Alcohol and Autism

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i prolly have drunk the equivalent of a magnum of wine, in my whole life.

I stopped drinking entirely a few months ago. I had to admit to myself that:
1. I have the tolerance of...whatever has high tolerance. I can drink my husband under the table any day of the week.
This isn't a fact I'm proud of.
2. Autism and alcohol, for me, do not mix well. I kept thinking it made me more outgoing, made me able to speak,
and made me more likeable. That backfired when I realized it was actually true, and that meant that people didn't
really like me, they liked the effect alcohol has on me. When I realized I had to drink in order to socialize, it made
me really stop and think.
3. I have a hard time with addictive behaviours, I also have a food addiction. So I just don't have any internal monitor
as to when I've had enough of anything, food or alcohol.
4. I hate who I become under the influence. I feel like a stranger to myself. I'm chatty, I'm annoying, I'm loud. I laugh
too much, share too much. And it's the total opposite of what I am when sober. Normally, I don't speak to anyone
besides my spouse.

These are just the things that I noticed in myself, and the reasons I decided to give it up altogether.

Before I knew I was autistic, when young, I drank because everyone else did, just as with many other things I did, as I did not want to be odd one out.
I did not want to admit I cannot handle much alcohol, I make a fool of myself on it.
It lowers my mood.
As for drugs, I like(d) them too much, still struggling with that one, booze helped drugs along, but alone, I cannot stand it, or be in the company of people drinking a lot, I never could, but, have only recently admitted that to myself in the last few years.

Being a little Sweet Pea, I don't like to drink things that are going to dry me up, so no alcohol for me.