People seeing the tail end of our behavior

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Summer_Twilight
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15 Jun 2022, 11:25 am

Hi:
I am writing because I feel that people on the spectrum often get targeted for our "Bad behavior" but they never really see the bigger picture.

While in third grade, for example, I was on my was to lunch. with my mainstream classroom. Meanwhile, there were a couple of students my class who were taunting. So I was attempting to get away from them. In doing so, someone caught my arm and stated asking me "What are you doing?" It turns out that it was the school principal who was happened to be monitoring the halls. As she happened to catch me running, she got very upset with me. When I tried to tell her, it was "You be quiet and listen to me." It was so bad I ended up in tears, while the nice substitute teacher told her the whole story and walked with me while I was getting lunch.

Anyone else deal with something like this?



kitesandtrainsandcats
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15 Jun 2022, 11:30 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Anyone else deal with something like this?


Yes.
Even at this age.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Jun 2022, 11:37 am

I know it and

"I'm speaking,"

"I don't want to hear about it."

"I don't care."

"That's not an excuse."

"Well you did this and you did that."

Then they always make you out to as if you're some sort of bad guy.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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15 Jun 2022, 11:40 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Then they always make you out to as if you're some sort of bad guy.

With their self-centered and inadequate attention spans that's the best the poor souls can do, bless their hearts.


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Joe90
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15 Jun 2022, 11:43 am

I think this was the reason I got my diagnosis. I had a fear of the school bells, and it was the only sound I disliked at school. Loud chattering children did not ever bother me at all. But if I knew a bell was about to ring and I was near one, I'd put my hands over my ears because of my nerves when anticipating the sudden loud ringing sound that will echo around the hallway or room within the next few moments. When I got a bit older and felt silly having my hands over my ears I would instead go and stand somewhere away from a bell if I was in the hallways, which looked unsociable. So the adults all thought "Joe90 puts her hands over her ears, and she often stands away from the other children. Very autistic indeed." I felt too embarrassed to tell people I was afraid of the bells, so I regrettably let them assume I was just afraid of the children and the noise of chattering.

So, if electric bells on walls didn't exist, I probably wouldn't have got a diagnosis of Asperger's, and I probably wouldn't have been picked on by the other children either.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Jun 2022, 11:53 am

Joe90 wrote:
I think this was the reason I got my diagnosis. I had a fear of the school bells, and it was the only sound I disliked at school. Loud chattering children did not ever bother me at all. But if I knew a bell was about to ring and I was near one, I'd put my hands over my ears because of my nerves when anticipating the sudden loud ringing sound that will echo around the hallway or room within the next few moments. When I got a bit older and felt silly having my hands over my ears I would instead go and stand somewhere away from a bell if I was in the hallways, which looked unsociable. So the adults all thought "Joe90 puts her hands over her ears, and she often stands away from the other children. Very autistic indeed." I felt too embarrassed to tell people I was afraid of the bells, so I regrettably let them assume I was just afraid of the children and the noise of chattering.

So, if electric bells on walls didn't exist, I probably wouldn't have got a diagnosis of Asperger's, and I probably wouldn't have been picked on by the other children either.


For me, the bell would sound overwhelming if I would cry, other times, while in third grade, I would spend the morning looking at the artwork in the halls before the bell rang. Then, I would run to my class like everyone else.



Edna3362
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15 Jun 2022, 12:12 pm

Not my experience.

Unless one chooses to overread... And chooses to judge it.


As a child, everyone knew I'm easily provoked and that I don't do things without a reasonable enough 'reason'.
People are very clear at the fact that I do not willfully start trouble.

Too bad, those reasons are emotionally reactionary in nature. :| It's not even sensory, not even cerebral but weird and obscured.
That's my only complaint. I see it more a problem than someone else sees it.

Only silver lining I get is that this culture I'm in responds to emotions differently from western cultures or cultures that likes to mimic the west -- they understand 'irrational reactivity' from children and teenagers alike.
Not the case for adults for obvious reasons but still... A problem.


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klanka
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15 Jun 2022, 1:15 pm

I'm usually very careful because of this.