Why did my therapist berate me for wanting antidepressants?

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That’s very sad.

A child/teen/minor CAN'T change their life, ESPECIALLY when the abuse their parents inflict on them is "only" emotional. And DOUBLY-ESPECIALLY when their therapist ENJOYS keeping them miserable, by mocking them for reporting emotional abuse and/or refusing to refer them to a psychiatrist. Also, running away from home is illegal. So the only ways minors can escape misery is either suicide or antidepressants, nothing else! And when family therapists WITHHOLD antidepressants from minors, where does that leave the minors? Exactly!

"Luckily", I was just shrewd enough to find my own "antidepressants": swigging my parents' whiskey, intentionally getting myself sick so I could "accidentally" overdose on cold medications, and huffing household chemicals, rather than attempting a suicide method I had already contemplated using.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 30 Jun 2022, 8:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

How did your therapist “withhold” antidepressants when she couldn’t have given them to you in the first place?

Actually, there are lots of ways minors can “escape their misery” besides suicide and antidepressants. For instance, I escaped into music and literature. I’m sorry you didn’t find something that worked for you.

She COULD HAVE referred me to a real doctor with prescription power, rather than berate me for wanting a proper solution.

I had Lego sets, library books, and video games. But they were fleeting distractions, not actual escape methods. I still felt the same crushing misery while engaging in those things. So they don't count. I HAD TO rely on alcohol, cold medications, and inhalants, just to stop feeling the misery, even if only for an hour. And let's not bring up the taboo S-word again, by which, I don't mean "****" [feces]. With having toxic cleaners in the home and living near a rail line, it was VERY tempting for me back then.

Maybe your therapist thought you were talking about street drugs.

It's not impossible. But with the way she was berating me, I don't think so. She didn't mention anything about them being illegal, the dangers associated with buying them, or the harm they can do. She just shamed me for wanting a medical solution for my depression.

Well, the joke was on her: I found my own "medical" silution. Which, ironically, I learned about from the US government's anti-drug DARE Campaign in the 1990's.

DARE was discontinued about 10 years later, after it was proven ineffective, if not counterproductive. But people over 30 remember it very well.

“Effexor XR is not approved for use in people under 18 years old.

In fact, the FDA has required the manufacturers of Effexor XR to include a boxed warningTrusted Source in the drug’s label. A boxed warning is the strongest warning required by the FDA. It is used to alert healthcare professionals and patients about the risk of serious side effects seen with the drug.

The Effexor XR boxed warning describes an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors in young people who take Effexor XR. The increased risk is seen in children under 18 years old and in adults ages 24 years old and younger. (All antidepressants carry this warning, not just Effexor XR.)”

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326678#uses

For children who already have suicidal ideation, the “increased risk” could be enough to push them over the edge.

I can understand why mental health professionals are often hesitant to encourage families to go this route.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Jul 2022, 2:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Antidepressants are not magic pills:

“They don't help in mild depression.”

“The various antidepressants have been compared in many studies. Overall, the commonly used tricyclic antidepressants (SSRIs and SNRIs) were found to be equally effective. Studies involving adults with moderate or severe depression have shown the following:

Without antidepressants: About 20 to 40 out of 100 people who took a placebo noticed an improvement in their symptoms within six to eight weeks.

With antidepressants: About 40 to 60 out of 100 people who took an antidepressant noticed an improvement in their symptoms within six to eight weeks.

In other words, antidepressants improved symptoms in about an extra 20 out of 100 people.”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK361016/

As studies show, they are effective for some people, but they aren’t a magical solution. They tend to work best when they are used in conjunction with therapy.

(I’m always surprised by how effective placebos are.)

Well, why couldn't my therapist just be HONEST with me about antidepressants not being an option, and provide a direct explanation why? But she did neither! So I explained it to myself that she simply enjoyed picking on a weak, troubled kid: by dangling a solution just out of his reach, like when playing "monkey in the middle" with a victim's hat/book/toy, and deliberately frustrating him for a cheap thrill. That was the last time I even remotely trusted her, and started thinking of her as a bully. Sadly, I had to see her for 3 years after, until my parents pulled me out of therapy. Why? I was afraid to tell them, as I knew they'd take her side and punish me; plus, they're anti-pill too.

Seriously, you should have SEEN my happy face when my Effexor first kicked in back in 2019. I felt on top of the world! I also felt like I gave the entire therapy industry, along with god himself, the world's biggest middle finger.

Did effexor still live up to this over the last 3 years?


Therapy is extremely hard to get in the UK. I had had thoughts of maybe it helping but you've cemented that as a no go.


I see you as an independent observer who has no financial reasons to be saying what you are saying. I think I would be looking for solutions myself and not just be wanting to talk and then go home feeling almost exactly the same as before I entered the office.

Last edited by klanka on 01 Jul 2022, 3:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It’s hard to say. I haven’t spoken to her or directly observed the situation.

The situation is over and done with. Not taking medication as a child may have been for the best. It’s impossible to answer the “what ifs.”

I still take it, but the Law of Diminishing Returns is starting to set in. I feel simply "OK", rather than "on top of the world". Then again, you can't feel on top of the world long-term: you'll burn out your serotonin receptors, and feel like during a post-cocaine crash.

I have a psychiatrist appointment lined up in August, to have my medication reevaluated. Fingers crossed.

Therapy is somewhat helpful if you're an adult, as there's no one your therapist is pandering to behind your back, like your parents. Even so, it helps only if your social skills are strong enough to navigate therapy well. If not, see a real doctor instead; NHS covers it, from what I heard as an American.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 01 Jul 2022, 3:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

So the experience of one online poster has made you decide that therapy is a bad idea even though extensive research has shown that it can be highly effective?

OK its a shame. Im taking St.Johns which helps with certain things..but doesnt change anything major.

I do start to feel great when I miss a dose followed by feeling bad.

I dont think ill try to pursue therapy then based on what you said. I could just have a whinge to my friends instead.

TwilightPrincess:
Therapy is really hard to get, I would have to go on a 8 months waiting list.
I would be open to reading some accounts of people who say it helped them but i am skeptical at the moment.

Lay off the poor guy! Like I said earlier, therapy is effective ONLY if your social skills are strong enough to navigate it; that is, intuitively knowing what your therapist wants to hear and the right moments to say it (like most NTs do). Otherwise, aspies run a high risk of being retraumatized and made worse than before.

On the positive side, it's easy to get online (be it clear web or dark web), look up therapy materials, and memorize the right things. (Like receipting emotion words like the alphabet song, and never mentioning medications under any circumstances.) Then, an aspie can attend therapy, excel at it, and get the best possible help from their therapist.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 01 Jul 2022, 3:47 pm, edited 3 times in total.

It can even be helpful for people with ASD who have poor social skills.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6150418/