Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Looking mature and having older friends?

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

26 Jun 2022, 9:18 am

Currently in my life a lot of my friends that I see regurley are decades older than me. In fact there is one lady in my group who is 68 and according to one of my friends she fancies me and another lady as well who has a crush on me is 47. From what I am aware I don't think any women who are in there 30s or 20s fancies me.

Could all this be a sign that I look older than my age of 32? People my own age quite often do not want to include me in there social events although maybe younger people are less tolerant than old people?


What are your opinions on this?



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 64,112
Location: UK

26 Jun 2022, 9:25 am

It's got nothing to do with what you look like.


_________________
We have existence


klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,888
Location: Cardiff, Wales

26 Jun 2022, 9:29 am

Just out of curiousity why do you think the 2 older ladies fancy you?

It could be that they have more confidence to express this interest, because they are older? So that's why I'm asking how you know.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

26 Jun 2022, 9:32 am

klanka wrote:
Just out of curiousity why do you think the 2 older ladies fancy you?

It could be that they have more confidence to express this interest, because they are older? So that's why I'm asking how you know.



Because one of my friends told me they do



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 64,112
Location: UK

26 Jun 2022, 9:41 am

I'm interested to know how you know these people in the first place.

You don't go to work (because you have told us that before) so are they people you have met in the pub?

If this is so then this is the reason why you are not accepted amongst people who are your own age. These people already have established friendships and this means that you are not wanted in their groups.

The people who do accept you are probably less fussy and if these old women do fancy you then that is the reason they have befriended you.

Do you have a problem with old women fancying you?

If you want a more varied friendship group then you really should try going to places other than the pub to make friends.


_________________
We have existence


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

26 Jun 2022, 9:46 am

babybird wrote:
I'm interested to know how you know these people in the first place.

You don't go to work (because you have told us that before) so are they people you have met in the pub?

If this is so then this is the reason why you are not accepted amongst people who are your own age. These people already have established friendships and this means that you are not wanted in their groups.

The people who do accept you are probably less fussy and if these old women do fancy you then that is the reason they have befriended you.

Do you have a problem with old women fancying you?

If you want a more varied friendship group then you really should try going to places other than the pub to make friends.




I only go out once or twice a week as well to socialise. Yes they are people I have met in the pub.


I do have some younger who are mostly in there lates 30s approaching 40. We live in towns though that are 6 miles so it’s not always easy seeing them.


Well yeah I kind of do have a problem with older women fancying me when a lot of my old school friends are married of to ladies around there age range.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,888
Location: Cardiff, Wales

26 Jun 2022, 3:21 pm

For someone to find out those older ladies fancied you, they must have verbalised it...which might be due to their increased confidence. So I would say dont be discouraged if thats not what you are looking for.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

26 Jun 2022, 3:42 pm

klanka wrote:
For someone to find out those older ladies fancied you, they must have verbalised it...which might be due to their increased confidence. So I would say dont be discouraged if thats not what you are looking for.



I don’t get though why it’s only older woman who are attracted to me :?



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,888
Location: Cardiff, Wales

26 Jun 2022, 3:43 pm

I'm saying that women of all ages might be attracted to you, but only the older ones are confident enough to say so in mixed company...then it gets back to you.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

26 Jun 2022, 3:49 pm

klanka wrote:
I'm saying that women of all ages might be attracted to you, but only the older ones are confident enough to say so in mixed company...then it gets back to you.



Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

The lady who is 47 that fancies me well she’s looking for a younger man but she only attracts men who are in there 60s and 70s.

Are older men also more confident when approaching women who are younger than them?



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,888
Location: Cardiff, Wales

26 Jun 2022, 5:40 pm

Depends on the person, when I treat my anxiety I'm alright with that,some people are just naturals.