What Would Your Dating Life Have Looked Like If You Were NT?

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Would Dating Be Easier If You Were Neurotypical?
Yes 67%  67%  [ 16 ]
No 17%  17%  [ 4 ]
I'm a neurotypical and my dating life rocks 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a neurotypical and my dating life sucks 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I like to eat grass and moo like a cow 17%  17%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 24

Muse933277
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28 Jun 2022, 8:58 am

What would your dating life have looked like if you were neurotypical instead of autistic? Would dating have been easier, harder, or just about the same? Leave your comments down below.

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For me, my dating life would have been wayyyyyyyyyyyyy easier had I been born neurotypical instead of autistic, and also perhaps been a bit taller as well. As a super short autistic male, my experience with dating was nothing but rejection throughout my teens and the first half of my twenties. Every woman I pursued and asked out either flat out ignored my advances, or put me in the friendzone, which I suspect was a simple lack of physical attraction. My experiences screwed my confidence up, and I became very angry and bitter as a result of constant rejection.


Now imagine had I been neurotypical and by the end of puberty, 5 ft 10. This was the life I was supposed to have if it weren't for things going wrong. I likely would have had a normal dating life, and a normal sex life. I would have had several cute girlfriends, lost my virginity at a relatively young age, and probably have gotten married by the age of 30.



Fnord
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28 Jun 2022, 9:21 am

Muse933277 wrote:
What would your dating life have looked like if you were neurotypical instead of autistic?

This:
Image



Joe90
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28 Jun 2022, 10:38 am

No, for me dating probably wouldn't be easier or harder if I were neurotypical, as I don't find dating hard.

Making friends however, would be easier. That's right, it doesn't make much sense but that's how it seems to be.


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Jun 2022, 10:41 am

I have no idea because I can't imagine being anyone other than myself.

I suppose the sensory aspects would have been easier: like not having to take my own curtains, pillows, and detergents to my partner's house.



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28 Jun 2022, 10:54 am

Ah, well I think I would have had a baby by now, as the fear of the pain of pregnancy and childbirth is part of my anxiety and hypersensitivity to certain pain is what is stopping me, although I don't really put that down to autism because lots of other autistic women seem to manage it OK, but I still know that if I were neurotypical I probably wouldn't have this rigid avoidance thing or whatever it's called. I'd just get pregnant and not worry about it much, only to normal standards.


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Muse933277
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28 Jun 2022, 11:01 am

Fnord wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
What would your dating life have looked like if you were neurotypical instead of autistic?

This:
Image



Me if I were 6 ft with broad shoulders, washboard abs, and crap loads of charisma.

Being famous would certainly help too



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28 Jun 2022, 11:03 am

I wouldn't want to be bombarded by all those women in that picture previously posted in this thread.

The answer to this question is: It might have been "better"----but, then again, maybe I would have met wrong women who would have taken advantage of me. Or maybe I would have had LESS success in dating were I neurotypical.

I'm not going to bother to speculate on this. My life has been my life. I'm not going to look back in regret that I wasn't a neurotypical male. Many neurotypicals DON'T succeed in dating.



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28 Jun 2022, 11:06 am

I wonder what percentage of neurotypical men are "six feet tall or over, with washboard abs, and boatloads of charisma"?

If I were a neurotypical, I might have been successful----or maybe I wouldn't have been successful---who knows?

I'm not even 5 1/2 feet tall, I don't have washboard abs, and I don't have boatloads of charisma. Many successful men, neurotypical or autistic, have had success despite not fitting the "Chad" stereotype.

I'm not going to spend the rest of my life regretting that I'm not an "alpha" male. All this crap is crap to me.

I like to eat grass and moo like a cow.



Muse933277
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28 Jun 2022, 1:17 pm

If I were neurotypical and say 5 ft 9, I would of had some cute ass white girlfriend with long brown hair and a cute booty by the name of Kate. I’d have met her in college through mutual friends and begun a relationship and have lots of sex. Until Kate would wind up leaving me after 2 years of dating, damn you Kate!

However in this timeline, I wound up short and autistic thus never meeting Kate. Instead she wound up with a guy by the name of Jason and now she lives in Oklahoma with him with a baby on the way.



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28 Jun 2022, 1:48 pm

If I had been NT, then I would have at least been able to more easily recognize when girls were actually interested in me, rather than assuming, as I did, that when any signs of interest came, they were precursors to some sort of public humiliation scheme.

Otherwise, on the positive side, I was very tall (I'm a little under 6', 6") and conventionally physically attractive (something I didn't really fully accept until my mid '30s).

On the negative side, I was "too smart" to be able to communicate well with or even be interested in most people (perhaps related to ASD).

I don't regret being single until age 30, though, as I highly valued my extensive "me time". And if I had known about ASD and how it affects me at a young age, rather than not until age 52, I'm not sure if I would have ever started dating.

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28 Jun 2022, 2:29 pm

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Benjamin the Donkey
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28 Jun 2022, 2:43 pm

If I had been NT, I imagine....

Less ill-advised sex.
Fewer hopeless relationships.
Better judgement of potential partners.
Better understanding of my own needs.


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29 Jun 2022, 4:48 pm

No, IMO, my family still have been nosy about it. :roll:


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29 Jun 2022, 8:49 pm

Since nobody in Houston has the same interests, probably not much difference.



KMCIURA
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30 Jun 2022, 2:53 am

Muse933277 wrote:
What would your dating life have looked like if you were neurotypical instead of autistic? Would dating have been easier, harder, or just about the same? Leave your comments down below.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For me, my dating life would have been wayyyyyyyyyyyyy easier had I been born neurotypical instead of autistic, and also perhaps been a bit taller as well. As a super short autistic male, my experience with dating was nothing but rejection throughout my teens and the first half of my twenties. Every woman I pursued and asked out either flat out ignored my advances, or put me in the friendzone, which I suspect was a simple lack of physical attraction. My experiences screwed my confidence up, and I became very angry and bitter as a result of constant rejection.


Now imagine had I been neurotypical and by the end of puberty, 5 ft 10. This was the life I was supposed to have if it weren't for things going wrong. I likely would have had a normal dating life, and a normal sex life. I would have had several cute girlfriends, lost my virginity at a relatively young age, and probably have gotten married by the age of 30.


If I were NT, I would probably have a lot more sex back in my teens and 20's. I mean, there were plenty of occasions when women flirted with me but I haven't noticed it at the time. Also, I was with a girl with very low sex drive for 6 years and it has not bothered me, so I wasn't really going around trying to hook up with anyone to cheat on her. After break-up I was so depressed that I've lost appetite for sex entirely for months, to the point I've rejected an attractive girl I've liked and who was obviously horny for me - I do not regret it, I still feel bad about losing a person I've considered a friend this way.

Assuming that being NT would mean:

-No awkwardness in social situations
-Easiness of picking up clues and recognising flirt
-Average sex drive with nothing against having casual sex with people I am not attracted to intellectually (if I do not consider someone interesting and/or smart it is an instand turn off for me).

I would most likely have richer dating life and more opportunities for getting a bang with someone. So it would be easier. But question is - do I really care? No, honestly. I think I was always in a good place when it comes to my desires and needs vs opportunities.



Muse933277
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30 Jun 2022, 9:42 am

I was actually somewhat cute during my mid and late teens, from the ages of 16 to 18. I remember during that time period, there were actually girls who were romantically interested in me. The problem was that I was incredibly shy, had no idea how to talk to girls, and had zero idea on how to even get a girlfriend let alone get a date. As a result, despite several girls talking to me and making a move on me first, I never dated at all due to the above reasons.

Then at 20/21, my face started to get older and transform into a man's face and I lost a lot of my cute boyish looks. The problem was that even though my face was clearly older, my body didn't change at all and now I looked like a grown man on the body of a 14 year old; I was very short, underweight, not a lot of muscle, etc...

As a result, for the first half of my twenties, and especially during my early twenties, I can't recall a single woman ever being romantically interested in me and every single woman I asked out resulted in rejection. This is in despite of the fact that I was now able to talk to girls, ask them out, and knew about how getting a girlfriend worked.


My "ugly stage" was 13-15 and probably my early twenties.