Struggling with social issues at work

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 26 Jun 2022
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1
Location: United States

26 Jun 2022, 8:55 pm

So I work in a group home so things people say travels fast, and they like to talk badly about eachother. I was blunt about things that I heard and saw. I thought it would help, but it came across rude and insulting.

Now I am the scapegoat, everyone thinks Im the reason that everyones having issues. When the issues were there I just brought them to light because I wanted everyone to get along.

I don't understand normal people interactions. Im often seen as rude or like Im insulting someone. I don't mean to at all, I like everyone and enjoy working with them. I just, wanted everyone to get along and in the process I just made everyone hate me.

Im trying so hard and make people aware of my autism. It still backfires at jobs. Im getting very frustrated, and tired of it. Any help or tips or even words of understanding helps.


User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,711
Location: UK

27 Jun 2022, 10:30 am

This is why I have given up on having too much empathy for everybody and trying to make the world a happy place. It seems that's what Aspies do and want others to do. I know it's nice and everything but sometimes it's better to just think of yourself instead of everybody else. That's what I'm starting to do now and I feel I'm becoming more socially accepted because of it.

Don't try and make everyone happy. Make some people happy, maybe your favourite people, but not everyone. Just draw a line somewhere and think about yourself. That's what the NTs do.

Aged 32

Diagnosed with ADHD
Have Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic


Joined: 28 Jun 2022
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
Location: US

29 Jun 2022, 10:05 am

Rule #1 is never gossip at all. Always be positive and say nice things about others, even in the face of negativity.

You can recover though. Just do the job good enough and find something at work that you can destress with. For me it was short walks. When I used to go to the office daily the short walks around the hallway were the only thing keeping me going in a toxic workplace I was at then.

I had a boss that I learned very quickly never to say more than you had to. He was a textbook narcissist. I used to have to walk before every meeting with him to tell myself this over and over again - "say the minimum, and move along."

The first six months were rough because I spoke my mind initially and he did not like to be challenged. When I just kept to myself, he found another target to go after (thankfully!).

The company eventually failed and by hanging on there as long as I did, the job I currently have became open at the right time.

The job market is hot, you should always be looking unless you are at your max pay in your field. My career is maxed out and I realistically won't ever get a major raise ever again, so its very important to me to be in a place that is pleasant.