Less than a week ago now, I was fired from what was basically a cashier position at Walmart. First job, part-time, I am over it now already, but I'm left with thoughts.
The job itself wasn't terribly bad, I actually enjoyed being at the register, besides being exhausted at the end of the day and missing dinner.
I had my first panic attack within the first week. They put me on self checkout watch to help any customers who get an error or call for an associate; I cannot do this because I have not been assigned "numbers" yet, so I cannot login myself or resolve anything. More and more customers walk in, I become overwhelmed, hide in the bathroom, and ask to leave. I come back my next asked shift.
The second panic attack happens to be the day I'm assigned my numbers, about a week later. Not long after I'm assigned them, I ask for my first break. An older employee looks as me confused, and says I don't "get" a second break, or lunch, within the 5 hours I work. Only a single 15 minute one. Despite every other employee telling to take my break, lunch, etc. everyday I worked. Each time they would ask my hours, ask if I'd had a certain break yet, and tell me when to take my next one.
I begin to panic, being that a chunk of what I've done the past two weeks is wrong. They kindly escort me to the front office, where a Team Leader(A) sits with me and asks what happens. I explain as best as I can, but its incredibly hard to talk when I'm having a breakdown. She keeps asking if I want to take a lunch break, as she can make that happen. This only makes me... confused? And I respond with "I don't really know" each time. She then tells me I can "take my lunch break now" but I repeat my answer from before, still confused. She repeats her question again and again, until I become frustrated and leave, sitting outside for about ten minutes until I come back in to request to clock off and leave for the rest of the day, as I cannot work in the current condition I'm in. The Team Leader(A) okays it, wishes me a "feel better soon," and I leave.
A few days later, on the night before my next shift, I try logging into the Walmart employee app to double check my schedule. I notice I've been logged out, which is odd. I try to log back in, but cannot. I try again and again, but it requests a verification, which I know i already set up, which panics me more. It's late at night, so I cannot ask anyone and hope it's an error.
The next day I go into work and about 10 minutes before I'm scheduled, I ask Team Leader(B) why I can't log in. He tries to figure it out, and seems confused as well. After he makes a call, he send me to sit in the break room for about 10 minutes. He calls me back, tells me I've been "terminated" because I said something along the lines of "I'm so tired of this" during my last breakdown. I, unsurprisingly, begin crying, give them my vest and nametag, and leave.
I told the employee I trained with that I was autistic, and she told me to complete a form on a website to get accommodations, which was immediately lost on me, and I didn't have the time anyways. I guess I hoped she'd inform other higher ups. I didn't think of it until my last breakdown and asked if the Team Leader(A) if she knew I was autistic, and she denied knowing anything.
I thought I did my job well otherwise, I was quickly memorizing on how to scan in specific items and checking out different forms of payment. Other employees audibly took note of this as well. Of course I made mistakes but I was learning.
So now I sit here, once again jobless after months of applying. I don't mind right now, but it is tiring it all lead to this.
31 May 2022, 3:08 am
