I just feel my mum was like my double. While I do have other close, loving relatives that I love, a lot of them seem to be into Kate Bush and smoking weed and going to festivals and other stuff I'm not at all into. I don't know, maybe I'm exaggerating, but lately my cousins seem preoccupied in that sort of stuff, plus getting drunk and high, and my mum was the only one who didn't let herself be easily led. She liked her own music (and the music I like) and wasn't preoccupied with crap, and she didn't smoke, drink or do drugs. I really miss her. I know my boyfriend doesn't like all that but he does like his drink. I just feel like an alien sometimes because I don't do weed or drink alcohol. I hate weed, I've tried it before due to peer pressure whenever I'm with my cousins and it sets off my vertigo and makes me feel ill, even just breathing it in from others. Same reasons why I don't drink. It makes me feel unwell and sick. But I feel depressed because I don't (and can't) do all that. I'm like an old lady and I feel so different, not because of ASD or ADHD but because I don't smoke weed, drink, go to festivals or love Kate Bush. I love Amy Winehouse instead but she's dead. My mum loved her too. Me and my mum were so alike in every way.
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Female