Fear Overtaking Me

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I don't know if anyone can relate where they just have almost a crippling fear about something? Everytime I hear someone say they're sick or ill my immediate first reaction is "oh no, they might or are going to die." No matter who it is that thought never leaves my head and i don't know how to get rid of it or how to deal with it.

Yeah, and there's probably others around here who experience the same thing.

Intrusive thoughts caused by anxiety. Perspective is probably the best way to deal with it outside of heavy medications, i.e., calculating the odds of the worst outcome. If the odds aren't that high for the worst outcome, it can maybe provide a little something to offset the intrusive thoughts that show nothing but the inevitability of the aforementioned worst outcome. Distraction can also help, as it does with most things.

I have it too for others. Worrying about them. My mother and COVID-19 recently/right now, for example.

It’s like it completely just overtakes me and thinking about it a lot of the day. And I’ll try and breathe to get myself to calm down but even that doesn’t work.

Do you know about DBT TIPP?

No I don’t know about DBI TIPP

Yeah, it sadly does that one. All the CBT, breathing techniques and other non-pharmaceutical therapies in the world generally have little impact when you're at a certain point of anxiety, as you can't out-think your sympathetic nervous system. If it's anything, it'll pass in time and you'll also get used to it. There's one issue in that you might be doing too much for what your autism and/or anxiety disorders can cope with, and in that case, you might need to discuss something more potent when it comes to medication to keep up this level of functioning if the previous medications at higher dosages aren't working all that well (just assuming if you're being more overwhelmed by life stuff here).

Most people probably won't understand what the suffering is like with severe anxiety. I'd take the trigeminal neuralgia over those initial years of chronic panic and intrusive thoughts any day of a lifetime.

My father died from a number of things last winter so I worry about my mom and her physical and mental state of being. Whenever she doesn't remember something I still remember that happened many years ago as if it was only yesterday I worry she has dementia like my grandfather (her father) developed when he was in his 80s. My dad died just after his birthday. Is it common for people to die close to the same day they were born?

I have those similar thoughts. Like if I text someone and I know they’re ill or have been I’ll and they don’t text me back right away, then I’ll start worrying if they’re okay and could they be dying.

lostonearth35,

Sorry again about your father there. Milder memory loss is a common thing with aging, and on its own without associated symptoms, is likely just that. Someone with dementia will have trouble with basic tasks, self-care will dramatically drop, they'll feel lost in familiar settings, have trouble with language and communication skills that are quite evident, unable to follow commands and directions, have trouble choosing things, and will generally show poor judgement. Date of death will be a coincidence.

Sounds like you have the good memory that some with an ASD have. I'm the same there. Things that happen years ago feel like they just did. Most people likely aren't like this.

christinejarvis21,

I tend to worry about people quite a lot, mostly those rare few I have a connection to. Usually over "what could happen". Whether they talk to me or not; they're kinda always with me, even if they aren't (likely my good memory there).

Thanks, I just wish I could stop having those thoughts

No worries.

I wish I had an answer that'd help (I know how it goes, and there's lots of suffering going on out there). For me, as above: time, distraction, medication and logic lessened it all. It's always there to some extent, though.

It's not easy. It will get easier.

Well in 2 weeks my therapist is going to do emdr on me to help me process my nephews death because my anxiety about death got exacerbated after he passed in 2019.

This is DBT TIPP

https://manhattanpsychologygroup.com/dbt-tipp-skills/

you can check google or youtube for more info

Last edited by Fenn on 23 Jun 2022, 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Idk sometimes I just have a weird fear that something terrible has happened to someone I care about. Like if my boyfriend is home later from work than I expect, and he hasn't called I will worry like if he was in a traffic accident or something and just catastrophize. One time it was he had went to have a couple beers after work with his coworkers and forgot to text....and I was worried sick. I have absolutely no problem if he goes over and has a couple beers with his co-workers before coming home was not bothered at that just didn't like how worried I got...but so yeah just told him to text or call and let me know if he is going to do that so I don't worry.

sooner or later, everyone is going to drop dead.

a Communication "instructor" said that "fear" is an acronym for "false expectations appearing real".

however, sometimes, fear is justified.

humans are physically fragile/vulnerable, to disease/disability/old age, and et cetera.

medically/financially/

you have to say, how much fear is justified, versus how much you feel, and what is the correct margin of error.

you can't measure the correct amount of fear.

for a long time, i have been afraid of a lot of things.

rape/getting vandalized/getting exterminated
homelessness/getting made redundant
dogs/getting run over by a car
getting a civil lawsuit

exaggerated startle response


You do not know who has:

felony convictions
psychiatric diagnoses
expensive lawyers
guns
gang affiliation

or whatever


However:

Things are not always the way they appear.
Nobody is perfect.
Everyone has subconscious biases.