im convinced my autism made me a freak with obsessions
lostonearth35
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Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,876
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
To the OP, here's a direct, no-nonsense answer to your concerns.
What you described sounds like a fusion of body dysmorphia and health anxiety, which have nothing to do with autism, even though you're autistic.
NTs can have these same problems. My NT niece was just as obsessed, during college, with the size of her thighs and waist, and would constantly take measure them and record the inches, plus her body weight, in a journal.
There are men who constantly worry their biceps aren't big enough and are always measuring them, tracking protein intake, etc.
In your case it was height -- in a society where shortness in men is a big disadvantage (like it or not, it's a fact).
These "obsessions" are NOT in the same light as our beloved special interests that bring us joy and intellectual stimulation. These body-related obsessions bring misery, worry and suffering, and NTs can just as easily experience them.
As for your chin....this "obsession" wasn't autism. It's a human experience, across all neurotypes, which is why the cosmetic and plastic surgery industry is a multi-billion-dollar-a-year industry!! Cosmetic surgeons, dermatologists with their Botox and laser peels, and the beauty industry aren't filthy rich over the obsessions of autistic people.
ALL humans experience insecurity over their looks. This includes teen boys worrying about going bald. They obsess, constantly study their hairline in a mirror, etc. Has nothign to do wtih autism.
So whether it's height, biceps size, thick thighs, a pudgy waistline, a receding hairline...this all falls under the category of body insecurity, but it's also fueled by reality: Let's face it: height counts. Short men get stiffed in life. Ever see a half-bald young male model? How often is the lead male or female character in a TV drama really fat?
The difference between body insecurity and body DYSMORPHIA is that the latter is an unrealistic perception of a specific body part. Though it's normal to be unhappy with a small chin (chin surgery is common -- all these patients can't be autistic), it's ABNORMAL to constantly worry that everyone is staring at your chin and thinking how awful it looks. I read of a case where a woman hated her nose so much that she'd worry that everyone on the subway was staring at it.
Google "body dysmorphia." Sometimes the line between this and a common dissatisfaction with a body part is quite blurry. Look at all the women who get liposuction on their thighs. There are many tall women who slouch and refuse to wear heels. It often comes down to poor self-worth, and NT's can suffer from this as well as autistics.
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