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Jamesy
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07 Jun 2022, 1:19 pm

Apologies in advance for doing another tedious 'pub thread' but it would be interesting to get your views on this.

Why might someone with autism (like myself for example) be disliked by others in the 'bar scene'.?



Fnord
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07 Jun 2022, 1:31 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Why might someone with autism be disliked by others in the 'bar scene'?
For the same reasons why they might not be liked in any other setting.

• Their physical cues (e.g., "Body Language") may be inappropriate or nonexistent.

• Their social skills may be inappropriate or nonexistent.

• They may interrupt other people's conversations with inappropriate comments.

• They may stare or make no eye contact at all.

• They may act "nervous and jerky" when others around them are calm and relaxed.

• They may act "weird" when others around them are acting "normal".

• They may want to talk about things that interest no one else, if they want to talk at all.

• They may blurt out inappropriate comments about other people's appearances or behaviors.


And the worst offense of all:

• They may be unaware of when it is their turn to buy the next round, even if they can afford to pay for it.



Jamesy
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07 Jun 2022, 1:51 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Why might someone with autism be disliked by others in the 'bar scene'?
For the same reasons why they might not be liked in any other setting.

• Their physical cues (e.g., "Body Language") may be inappropriate or nonexistent.

• Their social skills may be inappropriate or nonexistent.

• They may interrupt other people's conversations with inappropriate comments.

• They may stare or make no eye contact at all.

• They may act "nervous and jerky" when others around them are calm and relaxed.

• They may act "weird" when others around them are acting "normal".

• They may want to talk about things that interest no one else, if they want to talk at all.

• They may blurt out inappropriate comments about other people's appearances or behaviors.


And the worst offense of all:

• They may be unaware of when it is their turn to buy the next round, even if they can afford to pay for it.




Yeah that would explain it



Summer_Twilight
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07 Jun 2022, 2:54 pm

When I go to a bar, I find three common topics

1. Sports - what’s playing on the big tvs
2. Types of alcohol
3. Work chat

As for being disliked:
1. If you are not properly groomed



Fnord
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07 Jun 2022, 3:35 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
When I go to a bar, I find three common topics

1. Sports - what’s playing on the big tvs
2. Types of alcohol
3. Work chat
From my own experiences, I can add a few more:

4. Women
5. Cars & trucks
6. Hunting, fishing, et cetera
7. Women
8. Home improvement


Summer_Twilight wrote:
As for being disliked:

1. If you are not properly groomed
Ditto:

2. Mooching, Freeloading
3. Hitting on another man's woman
4. Jumping the line at the pool table or dart board
5. Not knowing when to STFU



Twilightprincess
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07 Jun 2022, 4:24 pm

Fnord wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
When I go to a bar, I find three common topics

1. Sports - what’s playing on the big tvs
2. Types of alcohol
3. Work chat
From my own experiences, I can add a few more:

4. Women
5. Cars & trucks
6. Hunting, fishing, et cetera
7. Women
8. Home improvement


Summer_Twilight wrote:
As for being disliked:

1. If you are not properly groomed
Ditto:

2. Mooching, Freeloading
3. Hitting on another man's woman
4. Jumping the line at the pool table or dart board
5. Not knowing when to STFU


That sounds really boring. Of course, alcohol probably helps.


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Joe90
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07 Jun 2022, 4:38 pm

I don't find your pub threads tedious. I just don't know why you bother with going to pubs and bars if it causes you a lot of stress and confusion, that's all. :)

Anyway, I don't go to pubs (except in the daytime for lunch) because I feel out of place and I worry that other people pick up on it and might judge me. Pubs and bars at night time can be judgemental places full of young girls that are still quite immature.

Quote:
They may act "weird" when others around them are acting "normal".


That's until everyone around you starts getting drunk, then you end up being the only one acting normal (if you don't drink).

Also I feel a sense of pressure that I have to dress up when going into pubs and bars at night, and I never know what to wear and I get self-conscious.

I love pubs during the day, when I can order a meal and eat. I don't feel self-conscious at all.


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Jamesy
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07 Jun 2022, 4:46 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I don't find your pub threads tedious. I just don't know why you bother with going to pubs and bars if it causes you a lot of stress and confusion, that's all. :)

Anyway, I don't go to pubs (except in the daytime for lunch) because I feel out of place and I worry that other people pick up on it and might judge me. Pubs and bars at night time can be judgemental places full of young girls that are still quite immature.

Quote:
They may act "weird" when others around them are acting "normal".


That's until everyone around you starts getting drunk, then you end up being the only one acting normal (if you don't drink).

Also I feel a sense of pressure that I have to dress up when going into pubs and bars at night, and I never know what to wear and I get self-conscious.

I love pubs during the day, when I can order a meal and eat. I don't feel self-conscious at all.



I usually dress up smart when going to pubs but have been accused of freeloading a lot before even though I don’t really mean to. I usually go to the pub Friday and Saturday.



mohsart
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11 Jun 2022, 7:21 am

Joe90 wrote:
Quote:
They may act "weird" when others around them are acting "normal".


That's until everyone around you starts getting drunk, then you end up being the only one acting normal (if you don't drink).

No, if everybody except you is getting drunk you're the weird one.

/Mats


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babybird
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11 Jun 2022, 11:38 am

I enjoy going to the pub on pub quiz night. I think it's just because everyone has a common purpose when there's a quiz.

I also like to go to the pub to have a meal as well.

I can't say I've ever experienced the issues that the op has experienced.



mohsart
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11 Jun 2022, 2:30 pm

I guess it's a matter of place and level of alcohol.
1. In a comics book store "You have the latest XYZ?" "Not yet, but if you like that you might enjoy ABC."
2. In a café "Oh I just got the latest issue of XYZ!" "Yeah, I don't know much about comics but good for you."
3. In a bar early on "I just found out there's a new issue of XYZ!" "Well shut the f up about youre damn comics, we're talking football here!"
4. Later in the bar "Yeah, yeah. Mats keeps talking about comics, just ignore him and he'll stop eventually."
5. After 10 pints and a couple of shots "Heyy, I hear you like comics! I used to like Tintin as a kid!" (or BAM!)

Alcohol messes you up.
Some people become more open.
Some people become agressive.
Some people become loving.
Some people become sad.
Some people become happy.
and other things.

/Mats


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