Feel bad for losing interest interacting with people like me

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I seem to think that even though I went to special schools for students with Autism and Aspergers. I seem to feel as though I've learnt to behave more like other NT people by having the ability to interact with people face-to-face and felt like wanting to interact with people who are not autistic. I don't want to sound like its harsh or hurtful but this is what I seem to feel. It is frustrating because I have few friends and few that are NT and when being given to advice to meet new people, the few options I am given is mainly volunteering. I could do volunteering but a part of me feels like not wanting to because I did it before in a charity shop and a few other places like that but I think I lost interest because there were few people there, few would talk to me and it was quiet with little to do except stand at the till and serve customers. I do remember there were times when I didn't turn up. People I see there are older than I am and some may have had a disability even though I have Aspergers but I'm able to talk to people and am not severe as other people. I also remember being persuaded to visit a volunteer youth club but people there had disabilities more severe than mine such as Downs Syndrome and I didn't feel like I fitted in and I seem to think helpers there treat you a bit like a child who doesn't know what he or she is doing. It seems that because I don't go to social environments like pubs, clubs and places like that or get jobs in places where young NT people are bound to be interacting and working such as McDonalds, those are the only options available to me.

I can understand both your losing interest and feeling bad about it. You are being quite honest about it.

I'm probably being brutally honest. I just felt that I'd had more experience being around people who all had autism or Aspergers and then felt the need to move on and interact more with non-autistic people. But it's frustrating because I didn't have any close NT friends and seem unable to visit places where neurotypicals gather and socialise because I'd be my own and socially awkward and end up staying in a chair on my own without anyone talking to me and so my weekends end up being at home.

Have you tried Meetup.com?

What are your interests/hobbies, if any?

A good midway point for you might be to find a hobby where you'll be accepted as an autistic person, but also meet non-autistic people. There will be people with high levels of social skills whom you could interact with, as well as people with low. I learned to socialize because of playing tabletop role playing games like D&D, and have made the majority of my friends (and met my allistic partner) through the hobby.

In my own I like to read and try to write my own book (I seem to like to research more than actually producing the book itself) and I probably enjoy making lists) and I also like to if I go out into town to visit charity shops if there are any nice books and clothes and things like that.

What TOPICS do you like to research? Perhaps you might look for Meetup groups devoted to those topics?