Anyone less willing to marry the older they get?
Maybe. I was 23 when I first met my partner and although we went through some years of long-distance relationship, we moved together five years later and quicky married. We adjusted to each other in our 20s while our personalities were still quite malleable. It's been good so far.
Malleable is a good way of putting it. The younger the better.
After 2 years of co-habitation here in Australia, the relationship has all the benefits of being contracted/shackled/married legally. [/quote]
That is very interesting and as far as I am aware, not the case here so I made sure i was financially secure ie, name on mortgage, an income etc.. Things my mother ranted about repeatedly when we were young.
nick007
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I LOVED the idea of being married until after I moved in with my current girlfriend for a while. I don't mean this the way you guys are probably thinking. We woulda got married around then but we're both disabled & it would screw up benefits. A major reason I wanted to be married then was because I wanted it to be harder for us to split up. If it's harder for us to split up, my partner might invest more effort into trying to make our relationship work. I'm EXTREMELY MOTIVATED to try my best to make my romantic relationships work but it takes the both of us to make the relationship work. I'm used to friends getting frustrated with me or mad at me about something & suddenly deciding to move on instead of trying to talk to me & work things out. It's extremely difficult for me to meet people offline who give me a decent chance to get close to them. Most everyone quickly writes me off without getting to know me I've gotten a lot more secure with my current girlfriend after living together & acting married for 9 & half years now so I don't really feel that need to get married anymore. I have nothing against being married thou except that it's more financially practical for us not to be right now. If I were to suddenly come into a lot of money, I'd have no reason not to get married & I would marry Cass because I know she would prefer us to be but I don't feel a need to.
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I'd say people who are older and who have been married before but are then single are less likely to be willing to marry than a person who is older and has never been married before.
I was married for the first time at 25 to a woman three years younger than me. I was married the second time at 56 to a woman three years older than me. We went ahead despite our doubts, and honestly we still have our doubts about whether it was the right thing to do.
When you are young and infatuated and stupid and without experience in the grown up world, you overlook a lot more things in a prospective spouse than you would when you are older (whether you've been married before or not). The older you get, the less accommodating you are to significant changes in your lifestyle which marriage will bring on, and that sure as heck is the case for an autistic individual.
When you are young and infatuated and stupid and without experience in the grown up world, you overlook a lot more things in a prospective spouse than you would when you are older (whether you've been married before or not). The older you get, the less accommodating you are to significant changes in your lifestyle which marriage will bring on, and that sure as heck is the case for an autistic individual.
QFT.
nick007
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Yep. I would not marry again. Once was enough.
I don’t find the idea of legally binding documents very romantic. I wouldn’t have gotten married at all if my very religious parents hadn’t been pushing me, and I already had the fight beaten out of me by the groom in question.
It’s like the plot to a gothic novel. However, I only fainted once in awhile, and there were no duels. A pity.
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nick007
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I don’t find the idea of legally binding documents very romantic. I wouldn’t have gotten married at all if my very religious parents hadn’t been pushing me, and I already had the fight beaten out of me by the groom in question.
It’s like the plot to a gothic novel. However, I only fainted once in awhile, and there were no duels. A pity.
However I'm suddently thinking that a gothic wedding might be kewl
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It really is quite amazing. Been living this way for almost 5yrs (was in a house share before that).
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About the same.
I guess a wife, who's also my best friend, is one of the two things I "only" really wanted in this life. I suppose I'm just sappy. I see the beauty there of an unbreakable bond. In sickness and health. Yeah, I'm definitely overly sappy. Maybe not, as I've seen it numerous times. Maybe I just have my own issues and I don't want to be like someone else, but that's not it, as I was shown a drawing I did as a little one and it showed the aforementioned (it was just grown up Dill and a woman of equal height, which I think is interesting).
nick007
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If it works for you Nick that's fab. A lot of us are commenting from a place where we've tried with this relationship thing and couldn't get it and being alone is a lot less tiring and much more peaceful.
That doesn't mean that there aren't people who are truly happy in their relationships. It's just some of us don't find peace in them.
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