Inability to have conversations
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
It depends, if you have a job where you encounter that type of thing?
If not then you could have a fun time just saying 'well sorry, but that's petty so I'm not getting involved in that'
I've said that myself to people and it feels alright.
My friend told me that an nt would have recognized the social bullying immediately and all hell would have broken lose. But because I am so socially ret*d, I simply have no ability to protect myself in a situation like that. I am as vulnerable as a toddler facing a predator.
Oh I see what you mean , I've had similar stuff happen in school and marriage. Torturous stuff like someone talking on the phone to someone in front of me..but choosing to talk about topics that bother me on purpose. This was done in the car so I couldn't get away.
I am also noticing that if people ask me to do something unexpected, that can also be debilitating even if it's a small thing. This is a very new challenge for me and it is caused by neurological and social fatigue and burnout. It doesn't even have to be an unfair or unreasonable request. Just the fact that it forces my brain to switch certain gears can be too much. For example, I just called my parents to talk to my mom. I called their land line and my dad answered. My dad is blind and has mobility issues so he asked me to call mom back on her cell phone since she was upstairs and it would be to difficult for him to bring the phone to her or to yell loudly enough for her to hear him to come down.
That is a totally reasonable request which I am more than happy to grant, but switching the gears in my brain to change tracks and call her cellphone instead, knocked me so severely and drained my energy so much that I have to take a nap first before I can do it.
So it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to do almost anything now but I can't qualify for help of any kind. Even my case workers and social workers refuse to help me do anything.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Last edited by skibum on 21 May 2022, 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
It depends, if you have a job where you encounter that type of thing?
If not then you could have a fun time just saying 'well sorry, but that's petty so I'm not getting involved in that'
I've said that myself to people and it feels alright.
My friend told me that an nt would have recognized the social bullying immediately and all hell would have broken lose. But because I am so socially ret*d, I simply have no ability to protect myself in a situation like that. I am as vulnerable as a toddler facing a predator.
Oh I see what you mean , I've had similar stuff happen in school and marriage. Torturous stuff like someone talking on the phone to someone in front of me..but choosing to talk about topics that bother me on purpose. This was done in the car so I couldn't get away.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
That is a totally reasonable request which I am more than happy to grant, but switching the gears in my brain to change tracks and call her cellphone instead, knocked me so severely and drained my energy so much that I have to take a nap first before I can do it.
I know what you are talking about well! The last burnout stage I hit was like that and it was frightening and the more I needed to do nothing the more others who were thinking they were trying to help kept trying to get me involved in things as they were fearful that I would stagnate because they did not understand... And the more they were trying to force me into situations that I had to do things the less I was able to do because I was such a mess, and it reached the point a few times where I was getting shutdowns just for someone suggesting something or very small things... Why my Mum thinks is could be a breakdown.
Problem is until I am assessed, to work out what else has been happening (As in if I was hitting burnouts or breakdowns) will have to wait as they don't know when I will be assessed.
But yes. I know how very little unexpected things can hit! Just the small things can trigger an overload...
_________________
.
Thanks, just imagine if your dog died then someone gets on the phone in front of you and talks about dogs for forty minutes, while you're in the car with them . done on purpose.
(My issue wasn't dogs, that's just an example, but the incident actually happened.)
I assume similar happened to you
Lately I have been feeling the same way too
24 finished college
Live alone
Unemployed for a long time
Now I work part time as a lot attendant
Not much conversation necessary
Day laborers and customers sometimes have the nerve to ask if I speak English
Which I find it hard to imagine they would ask if I appeared white
Their question is not necessarily racist
And even if they were, I could not ban them from the store because I don't have that authority
I could tattle to the manager but the manager might be on the day laborers side
Everyone has subconscious biases
Besides even if they do get banned nothing prevents them from coming back
But frequently they are just bothering me and zero conversation necessary
My slave plantation is in the middle of a homeless encampment
The slave plantation allows day laborers and homeless to loiter around all day long and frequent the litterbox
Otherwise the job would be a good job
________________
Communication euphemism for noise pollution
The more communication the more miscommunication
(My issue wasn't dogs, that's just an example, but the incident actually happened.)
I assume similar happened to you
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
24 finished college
Live alone
Unemployed for a long time
Now I work part time as a lot attendant
Not much conversation necessary
Day laborers and customers sometimes have the nerve to ask if I speak English
Which I find it hard to imagine they would ask if I appeared white
Their question is not necessarily racist
And even if they were, I could not ban them from the store because I don't have that authority
I could tattle to the manager but the manager might be on the day laborers side
Everyone has subconscious biases
Besides even if they do get banned nothing prevents them from coming back
But frequently they are just bothering me and zero conversation necessary
My slave plantation is in the middle of a homeless encampment
The slave plantation allows day laborers and homeless to loiter around all day long and frequent the litterbox
Otherwise the job would be a good job
________________
Communication euphemism for noise pollution
The more communication the more miscommunication
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Thanks, though I'm relieved to say it's a thing of the past for me now. I divorced the culprit and found somebody with better manners. And although I think slowly, I usually notice quickly when somebody's having a go at me, and my "fight or flight" kicks in - usually "fight," and my main problem was always to learn to temper that, to be more constructive without compromising self-defense. I don't suppose many people can experience these things without experiencing a degree of stress, and for some reason they unnerve you so much that you can't deal with the situation. I've been luckier, but I can't deny that I hate dealing with discourteous people. These days I'm reclusive and picky about who I spend time with, so my life is fairly free of it.
What you describe in your second post isn't uncommon for those with Autism or some other conditions (Schizophrenia is a common one), and it'll be exacerbated by stress from anything. No PTSD required, outside of that adding to stress, so it'll be worse than it normally would be. Those with PTSD can withdraw somewhat and neglect talking about said things, but it's different than avoiding all social interaction unless you know it'll be stress free.