What Would Your Dating Life Have Looked Like If You Were NT?

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first of all, i would have HAD a dating life in the first place.

I would imagine that my dating life would have been roughly similar to my dad's had I been a 5 ft 10 neurotypical male.

My dad was no chad by any means, but he had a fairly normal dating life and dated a little bit throughout his teens and twenties before ultimately getting married by 27-28 and having me at 30.

So if I were "normal" I probably would have gotten my first girlfriend at (16-18), maybe had a girlfriend or two in college, and gotten married anywhere from (27-35)

I’m a 5 foot 5 autistic beta male.

I had a girlfriend in high school, quite a few relationships in my 20s, and got married in my 30s.

The dating market has vastly changed since you were in your 20's or 30's

There’s always been an element of woman who likes “Chad” types……since the beginning of our species….but as a woman gets older and matures, they become more flexible, and find other reasons to desire a man other than mere physical looks.

There’s always been an element of men who like model types, too. And as they get older, they become more flexible, and desire women for more than merely physical looks.

Not all people are the same.

I’ve never been interested in athletic types because I don’t like sports.

I care more about the interior of a person than his or her outside, as do many.

Exactly!

It’s not changed THAT much.

Love isn’t limited to people with specific body types. Most people end up finding someone.

If one continues to believe, based on a Social Darwinist framework, that they have “no chance,” one will have “no chance,” because women (and men) sense that one who is set in his/her ways will never leave that mindset. This is a presentation which turns off all people. They don’t want to get involved in that psychological baggage.

It’s better to assume that the Social Darwinist ideas pertaining to a “number system” judging looks and perceived desirability in general, are just too simplistic and do not present what is actually true.

If I believed what is concluded in social science studies, I would be a 61 year old virgin who believes he has “no chance.”

The reason why you were successful with dating and I wasn't may have been based on several different factors.


- Since you're obviously older than I am, maybe it was the time period you grew up in and it was easier to find a partner back then. You grew up in an era before online dating and Tinder really started taking over. You also didn't have the internet back then so you were forced to go out and socialize more and was never exposed to redpill/incel content on the internet which may have made your problems even worse.

- Maybe it was the city you grew up in, and it's easier to find a partner where you live compared to where I live for whatever reason. People may be more open minded, or less materialistic and shallow. It may have been you grew up in a small enough town where people knew you more and could put in a good word for you to potential partners.

- Maybe it was the culture you grew up in which made a difference. If your culture encouraged people to be social and outgoing, then it might have helped you with your dating life down the road.

- Maybe it was your family upbringing. If your mom and dad actively encouraged you to date, and you had an older brother willing to help you out, that may have made a difference.

- Maybe you were better looking than I was.

- Maybe you were more outgoing, personable, and/or more of a risk-taker than I was. All three of those personality traits are associated with greater dating success.

- Maybe you were less picky than I was or went for women who were more in your "league". You didn't waste your time chasing really hot girls you had nothing in common with, but instead went for women you'd have stood a shot with.

- Maybe you took rejection better than I did. Instead of crawling to the internet and whining, you continued to pursue until you found someone.

It’s better to pursue (without seeming like you’re pursuing) than to whine on the Internet. Certainly.

What you wrote makes sense on some levels….but don’t rely on it when you get rejected. Just continue with the good old College Try.

reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8sh0CF3lHw

how do you pursue without seeming to pursue?

That happens all the time.

I might hang out with a woman, just be friends with her, without informing her of my desires.

Ok thanks for the advice, that's similar to how it's happened in the past sometimes

It’s not being deceiving if the guy truly wants a friendship with the woman.

It would be deceiving if the guy just wanted to have sex with her.

I meant more that, in general, that a guy shouldn’t be direct in how he feels about a woman right away. It’s better to establish a friendship. Take it slow.

unfortunately, most average-functioning auties are not "most people."