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Kitty4670
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21 May 2022, 11:38 pm

A woman volunteered to help me months ago, she cleaned my apartment, take out my trash, change my cat litter box, we talked too, she even bought me lunch sometimes. She was helping me get a caregiver, I got paperwork in the mail that I needed to fill out. The woman told me that she would help me, she broke her promise, she should have texted me & tell me she was very busy. She was taking care of her family, she have 12 children. If she always very busy, why she volunteered to help me. I texted her saying she should of texted me, she thinks I’m trying to make her feel guilty, I wasn’t trying to make her feel guilty. It been almost three days since we talked. And to make more things worse, I been having a hard time getting out of bed, I feel like I have no life, why should I get out of bed, I have nothing to live for. This morning, I stayed in bed until 12PM, I was depressed, my cat kept me company. Later, the plumber was here, he gave me a new toilet. I put my cat in my bedroom, she was in there for over one hour & she was meowing, I had a pretty bad anxiety attack, I couldn’t stop, I stopped much later, after the plumber left. I went to the bathroom, my new toilet still making noise, my bad anxiety came back. How can I take care of my apartment, my cat, mail & other stuff if I cannot be responsible enough. Everything is wayyyy too much for me, I feel like I’m breaking down. I’m not responsible enough, I have nobody here to help me. I feel like someday I will have another mental breakdown.


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Where_am_I
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22 May 2022, 11:19 am

Hi Kitty4670, I hope you're okay.

The volunteer should have notified you of her change of plans. It's good manners to let you know.

You were right to make her aware of that, and she should feel guilty. If she had some kind of family emergency then that would be a different story.

If you're not comfortable with this volunteer, are you able to ask for a different one? Make it clear they need to inform you of cancellations as soon as possible.



Kitty4670
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23 May 2022, 9:17 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
Hi Kitty4670, I hope you're okay.

The volunteer should have notified you of her change of plans. It's good manners to let you know.

You were right to make her aware of that, and she should feel guilty. If she had some kind of family emergency then that would be a different story.

If you're not comfortable with this volunteer, are you able to ask for a different one? Make it clear they need to inform you of cancellations as soon as possible.

Thanks for agreeing with me. When she promise me to help me before & she texted me when she can’t make it. She did say she was taking care of her family, but she still should have told me the next day.


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Where_am_I
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23 May 2022, 9:45 pm

Yes, she should have notified you as it understandably caused you a lot of anxiety.

Did you manage to explain to her how much stress it had caused you, just so she is aware how important it is to message you as soon as possible?



goldfish21
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04 Jun 2022, 1:01 pm

Is there such a thing as an assisted living facility for people like you in your State ?

Here in BC, Canada, people that are unable to care for themselves are able to get into special housing group homes that have staff to monitor them for safety, do some cooking/cleaning etc - the things that you struggle with. As far as I know, these places are almost all government funded vs. private businesses that cost huge amounts of money to residents.

But maybe without any sort of universal healthcare system where you live there are no such assisted living places ? We have them for seniors and for people with severe disabilities that prevent them from managing themselves and their daily lives. We don't have enough of them and I'm sure there's a waiting list etc, but at least we do have them.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Jun 2022, 2:42 pm

“Assisted living” sounds good….but assisted -living places seem more like nursing homes—at least the ones I have seen.



goldfish21
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04 Jun 2022, 3:14 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
“Assisted living” sounds good….but assisted -living places seem more like nursing homes—at least the ones I have seen.

AFAIK they are more like group homes than nursing homes. Large houses with multiple bedrooms and care aid staff to keep watch over things and people. Not like a big nursing home at all. From what I've heard/read, anyways - I don't have personal experience with them.. but I have heard a bit from care aids that work in those types of places.


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Kitty4670
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14 Jun 2022, 12:35 am

goldfish21 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
“Assisted living” sounds good….but assisted -living places seem more like nursing homes—at least the ones I have seen.

AFAIK they are more like group homes than nursing homes. Large houses with multiple bedrooms and care aid staff to keep watch over things and people. Not like a big nursing home at all. From what I've heard/read, anyways - I don't have personal experience with them.. but I have heard a bit from care aids that work in those types of places.

I can’t do assistance living, I have bad sensory issues & social anxiety.


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Dillogic
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14 Jun 2022, 10:02 am

Yeah, I couldn't do assisted living or a group home setting either. I can barely handle acute hospital settings and always check out long before the due date is up for my stay (kinda funny that I used to run there, but then when I got there I'd just want to go back home). I know some people with Autism find the routine and structure of those types of places helpful, but I don't, as it's not my routine in the end, and I don't trust people I'm not familiar with (which takes a long time to build). Sensory stuff too.