Symptoms which have become weaker or disappeared

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This time, I'd like to talk to you about Asperger Syndrome symptoms which can become weaker or even disappear sometimes.

For me, one symptom was my inability to know when to talk, how to react in various social situations, and so on. Although that symptom didnt disappear, it had become weaker for sure. Today, I know very well how to react in various social situations better, and my friends feel that way too. However, I still struggle sometimes, and thats why I cant say the symptom had disappeared completely.

Another symptom is my interest in special things. The symptom is still there, I feel it so strong. I am interested in many things some people in my age havent even heard of. Its weird. But, this is one of these symptoms i dont necessarily feel shame about. I think, being interested in something special is okay. It might appear weird to others, but thats my taste and they are supposed to respect it. This symptom has weakened to a point where I can show interest in other people's interest, and that way, keep the friendship going.

Another symptom is, lack of facial expressions. When I'm happy, I dont smile much, but I think I have learned to smile a little bit more than in the past, so I think, the symptom had weakened. I still appear dull / bored even though Im happy, but I learned how to deal with it better. People receive a better impression these days, and I know how to deal with it better than before.

And another one is, well, lack of empathy / disregarding people's feelings. I know better now how to express myself in a way other people would enjoy, how to show more empathy towards their feelings and make sure I dont piss anyone off. Im good at doing that these days, but I still piss people off here and there. But, to a much lesser extent, I mean, they want to be my friend much more than in the past, and thats an improvement.

What about you?

Yes:-

Obsessions (I no longer have them or need them)

Some (not all) loud noise phobias, like barking dogs just don't seem to make me nervous or jumpy any more

Outbursts, but that might be because I'm on antidepressants

A lot of social skills have improved, like I no longer get teenagers making silly noises at me in the street so something about my gait or body language must be less noticeable than it used to be. I've improved on other social skills too

My "symptoms" disappears as soon as I have all my hormones balanced and sleep issues are not in effect.
To a point I'm a different person outside, and very sharp and lucid inside. It simply reflects.

Also, I became better by learning developmentally than relying on my body to curve things down.
Because my body refuses to be consistent.

This likely applies to potential meds I might try -- reminds me of ADHD female cases with PMDD, where their meds are basically useless at certain phases of their menstrual cycle.

So instead of tracking a set of days and a set of symptoms.
I have to track several sets of days, what and which phase, at least squared set amounts of symptoms, and what the heck did I ate for the past few weeks so far.


One of the "symptoms" of AS -- "rigidity" -- conjunct with dysregulation of emotions is what I aim to learn how to outdo myself above else.

By rigidity, I don't only mean being stuck and hung up over one thing.

It's not just about obsessions or special interests, or by needing to be somewhere predictable and familiar, or related to repetitiveness and routine -- but also aspects related to one's ingrained beliefs and opinions.

The emotional dysregulation doesn't allow a lot of room for reflection and mindful learning, whether it's the overly emotional or the unemotional bit.

It's what I've been wrestling since age 5 or so.
Which wasn't lessened with age -- it got worse with age and bodily changes instead.

So instead of relying on biological "maturity", I have to twist internal lens contexts within myself. It gets better with experience instead.

So to speak, it doesn't get better. Not really. It's not like losing hypersensitivities with aging.

It just became doable. By being better at breaking unwanted cycles.

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I’ve gotten better at adapting to my autistic situation through life experience.

I have gotten better at cognitively navigating social situations so that it appears almost seamless. I'm able to maintain relationships much better, and get along with people better, and seem less "weird" in public. What's more is that in some ways I actually seem less autistic without deliberately masking. I do not have a clumsy walk anymore like I did as a child. I come off as less "spacy." I am less visibly dyspraxic, and with age, I've only noticed having to really concentrate on my tone or facial expressions very much when I am actually in a customer service type of position.

However, with this has come extreme social anxiety, and since my two burnouts, a major loss of executive function. I do not have the degree of hyperfocus that I had when I was younger. I became even more rigidly autistic in a lot of ways, and experience speech loss episodes. I feel really, really lost in the world in ways I didn't in my 20s, even with sh***y social skills in my 20s.

So... it looks like I'm a "recovered" autist, yet really I'm not. I feel like what's happened is that yes I've gained a lot of compensation skills, and improved on a great many things, even to the point of passing as NT to a majority of people at a glance without deliberately masking (masking was more about *what* group I was trying to fit in with, than just getting by and having friends/work). However, I feel like the incline on my treadmill has just been increased.

I'm having to fight a changing economy, ageism, and declining executive function and learning ability so that whatever I learn, it just feels like I have to keep working even harder.