad I know, because at least now me and my family understand why I some of my 'quirks' and can accept them for what they are.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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15 Jun 2022, 1:27 pm

Autism/Aspergers was merely a thing I'd heard some stuff about before I was diagnosed in 2009 at age 46.

Then after diagnosis when I related diagnosis to some friends and some family and we looked up more about it, the pretty much unanimous refrain was, "Well ya know, that would explain that ... and that ... and that ... and that ... and ..."


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15 Jun 2022, 3:19 pm

Ultrarunner_Steve,

Welcome to WP!

When someone bumps up against one of your Autism traits I offer for your use the phrase:

"I have a doctor's note for that!"
I was diagnosed at age 64 and while it was wonderful to get the sense of understanding that came with the diagnosis, so far I haven't found any practical use for the diagnosis. Except for getting to use that phrase! (My bride was tired of hearing it before we left the Psychologist's office...but I still enjoy using the phrase when it legitimately applies.)


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When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.