How long should I give me life before suicide (18m)

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sohil142003
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27 Jun 2022, 12:03 pm

I’m 18 no friends, no hobbies no life. I’m on disability for ocd and bipolar. I’ve ruined everything in my life. Did meth at 17(off it now tho) it seems like my life is just one timeline of mistakes and regrets. Every waking moment is agony for me. Been to multiple mental hospitals, jail numerous times, I’m a high school dropout. I failed at life and my life is worthless and will go nowhere. How long should I wait realistically before I give up on my worthless existence



rse92
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27 Jun 2022, 12:30 pm

I recommend you call 1-800-273-8255 and ask them the same question.



sohil142003
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27 Jun 2022, 1:07 pm

rse92 wrote:
I recommend you call 1-800-273-8255 and ask them the same question.

I’m not trying to get 51/50’d



kraftiekortie
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27 Jun 2022, 1:53 pm

You won't get "sectioned" just because you make a phone call.

I'm not sure what the policy is over at that number----but, if you don't give out your address, and don't talk about an actual PLAN to commit suicide, I doubt very much they would "section" you.



r00tb33r
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27 Jun 2022, 4:01 pm

Most states allow you to seal your juvie records, so if you haven't done anything since then you can wipe your slate clean. It doesn't happen automatically, you have to ask for it. You have a government-recognized disability, right? Do you have a social worker attached to you? See about them helping you file the paperwork.

As for what you can expect from your life, how do you feel about your disability? Do you feel disabled, or were you just told that?

Who do you live with?

I was a liaison for a troubled kid back in high school. Used to get him out of trouble all the time. He was a lot of things you described. He lived with his much older stepbrother's family, they didn't get along at all. He didn't mind working though. His stepbrother had a construction business and eventually set him up with another company's crew (they can't work together, obviously) doing carpentry, building decks and stuff like that. He liked the work.
A few years later his stepbrother bought him a rundown house which they fixed up. He lives there now. Also, he now has a nice lady living with him. They seem to be happy. He's still him of course, but a happier version of himself.

My cousin after flunking out of his EMT program at the practicum stage went to work as an electrician. He did his EMT coursework well but failed at sticking needles into real people. They don't give you too many chances. Sad that he learned so late that he can't do that work. Anyway, so the electrician service companies hire unskilled labor and you get to work there under supervision while also attending Journeyman Electrician training. The pay is minimal but the employer covers the cost of your training classes which last several years. It's been going well for him, he finished the training and got his certification.

I've known people in high school who did well academically but chose to leave school early and just earn the GED. They went to community college. They knew what they wanted. Not getting a high school diploma isn't the end of the world, but I do recommend you get that GED.



arachnids
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27 Jun 2022, 5:10 pm

Are you receiving help or treatment for your ocd and bipolar? If these were controlled effectively then perhaps you'd have a chance of building a life for yourself.

Philosophically speaking, I don't believe that everyone necessarily finds meaning in their life and many find life isn't for them and want to jump ship, but that's not widely accepted. I was suicidal at 18 and I'm still here at 52, but I can't honestly say it's been worth it and I'm still suicidal and stuck being alive.

I think it'd worth giving it a bit longer, because 18 is still very young and things can change. I'd invest time in seeking help and trying to make some decent, positive friendships, perhaps based around a hobby or activity. I dunno what you're into.


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kraftiekortie
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27 Jun 2022, 6:06 pm

You can always get your GED if you dropped out of high school.

You're only 18. You have your life ahead of you.

My brother also dropped out of high school and got a GED. He used to sell drugs. He's now a millionaire.



r00tb33r
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27 Jun 2022, 6:17 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
He used to sell drugs. He's now a millionaire.

We love you, kraftie :lol: :heart:



:lmao:



kraftiekortie
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27 Jun 2022, 7:01 pm

I haven’t gotten any of those bucks :cry:



sohil142003
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27 Jun 2022, 7:42 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You can always get your GED if you dropped out of high school.

You're only 18. You have your life ahead of you.

My brother also dropped out of high school and got a GED. He used to sell drugs. He's now a millionaire.

I just feel like I’m a failure and a freak man. Like my life is worhtless and isn’t gonna go anywhere



Sarahsmith
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27 Jun 2022, 8:01 pm

It's a horrible feeling when your life is going nowhere. Gave up hope and self harmed so bad I don't think I'm going to live. I regret giving up hope. Dying is awakening. Little did I know back then is that I could have made choices. But I had to be smart.

I know someone who was addicted to meth when she was young. She was so poor she could only afford junk food. She looked terrible and I was worried about her. Then she made the decision to get a job and get married and inherited my grandmother's land. She's still not happy. I don't know if it's what the drugs did to her mind, if they left a long lasting effect. I did it too. Horrible drug. Felt like s**t afterwards.

My friend that did meth although she isn't happy, told me she lives for this simple reason. Every Once in a while, something catches your attention in life. Like snow quietly coming down under a street lamp, or the sound of rain at night. Has anything ever done that for you? Caught your attention and cleared your mind if only for a moment and made you meditate? I think it happens to everyone. Not all the time it just catches you off guard.

It's like the universe saying hello or something.

Anyway hold on dear, for me. You don't have to be happy if you just can't. Just get your life together, do what the above poster said, step by step.

You have to be your own hero because no one can do it for you.



Sarahsmith
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27 Jun 2022, 8:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I haven’t gotten any of those bucks :cry:


My brother is quite successful as an artist. He doesn't share. I'm the black sheep if the family.



Sarahsmith
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27 Jun 2022, 8:06 pm

If you give up hope and dwell on depression you will fail to see what choices you have in front of you to survive. That's all life is really, survival.



Kasab740
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27 Jun 2022, 8:40 pm

Alot of us here understand what you're saying and have been there or are even there now. You are among friends, even if virtual. Everyone makes mistakes and people like us make a whole mountain more of mistakes than usual, so we know that you can get past it.
I know someone who spent over 12 years in prison and now has a decent job. That's a much *longer* time and effect on life. Not just a local 'jail' but from age 23 to 35 in a maximum security prison, with all that youth lost. If he can do that, surely you can overcome this.
Check out your local ASD group. Put down the phone and keep it for like one hour a day to stay in contact with who you need to, and stay true to that commitment. Give it some time and focus on making better quality friends. Its hard to see the way up from here, but at least give yourself the chance. In time, you may look back on this as the hardest years of life, but you'll be glad that you worked through it.

[Edit: Aspies are known for supposedly lacking empathy, so if the replies aren't what you expected, that doesn't mean that they don't care, its just a watered-down way of saying it]



rse92
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28 Jun 2022, 7:31 am

I don't know how it feels to want to end it. I do know how it feels to wake up in the morning and say Lord, I feel so bad, if you want to come and take me today, I will go. I needed help, I got help (despite not having asked for it), and even though my personal situation had not hit bottom yet to the point where I lost everything, I felt different about myself. Eventually I caught a few breaks and was in the right place at the right time.

Don't discount mental health assistance (as I did). You never know when the right people in the right situation will reach you.



Rossall
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28 Jun 2022, 8:41 am

Try to be a glass half full person instead of a glass half empty. Try making a list of positives in your life, presumably you have a roof over your head, food and water unlike the poor sods in Ukraine..

I was suicidal aged 21 with a good job and a decent flat but my head was really badly screwed by unrealistic expectations of life.