Why is it easier to be single?

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 531
Location: Planet Emorf

13 Jun 2022, 3:26 am

Why is it easier to be single?



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 861
Location: Cardiff, Wales

13 Jun 2022, 5:09 am

You're asking a question based on an opinion,as if it's fact.



FleaOfTheChill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 308
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,354
Location: Everywhere

13 Jun 2022, 7:25 am

It's easier for me to be single because I don't have to take anyone else into consideration when living my life. I don't have to run my plans by anyone else and I can do what I want, when I want. I can make financial decisions without stressing anyone else's spending habits. I can cook what I want, clean when I want, be alone when I want, vanish in the woods when I want...I have freedom.

I'm a person who requires a huge amount of alone time in order to be okay. Being single, I'm not making anyone mad or hurting anyone's feelings when I 'hide'. I'm also not a very emotional person, so I'm not hurting anyone by making them feel alone when they are sitting next to me or when I fail to show affection in ways that resonate with them. I find liking people to be incredibly uncomfortable to me as well, so I don't have to feel any discomfort in that way. Less stressful when I'm single.

I don't like dealing with other people's problems as I find they generally bring these problems onto themselves. That frustrates me. I don't like other people's work issues, facebook fights, friend drama or whatever... People can often seem to feed these things rather than try to solve them, and if it's a partner, those issues become my issues unless I ignore them and become the jerk. I hate that crap. Less problems in life when I'm single.

I don't feel lonely. I think that's important. It seems to me most people I've run into want a relationship because they want to alleviate loneliness or have sex. I have family and friends who eat up a decent amount of my time and I have nothing left for a partner time/energy wise. I prefer to spend my spare time alone, with my dog. I have a fwb as well, so I feel no need for a relationship in order to have sex. Adding someone else to my life would exhaust me. The people I have now exhaust me regularly as it is. I have nothing left for anyone else at this point in my life. It would be kinda crappy of me to even try to be in a relationship right now. I cannot be a decent partner to someone else if I have nothing left for that person. For me, it's not only easier, it's also nicer to others if I stay single.

Standard disclaimer... the above is my opinion. I'm only saying why I think it's easier for me to be single.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 83,824
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Jun 2022, 7:52 am

You only have to account for yourself and your family-----not a spouse and his/her family, too.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 56,444
Location: Stendec

13 Jun 2022, 8:55 am

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
Why is it easier to be single?
• Your decisions are your own: You never have to compromise with someone whose decisions conflict with your own.

• Your living-space is your own: The furniture stays where you left it, and no one can move in without your permission.

• Your money is your own: You know exactly how much you have to spend on bills, how much to save, and how much is left to have some fun.

• Your property is your own: When you set your keys down, they will still be in the same place when you need them again -- no one messes with your 'stuff'.

• Your secrets remain secret: There is no one to 'accidentally' inform the world about your favorite ways to make yourself happy.

• Your time is your own: What are you going to do this weekend?  Whatever the hell you want!



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 105,748
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

13 Jun 2022, 9:23 am

I've decided that I'm going to live the single life, because I won't have to change for anyone. I don't have to squeeze myself into a little box. I don't have to give up on my favourite things.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 56,444
Location: Stendec

13 Jun 2022, 10:01 am

TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
Why is it easier to be single?
• The only annoying friends you must deal with are your own.
• The only debts you must pay off are your own.
• The only disasters you must fix are your own.
• The only fetishes you must deal with are your own.
• The only insecurities you must deal with are your own.
• The only messes you must clean up are your own.
• The only mood swings you must deal with are your own.
• The only person spending your money is you.
• The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
• The only person who sees your inbox is you.
• The only person whining about not being fed is your cat.
• The only person whining about not not going out is your dog.
• The only person who moves the toilet seat is you.

• There's only one way to do things: your way.

• You do not have to answer to anyone.
• You do not have to apologize for normal human behavior.
• You do not have to change your life simply someone else has jealousy issues.
• You do not have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
• You do not have to deal with "compliment fishing".
• You do not have to deal with someone else's relatives all the time.
• You do not have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records.
• You do not have to hide your stash of comfort food (i.e., chocolate, et cetera).
• You do not have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
• You do not have to make excuses.
• You do not have to put on an act 24/7 just to keep the peace.
• You do not have to share.



Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,777

13 Jun 2022, 11:03 am

Fnord wrote:
TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
Why is it easier to be single?
[color=black]

Quote:
You do not have to answer to anyone
.

This reason in particular, plus everything else Fnord mentioned.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,642
Location: UK

13 Jun 2022, 11:15 am

Although my boyfriend's drinking problem causes stress and grief for me, I still wouldn't want to give all that up and be single again. I suffered severe mental health problems when I was single, and the mental health problems seemed to go away as soon as I got into a serious relationship with my boyfriend. Of course I have my moments still, but not as bad as before. And yes I get panicky and tearful and sometimes even frightened when he's too drunk, but thankfully it's not every day.

In the UK it is hard to find a partner that doesn't drink, even though some drink more than others of course but unless they're religious or have underlying health issues that alcohol can make life-threatening, people that choose to be teetotal like me are extremely rare in the UK and finding one would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. So even if I did leave him just because he gets drunk sometimes, the next man I meet will probably like his drink too and might even be worse than my boyfriend when drunk.

So that's my attitude anyway. I don't envy single people but I do respect them of course.


_________________
Female
Aged 32
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and mild ASD

I don't like autism being mentioned to me as I'm partly in denial.


klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 861
Location: Cardiff, Wales

13 Jun 2022, 11:31 am

^

Quote:
I suffered severe mental health problems when I was single, and the mental health problems seemed to go away as soon as I got into a serious relationship with my boyfriend

That's interesting, I can imagine that being true, as in not just your imagination.


I've only had bad relationships, so fnord's list rings true with me. I can't help but imagine what a good relationship would be like, it could just be a fantasy.



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,473
Location: Missouri

13 Jun 2022, 12:12 pm

Fnord wrote:
TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB wrote:
Why is it easier to be single?

• The only messes you must clean up are your own.
• You do not have to answer to anyone.
• You do not have to share.


If you are single and have pets it might alter the equation a bit on those. :wink:

And ...

Pets can even change that one too ...
(note: some folks will not consider a pet to be a "person" but some days with some pets you really do wonder ...)
Quote:
• The only person who goes through your stuff is you.

8O :lol:
Image

If nothing else has ever demonstrated that, yes, there are valid, documentable, truths on the internet ...
Quote:
• The only person whining about not being fed is your cat.

:lol:


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,777

13 Jun 2022, 12:25 pm

^ Why I don't have any pets!

I need a lot of alone time...that means pets need to GTFO too.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 56,444
Location: Stendec

13 Jun 2022, 1:03 pm

Yes, the distinctions must be made between being single, living single, and living single with pets.

:lol:



Minervx_2
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 22 May 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 266

13 Jun 2022, 4:12 pm

Fnord wrote:
Why is it easier to be single?
• Your living-space is your own:
• Your money is your own:
• Your property is your own
• Your secrets remain secret
• Your time is your own


This presupposes that being in a relationship entails all of these things. You can be in a relationship to someone without marrying them and/or living with them.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 56,444
Location: Stendec

13 Jun 2022, 4:51 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:
You can be in a relationship to someone without marrying them and/or living with them.
That is the state of being "Single" (as opposed to being "Married").  You can be single and have any number of relationships; but once you are married, even if you live separately, you are no longer single (and likely have few, if any, other relationships).



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 25,434
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

14 Jun 2022, 6:27 am

It's easier for me to be single because it is extremely difficult for me to get in romantic relationships. VERY few people are willing to give me half a chance. However 1ce I am in a romantic relationship, I find it aLOT more comfortable, relaxing, & easier to deal with & maitain than being single.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition